Frank Falenczyk: It isn't that I'm sorry I killed them; it's that I'm sorry I killed them badly.
Stef: Look, I know you think you know Frank pretty well, but there's probably a few things you're not gonna wanna hear.
Laurel Pearson: Like that he came back to Buffalo to kill Edward O'Leary so he could stop him and the rest of the Irish from getting into bed with some Chinese sugar daddy and wiping your family off the map? Oh, and he's a really big drunk.
Stef: [pauses] Wow. He's really opening up.
Frank Falenczyk: [Dressing the body of Laurel's uncle] I was thinking he kind of looked like a prick, if you don't mind me saying.
Laurel Pearson: No, no, not at all.
Frank Falenczyk: [Comparing dress show and bowling shoe] Also, he seems to have enormous feet.
Laurel Pearson: Yeah, well, those aren't his shoes. I couldn't find his. Stole those from the Chestnut Lanes. Don't tell my Mom.
Frank Falenczyk: Might have to break his toes.
Laurel Pearson: [With a slight smile] Whatever gets the job done.
Tom: [regarding Frank's admission of his career as a hitman to the Alcoholics Anonymous group] Actually, it went better than you think. It did
Laurel Pearson: How do you know they won't tell the police?
Frank Falenczyk: It's Alcoholics Anonymous.
Tom: Somehow I don't really feel that's what they had in mind when they came up with the name, but you never know.
Frank Falenczyk: I missed dinner last night because I got drunk with little Irish people.
Laurel Pearson: Do I really look like I want to go to fucking Buffalo?
Dave: Remind me to be nice to you... Cock.
Dave: In a town with a ten percent vacancy rate a real estate agent is god, and that's what I am: a real estate agent.
Walter Fitzgerald: You'd refuse a dying man his last request?
Frank Falenczyk: Sorry, you dying?
Walter Fitzgerald: [laughs] For fuck's sake, I'm talking about Patrick. That's what this party's all about, sending him on his way.
Frank Falenczyk: Thank you, really, I can't. I'm working, I... gotta keep an eye on things.
Walter Fitzgerald: [sarcastically] He's not going anywhere.