Epic Movie (2007)

Adam Campbell: Peter Pervertsky

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter : Badonkadonk.

• Peter : Tomorrow we fight. So tonight... we party!

• Peter : [while urinating in the snow]  Look! Nicole Richie!

  [camera shows a stick figure with hair] 

• Peter : [From unrated version] 

  [as Superman, Peter is shot in the eye by a thug] 

  Peter : Oh my god! You shot me in the fucking eye! Oh, that really hurt! Why would you do that? That was so unneccesary!

  [backs up and falls off of roof] 

• Peter : I want flabby grandma arms!

• Peter : [Talking about the frozen White Bitch]  We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and...

  Captain Jack Swallows : [Jack Swallows come rolling by on the wodden wheel and runs over the Bitch] 

  [In the distance] 

  Captain Jack Swallows : Take that, Bitch!

  Peter : [pauses]  Ah, screw her anyways.

• Peter : We have something the White Bitch doesn't.

  Lucy : Perky breasts?

• Peter : Monobrow! Monobrow!

  [clapping excitably] 

  Peter : King wants a monobrow!

• Peter : We may not have the numbers on our side or the weapons she possesses, but we have something far more powerful.

  Lucy : Perky breasts?

• Peter : And a monobrow!

  Mystique : [Does a double take]  ... come again?

  Peter : [Starts clapping his hands]  Monobrow, monobrow, king wants a monobrow!

  Mystique : Ok, ok!

  [She sighs and grows a monobrow reluctantly] 

  Peter : And big flabby grandma arms!

  Mystique : [disgusted]  ... Oh!

  Peter : ...Bingo wings! Like a fat blue Britney Spears!

  Mystique : [Rolls her eyes, as she starts flapping her arms and begins to shapeshift] 

  Peter : [while drooling]  ... now that's what I'm talking about...

  Morphed Mystique : [She now appears extremely fat, flabby, and cross-eyed, flapping her "bingo wings" for Peter] 

  Peter : ...come here!

  Morphed Mystique : [Disgustingly wiggles her tongue] 

  Peter : [Peter pulls down the now extremely fat Mystique and they start to make out and get it on]