Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: There are things in this world that modern man relegates to fairy tales and video games. But they are real, they are ugly, and they demand terrible payments for their "gifts."

Liz Sherman: No, no, no, they were in Pakistan. I'm sure of it. How could I forget? We found them after dealing with that sand-demon thing. Or was it the Andes?

Abe Sapien: Actually, I believe it was in Tangiers.

Sydney Leach: [aside] Boy, I can't wait until I see a little action.

Agent Clark: Careful.

Abe Sapien: I connect it with the ghouls under Siti Kasim.

Liz Sherman: Really? I remember webs. Lots of webs.

Hellboy: You're both wrong. They were in Budapest.

Liz Sherman: [gasps] Of course!

Abe Sapien: After the run-in with...

Liz Sherman: That thing!

Abe Sapien: In the choir loft.

Hellboy: With the arms.

Liz Sherman: Yeah! Oh, God, what was the name of that place? The... the...

Abe Sapien: The Monkey Paw!

Liz Sherman: Yes, the Monkey Paw!

Hellboy: Yup, that's where we found them.

Sydney Leach: Found what?

Liz Sherman: The best pastries on earth!

Abe Sapien: Excellent, the very best.

Liz Sherman: [installing surveillance equipment] All right, check the signal.

Sydney Leach: Well, it's decent. But wouldn't video cables cut down on interference, though?

Liz Sherman: Haven't used them since a poltergeist hung Ralph Furtado by his heels in the Whaley House.

Sydney Leach: Really?

Liz Sherman: Occupational hazard. Motion sensor goes down there.


Liz Sherman: He was upside down for four hours. We found him after two, but that guy was such a jerk.

[from trailer]

Hellboy: Destiny is overrated!

Hellboy: Hecate, seen your statue - aren't you missing a couple of heads?

Hecate: Why do you walk this lesser world? Mortals they don't know you. We are greater beings than they could ever dream!"

Hellboy: Yeah, well I'm doing just fine. Now ah, I'm kinda busy - I gotta go...

Hecate: Why, to save them? They're nothing to us! Only a few remain that observe the old rituals so I give them back the priestess and they give me sacrifices of blood. Now accept what you are and come and walk with me!

Hellboy: Lady, I was going to cut you some slack because you're a major mythological figure - but that? That's crazy talk. Now leave me alone!

Young Broom: For that which causes us trials shall lead us to triumph... We must pass through the darkness to reach the light.

[Erzsebet confronts Broom after 60 years - he an old man, she a dessicated, skeletal vampire]

Erzsebet Ondrushko: The years have not been kind to you.

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Nor you.

[she strikes him to the ground]

Erzsebet Ondrushko: So frail. Time has turned you to glass. I pity you.

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: And I you. Growing old is not the worst fate that can befall a person... but you ceased to a be a person long ago.

[Liz looks at a wax statue of Erzebet]

Liz Sherman: She's very beautiful... *was* very beautiful.

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: And she knew it. Her vanity became her obsession. Instead of losing her beauty, she lost her soul.

Tom Manning: Ms. Sherman, Mr. Sapien, you'll be going to British Columbia.

Professor Kate Corrigan: Ogopogo has been sighted again on Lake Okanagan. This time it's apparently flipped a couple of houseboats.

Abe Sapien: Think I'm being typecast?

Liz Sherman: Ha, aren't we all?

Sydney Leach: Miss Sherman? You mind if I take a look at the assignment folder?

Liz Sherman: [chuckles] Call me Liz.

Abe Sapien: Call me Abe.

[everyone looks at Hellboy]

Hellboy: Call me... only if you really need me.

Hellboy: You can't stay, Professor.

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: I'm no longer director of field operations, but I'm not ready to retire.

Hellboy: I'm not saying that. But you shouldn't be here. You're too-

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Old? I'm sorry I don't share your seemingly eternal youth. You grew so fast at first. In no time at all, you were too big to spank.

Hellboy: Only 'cause the tail got in the way.

Oliver Trombolt: This is amazing stuff! Amazing! It truly is. I-I don't know what to say!

Hellboy: [sotto] Yeah. He just keeps talking.

[the butler answers the door at Trombolt's mansion]

Butler: May I help you?

[Liz looks at their party, which includes Hellboy and Abe]

Liz Sherman: You're kidding, right?