Sir Billi (2012)

These are difficult times we live in, I know, but this is your homeland's first animated feature and I found it almost as radioactive as just about every other movie on the Redbox. I might not be an animation guru but this entire thing has the appearance of an late 80's/early 90's CGI tech demo that was padded with an hour of random material just to make a coherent story. The least they could've done was drawn it in traditional animation, or something closely resembling a television animated cartoon, to spare my eyes from the beguiling character design.

Are those supposed to be badgers? They have realistic eyes for some reason and grossly over-sized cheeks. Nearly every characters looks like that, actually; I've never been to Glasgow but now I'm inclined to believe that's how they see themselves in caricature I guess - everyone looks like a bong. Or a bong with a mustache. And wrinkles.

'Sir Billi' appears to be a story about a loose Sean Connery parody who skateboards around and helps the ugliest of people and animals. In the hands of the right people, this could've very well been an excellent film... but it was given to novices, incompetent people, and although Sean Connery's career is long and historic - you can't help but wonder if the only reason he made this was not for a paycheck, but for a dozen bottles of scotch.