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  • David Stanley was something of a wonder boy for 2 of porn's leading labels a decade or two ago: Vivid and then Wicked, but so many of his features just don't hold up to the light of day viewed now. When I first started watching his goofy videos I was hoping to discover a Preston Sturges in the rough, but no such luck.

    This one was designed to introduce new Wicked contract star Carmen Hart to the porn public, and thanks to her winning personality it does succeed at that. But otherwise it is a disaster.

    Besides Stanley's hermetic and self-indulgent approach (featuring endless foot-fetish action to turn himself on), the project is still-born with the casting of his favorite actor Randy Spears. It's supposed to be comedy but he plays it so heavy you'd think he was auditioning for one of those preachy Abby Mann/Stanley Kramer message pictures or TV shows of the 1950s.

    Making faces throughout, he plays a guy who leaves his wife (after humping her one last time, a chance for us to see the underutitlized performer Jamie Huxley in action) to go to Madrid, where he checks into a hotel. This means interminable failed comedy by Eric Masterson (the actor who most often plays Stanley's alter ego screen manifestation) as the hotel desk clerk, affecting different voices and snatches of languages that are so stupid that David feels compelled to "explain" this conceit to the loyal viewer in the movie's BTS.

    After a meet-cute with Carmen, Randy and her play oil and water, delaying their inevitable hop into the sack for the duration of what seems an interminable feature. It goes nowhere, stuck in that hotel en route to an oh-so-cutesy ending winking at the audience. Stanley insultingly throws in for filler the good old extraneous sex scene, here in the form of a porn on hotel-TV starring Joanna Angel and Chris Cannon.

    It's bad enough to make me want to (almost) tear up my official David Stanley Fan Club membership card.