Erin: I only think of you as a friend, Frodo.

Natalie: No offense, but I can't even imagine sleeping with you. Not even if I had been poisoned and the antidote was in your sperm. Seriously, I would rather feel my insides slowly decompose than see you naked... I know you think I'm kidding... I'm not...

Dr. Ned: So what's the problem, what's the nut, what's the rub?

Dr. Ned: So what's your steez now? What's the... what's the shot, what's the move, what's... what's your jam?

Gene: Look, the thing is Charlotte... I really like you and these past six months have been great, but we need to break up.

Charlotte: Why?

Gene: Well... life is... too short... to settle... for someone...

Charlotte: Ugly? You think I'm ugly?

Gene: No, no, no. I don't think that you're ugly...

Charlotte: You think I'm stupid, don't you?

Gene: No you're not stupid...

Charlotte: Oh my God, am I bad in bed? I am, aren't I?

Gene: God, you're not bad in bed...

Charlotte: Well then, what is it?

Gene: You're too short for me.

Charlotte: [Looking at first confused, then angry] Listen Tom Thumb, you know how many guys would kill to fuck me? The list is longer than you are.