Cassie: The Evil Thing is a gruesome beast./On living flesh, it loves to feast./It's a two-headed thing whom you don't wish to greet... /One head sucks your blood, one head chews your meat./It carries its babies in slimy eggs on its back./The babies are hungry when they hatch for a snack,/so the Evil Thing traps some horrid victim alive,/for the babies to eat when their birthdays arrive,/but don't worry, don't cry, please don't have a fit... /The Evil Thing is not real unless you think about it./Remember, don't think about it...

Cassie: Ha! That's what you get for wrecking my DVD-player, you little brat!

Max Keller: it was an accident!

The Stranger: [sinister voice] Oh, well! Buyer's remorse!... Happens all the time in the retail industry.

Max Keller: WAX LIPS? I LOVE wax lips! I HAVE to have wax lips!

Eileen Keller: [to Cassie] You know, you might make new friends if you didn't try SO hard to be different!

Sean: And your brother! I mean, what did he do to you?

Cassie: [sheepishly] He... annoys me...

Sean: [sarcastic] ... Ouch.

Student: [referring to the "Pumpkin Queen" Priscilla, who had cockroaches dumped on her at the Halloween dance] The Cockroach Queen! Ha-ha-ha!

Max Keller: [referring to the fake wear-on claw hand that Cassie is wearing] That thing's not even real! It's made outta rubber!

Cassie: True, but the real one IS out there!

Priscilla Wright: [angrily] I know it was you.

Cassie: Prove it.

Priscilla Wright: You are SO dead!

Cassie: OH!

Priscilla Wright: i think my daddy's gonna get me a limo! Like, a pink one!

Cassie: ...I love you Max, you can do this!

The Stranger: Aren't you the girl who likes to scare people?