One-Eyed Monster (2008) User Reviews (32)

Nothing surprising or new here, but slightly appealing and consistently silly.

[ElijahCSkuggs · 5/10 · 28 April 2009]

One-Eyed Monster, the story of a blood-thirsty penis on the rampage. If you're reading this blurb of a review, you've most likely seen other flicks that are like One-Eyed Monster. You may have seen Teeth, Bad Biology or maybe even Killer Pussy, so you're probably pretty psyched to check out another flick with deranged genitals. And if you really enjoyed any of the above films, you should definitely give this film a look. If you didn't like them, there's no reason for you to watch this one. It's just more of the same goofy genital humor.

A blazing meteorite/beam of energy type thing crashed into Ron Jeremy as he was star-gazing at the night sky. Not long after, the new found home of the alien entity is now on the loose (it detached itself) and on the rampage. Throw in some forgettable characters and situations, and you got One-Eye Monster. It's basically just a slasher film with a killer penis on the loose.

There's not much to be really impressed with in this flick. The humor is okay, with maybe a few smiles or giggles throughout. Though, I do have to admit the jokes, although pretty weak, are delivered with charm and it's obvious all actors involved are pretty into the film. Well besides Mr. Napier. His character was either hit or miss. His long story, telling his bizarre memory of Vietnam was a total snooze. The black dude was like a bad soap opera star, and brought a forgettable serious role to the film. Actually whenever the movie tried to go serious, it fell flat. Almost everyone else played an OTT role and for the main part did an alright job.

A big gripe was the lack of nudity in this one. There was one scene of boobs, and I think that was it. If they had a scene where they showed a full naked Ron Jeremy, the house would have come down. Shame. They kept the nudity to one chick and the fake alien weiner. Also, the gore is very minimal. Remember in the trailer where the guy gets split in half? That, and a couple sprays of blood is all I can remember. That was disappointing as well.

I had high hopes for this new entry into the subgenre of genital horror, but I was let down once again. The jokes and silly acting was abundant so you may laugh a bit, but it's just an average to below-average comedy. And as a horror, as it is a hor/com, it doesn't do well there either. The gore was weak, the nudity disappointing and the situations bland and cliché.

If you're easily pleased, and all you need is the idea of a killer penis to make you happy, you should be golden. But if you have experience with these types of movies, this is just more of the same. Just so you know where I stand with the above flicks that I mentioned, I enjoyed Killer Pussy (great nudity) and Teeth (bizarre dark humor) about equal, with this next and Bad Biology (tried way too hard to be funny) last.

Epic tease, no money shot

[RogerBorg · 4/10 · 28 July 2010]

The premise is bold and charming enough, and "it's raining dick" does qualify as a classic monologue. But ultimately, there's not enough meat here to satisfy.

The biggest fail is poor Amber Benson, who clearly joined the project late on to provide a 'name' of sorts. It's painfully obvious that she was actually green-screened in to several scenes in post production, often with wildly different encoding/film stock than the other cast. Somewhere out there is a no-name actress who shot those scenes and who was simple overlayed with the usefully chunky Ms Benson. I weep for her, and for her career.

Don't get me wrong: with the right amount of moonshine in you, this is quite a fun film, amiably played and competently written and shot, but it's too good to be bad enough to be good, but not good enough to enjoy on its merits, if you follow.

B-o-r-i-n-g

[morkulv_athferion · 3/10 · 22 June 2010]

There are no words that can describe the boringness that is this film. When I saw the trailer, I expected a slapstick horror-movie that makes fun of both the cliché's in porn and horror-genres. Instead, this movie gets boring very quickly and for the most part is just people talking nonsense to each other with weird 'jokes' that never seem to go anywhere. I expected a little bit more entertainment from a movie about a penis that goes around killing people.

The gore is also pretty nonexistent which was a letdown for me. I thought that a movie like this would at least go all the way with the killings, but this movie is actually pretty tame except for perhaps the shots of people wrestling with a rubber dildo. Some of the conversations are okay and can be pretty funny if it wasn't delivered so utterly uninspired and boring. I know this is the third time I mentioned the word boring, but its really all you need to know about this movie. Its actually pretty amazing that the creators could make this movie boring with the plot that it has, but they did it.

If you are looking for a good nonsense horror-movie to watch with your buddies like I was, then don't stop here. This movie is mostly sleep- inducing and forgettable crap that doesn't deliver what you expect from it. Three stars go out to the cast and crew that did a decent job of working with the little they were given.

Sounds better than it is.

[poolandrews · 2/10 · 31 July 2010]

One-Eyed Monster starts as a bus-load of hardcore porn stars arrive at an isolated log cabin on a mountain, along with the crew T.J. (Caleb Mayo) & Jonah (Jason Graham) they are there to shoot a hardcore porn film. The star is ageing porn actor Ron Jeremy (Ron Jeremy) who has trouble getting his nine inch member up these days, while outside a strange burst of light from the night sky engulfs him. Back on set & in action with his ageing co-star Veronica Hart (Veronica Hart) his penis attacks her & then rips itself off Ron's groin & goes on a mad killing spree as it tries to mate with all the nice young female pron stars on set. The trapped cast & crew assume that Ron's penis has been possessed by an alien life-force & is trying to spread it's seed throughout humanity by taking control of Ron Jeremy's penis & having sex with as many women as it can. The only question is, can they stop it?

Co-written, produced & directed by Adam Fields this comedy horror is like a ten year old dream come true, a few naked breasts's, a bit of blood & a one note joke about an alien possessed killer penis that I am sure will appeal to those with a rock bottom sense of humour but for anyone looking for a funny & witty horror comedy expect disappointment. At less than 80 minutes long One-Eyed Monster actually drags in places, the character's have a few amusing one-liners every now & again but generally they are stupid clichés who irritate. The killer penis gets like a minute of screen time. All the kills are off screen. There are about two scenes with any actual nudity. For a supposed gross out horror comedy about an alien possessed killer penis running amok during a hardcore porn film shoot One-Eyed Monster is unbelievably tame & none eventful. To give it some credit the sexual innuendos, one-liners & double entendres can be quite amusing at times but does get a little boring by the end & there's only so far penis jokes can carry a film. I won't even bother picking holes in the script as it's clearly not a film to be taken seriously even though at times one did get the impression that the makers were treating it all very seriously, too seriously in fact.

AS I already mentioned despite it's premise & situations One-Eyed Monster is amazingly tame, I think only one actress bares her breast's while no-one is killed on screen at all. There's a brief shot a woman with a hole in her head & someone gets sliced in two but otherwise that's it. The production values are reasonable, it looks better than one might have expected I suppose. There are a few homages here that are easy enough to spot including obvious ones from Jaws (1975), Aliens (1986) & Tremors (1990). The effects are alright but on the few occasion when you do actually see the alien possessed killer penis it looks like a fresh big long brown turd.

The acting isn't too bad, ageing porn stars Ron Jeremy & Veronica Hart appear while porn starlet Carmen Hart also appears & is terrible. God knows what an old pro like Charles Napier is doing in this.

One-Eyed Monster is a film that has a magnificent & simply outrageous premise that in the right hands hands could have been the gross out horror comedy of the decade, as it is it's a boring tame mess with only a few one-liners & sexual innuendo to recommend it. One-Eyed Monster is the type of film that people want to like (like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)) for it's sheer outlandishness but when it comes down to it the film itself is just poor.

Went in with low expectations, and thought the premise sounded funny, but the movie wasn't that funny at all.

[witster18 · 2/10 · 5 October 2011]

There were two scenes in the film that were funny. The first came when the *&#%^ just killed some chick by flying into her mouth. A group of the girls(remember, they're all porn stars) found her in that state ran to another cabin to tell everyone that they found a ($%#% in her mouth, and there was NO reaction. Definitely funny.

The problem with this film is that there were a million jokes they could have used like the one above, but the film just isn't very funny at all. It was really difficult to get through.

I was prepared for the low-budget production values, and I don't shy away from movies or dislike them for that characteristic alone, but this film just didn't capitalize on it's brilliant premise. While watching the film I was thinking of all the of ways it could have been better...

unfortunately, this film is not funny enough to score any higher than this. 2, maybe 3 funny moments just doesn't fill 90 minutes. Bring in the Evil Dead bunch, re-cast Ron in his role here, maybe even add Adam Green as a director, and boost the comedy and horror aspects of this movie while still keeping it silly, and you'd have a real winner. Not funny enough to gain the cult status that the storyline led me to believe I might find.

Great idea... heck, fantastic idea... poor script considering the endless possibilities. I'm no filmmaker or comedian, but even I could have made this infinitely funnier.

You want a better film with a similar premise - try "Teeth" or "Chillerama(wadzilla segment)".

Everything It Should Have Been... And Tame

[gavin6942 · 12 October 2011]

A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie.

I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy. Ron Jeremy is taken over by an alien, his penis detaches itself... and then it starts killing people. I guess you could screw this up, but they did not.

The film revolves around jokes -- dozens and dozens of jokes. You might think after two or three penis jokes it would get stale, but it never really does. Combined with a fair amount of gore and just a hint of sex, it keeps your attention and your laughter throughout. (For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.)

Oh, and Charles Napier. Wow. A serious actor, with plenty of solid credits behind him... and he appears in a film where he not only fights a penis, but delivers one of the greatest monologue ever spoken about aliens in Vietnam. Priceless. This speech alone is worth the view.

Brilliant Premise- Epic Fail in Execution

[kazimer66-1 · 4/10 · 4 December 2009]

Despite the surprisingly solid performances from all the cast, the script and story failed to deliver on a fresh and unique premise.

The film either had a genre identity crisis or was quite simply pushed on to celluloid before the script was properly polished. It's like watching a professional crew film a first draft script.

It ran the gamut between clever and stupid and often found its cruising speed on the ridiculous and mundane. A better knowledge of the initial setting would also have been helpful.

I was expecting / hoping for a solid dark comedy with horror undertones, but was painfully disappointed. So many obvious comedic dialogue opportunities were missed, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and story choices that defied common sense, left me with the impression of a family funded backyard film project, despite the professional production values.

I would recommend this film to aspiring screenwriters to see what their 1st draft scripts would look like on screen...

Worst movie EVER.

[slatromhsiloof · 1/10 · 1 November 2010]

Once again reviews and ratings on IMDb cannot be trusted. I could make a better movie than this with a budget of $500 by taping a web camera to my dog's belly pointing backwards, and capturing his bowel movements. I am not exaggerating. Watching feces drop from a dog's anus would be about 20 times more entertaining than this load of cr@p was. Not funny at all, acting was atrocious, story went nowhere. 10 minutes into the film I was hoping a plane would crash into my house and end my suffering. The only usefulness this film could possibly have is to use it as a medium punish children who refuse to behave. After forcing them to watch ten minutes of this turd they would find religion, repent their sins, and join a monastery, probably taking oaths of silence, deafness, and blindness. This is Ron Jeremy's worst performance to date, and I'm pretty sure at some point before this, he played a dead body and loudly farted during the scene. If permanent blindness is your idea of a good time, by all means watch this brain cell killing abortion. Incurable foot fungus is more entertaining. I would rather die of scrofula than watch this "movie" again. I'm also fairly certain this "movie" gave me tapeworms. The only good thing about this film is I think it killed my liver fluke about 30 minutes in.

One-Eyed Monster

[Scarecrow-88 · 5/10 · 18 July 2009]

Hard core porn legend Ron Jeremy's disembodied shlong goes on a rampage attacking the cast crew of an adult movie shoot in a mountain cabin. In order to stop the fiend they will have to band together and somehow pulverize it.

While Ron is urinating, an alien life form falls from the sky, entering his body, using his nine plus inch pecker as a tool to supposedly "seed the earth", but it instead kills most of the human hosts it penetrates due to it's powerful force. The beast's Achilles heel is once it blows it's load, it must rest. This resting period(..refractory period)is when it's most vulnerable for attack. The crew will need to corner it, somehow getting the penis to get off so that it can be chopped into pieces. This will not be an easy task.

Murderous sex gags galore and penis jokes aplenty, along with playful jabs at the porn industry. Not as lurid as you expect by reading the synopsis, and we only see one pair of tits with no explicit sexual activity on screen. This is more a gore comedy with vulgar language, most appropriate in regards to the industry this film conveys(..in other words, most of the language is of a sexually explicit kind).

Ron Jeremy(..recognized as his first film, introduced to the mainstream audience)has a limited screen time, which might disappoint his fans. Veronica Hart, however, has a little more to do, and her "talents" lend a hand to possibly upending the killer cock. Ron and Veronica have a touching moment discussing their "over the hill" stature in the industry. Hart's skill, special for holding her men at bay without their ability to ejaculate, is played to the hilt.

But, it was Charles Napier, as a mountain man who understands a little about what it going on, who had me in ribbons..just wait until he discusses to the group how his platoon were slaughtered by a similar killer dong! Jason Graham is a crew member, a soldier during the Gulf War, who assumes the leadership role, Amber Benson(..Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series) as a make-up girl in love with Ron, and Jeff Denton is the sleazy, cowardly a$$hole director porn casts love to hate. Rounding out the cast is Caleb Mayo as a MacGyver-like genius whose "neural tactile simulator"(..a dick massaging machine programmed to feel like the orifice of whomever is chosen!)comes in handy, Bart Fletcher and Jenny Guy as young porn actors, and Carmen Hart as an actress who gets to worst kind of head imaginable.

This is a great movie to watch when your drunk

[atinder · 6/10 · 15 June 2012]

i have only seen this once before, the last time i saw, it was silly and fun.

Now seeing for second time, it feel a little tame the second times around, the jokes are still funny.

Which the over the top plot, i did notice there not much gore in this movie at all, i didn't not like the fact some of the deaths scenes were off screen.

did chuckle at one deaths scenes that was on screen and when that tailwager attacks the victims at first was funny, it got a bit boring as the movie went on.

I really enjoyed some references to other horror pass horror movies, which were fun to watch

The acting from whole cast was really good, as they made even more silly and fun to watch.

6 out of 10 for

I couldn't even watch this brain-numbing sleeper

[catfish-er · 1/10 · 2 October 2009]

I recorded ONE EYED MONSTER on a whim, as it featured Ron Jeremy in his first legitimate movie. It's an "R" version of an adult movie being filmed away from the city, the boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

Thank goodness Ron Jeremy's screen time is limited to about 20 minutes, before his character -- he plays himself -- is killed off. As bad as Ron Jeremy's acting is, the rest of the cast is even worse! The acting is wooden, unemotional; and, insincere. The dialog is laden with sexual innuendo, which is not subtle or clever at all.

About 40 minutes in (after the first few deaths -- yawn) I fast-forwarded to the end, which features the lamest special effects since THE CREAPING TERROR of 1964. I know this is supposed to be funny; and, yes, some of the death scene's are reminiscent of SCARY MOVIE; but, that does little to save this film.

The gag of a homicidal, detached penis gets old fast. And, while I could live with such an insane premise, the worst is the long, dragged-out, heavy dialog. There was just too little action, barely any violence (for an "R" rated horror flick, with "graphic violence" that means virtually none); and, little of anything else to hold your attention.

If you like horror, comedy or feel-good penis movies...

[NicholasBrandt · 10/10 · 30 April 2009]

Let's face it. Right now, the world is not a fun place. Thankfully, the people behind One Eyed Monster have provided a magnum (condom) opus of fun.

On a remote porn shoot, a killing spree begins at the "hands" of the titular character. The comedy often comes from juxtaposition of standard horror responses and scenarios with a very non-standard monster. Don't want to spoil it for anyone who can't figure it out.

Performances are solid throughout the cast, but I'd have to say that the standout is Jason Graham in the role of Jonah. Graham has charisma and I wouldn't be surprised to see him in major Hollywood releases in the near future. Of course, Amber Benson gives a solid turn as the makeup girl with a crush on Ron Jeremy. And Ron Jeremy? His purposefully wooden acting during the porn shoot perfectly balances the bit of heart he has when commiserating with fellow veteran Veronica Hart.

If you are looking for a think piece about the travesties of the justice system or the inequities of societal living, this is not your movie (you pompous pompous person).

If you want some good laughs, look to One Eyed Monster to give them to you.

Is it a good film? No, probably not. Is it fun? Yes, it is.

[BA_Harrison · 6/10 · 23 April 2020]

Adult star Ron Jeremy owes his success is to the veritable monster. In this raunchy horror comedy, Ron's legendary livelihood becomes a literal monster after he is struck by a strange light from outer space. Inhabited by an alien force, Jeremy's unproportional appendage detaches itself from his body and goes on the rampage, killing the cast and crew of a hardcore movie being filmed at a remote cabin in the Californian mountains.

I really wasn't expecting to enjoy this crazy comedy, but was pleasantly surprised by how funny it actually is, the fun script taking the monster movie genre's many clichés and subverting them to suit the adult movie setting. Jeremy is actually a far better actor than I remembered, but is killed off fairly quickly (but not before delivering the poignant line "All I can do is kiss the tip"), leaving it up to Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Jeremy's frequent real-life co-star Veronica Hart, cult actor Charles Napier (Supervixens), and a handful of unknowns to battle the orifice-obsessed alien-possessed pecker. Hat's off to Caleb Mayo as T.J., the MacGyver of the group (inventor of the neuro tactile simulator), sexy Carmen Hart for providing the nudity as brunette adult star Angel, and Jason Graham as hero Jonah, who delivers his ridiculous lines with a stoicism and seriousness guaranteed to delight.

My major complaint - and I can't believe I'm writing this - is that the film simply doesn't feature enough of Ron Jeremy's disembodied dong: some stop-motion footage of it crawling like an inchworm (or a nine inch worm, as one character remarks) or the use of puppetry to show it attacking its victims would have helped immensely (although I understand that the budget may have not stretched to this). Also, Napier's long monologue about his experience with a similar monster in Vietnam isn't quite the hilarious show-stopper that it was clearly intended to be.

Still, with a couple of hot women (Carmen Hart, plus blonde babe Jenny Guy as her fellow adult performer Wanda), a smattering of gore (the one-eyed-monster poking a hole through Angel's head and slicing sleazy producer Jim in half), and a huge helping of smutty silliness, One-Eyed Monster does what it sets out to do: provide 84 minutes of puerile fun.

Goofy comic horror

[Leofwine_draca · 5/10 · 3 October 2015]

ONE-EYED MONSTER is a low rent comedy horror that makes use of real-life porn-film legend, Ron Jeremy. The plot is preposterous - an alien life force comes to each and possesses Jeremy's detached penis before going on a killing spree - but the execution is surprisingly likable given the paucity of imagination and the sheer dumbness of the premise.

The story template is pretty much a rip-off of Carpenter's THE THING, with characters holed up in a snowbound cabin and finding themselves bumped off one by one by an unseen premise. The special effects aren't up to much, so they're wisely left off-screen for the most part, which I think was a good idea. The humour is quite funny in places and as a whole the film is funnier than I'd expected. It's also tamer than you might think and rarely distasteful.

Oddly enough, the best acting comes from the two genuine porn stars in the film, Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart. Jeremy in particular comes across as a lovable goof rather than anything else. B-movie fans will enjoy the presence of old-time cult star Charles Napier in a supporting role, although my favourite character is the geeky Ed Bryne-lookalike sound technician.

Are you trying to tell me a disembodied DICK did this?

[lastliberal-853-253708 · 4/10 · 31 March 2012]

Aliens and adult films. What could they possibly have in common?

You know it's "adult" because Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart are in it. They are off in the woods making an adult film when the strangest thing happens.

Ron is invaded by the alien force which settles in his penis. It detaches itself, and is now terrorizing the group.

Needless to say, it is a funny movie. In fact, it gets downright ridiculous.

Jason Graham and Amber Benson were excellent.

If you liked Teeth, you will enjoy this one.

Bad

[ashfordofficial · 1/10 · 28 January 2023]

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

Real porn stars curio - otherwise unadult -(geddit?)- errated twaddle!

[Bofsensai · 2/10 · 10 July 2016]

Similar to likely most of you reading through these, I'm a fan of 'so bad it becomes good' cinematic art (well, efforts); and the DVD box come on for our edition was irresistible - disembodied buxom bum clad in one size too small fitting red panties! (Why mention that in connection with film viewing: coz even that was a disappointment coz although there is a scene in which porn star struck character (Laura / Amber Benson) is instructed (er, directed by director?) to remove her panties so to lure the disembodied 'dick' of the titular owner's, they were NOT the same! Bad distributors!)

So, anyway, why add this one in? Most others have set out all the salient - and awful points: of course, if someone tells you its so bad don't waste your time watching, you're gonna wanna know why, or just disbelieve them, and still go ahead anyway, right? So, having not heeded the advice / warning, what could you look out for that would make you feel that the 80 minutes you invest in this twaddle will return something of movie buff value? Well, besides delicious dollies playing porn stars in a location straight outta most horror tropes (cabin in the, ah, woods) and yet in WINTER (there's obviously false snow all around) - and they're gonna do a get ya togs off shoot in such a climate? They don't even light up a fire anywhere and that's despite veteran actor Charles Napier first appears from outside as frozen up … then perhaps it would be to actually just listen to: because, yes as you will see from the extensive quotes sidebar, there are many lines that beggar belief (Wanda with Angel's, er, nether regions exploration advice has gotta be the most outrageous delivered in any film I've ever seen = kudos to scriptwriters - siblings? - the three Fields): so perhaps you would want to watch, if only to catch the contexts in which these daft deliveries are made.

Oh, and that being it's about porn stars, then to see real life legendary '70's R. Jeremy and V. Hart attempting non porn acting chops: the former (deliberately so?) appallingly wooden, the latter (not deliberately, but desperately so?) some of the best facial scenery chewing, as she herself is presumably chewed on (or something!) from within.

Oh, and in that context, again from the scriptwriters some profound commentary on ex porn stars lot in society.

Oh, and that it's apparently the one of the pair on murderous penis (genre!) films (the other 'Pervert' = make it a double bill evening to tolerate its unwinding?)

So that, in the end, if you still wanna not heed all the don't waste ya time invocations, then I would recommend you at least add in the challenge to make it a drinking watch = choose your favourite tipple and you can't drink until you hear the word 'DICK' (beware in C. Napier's central interminable monologue!) - guaranteed you'll be so blotto by end, you'll be spared the utterly pointless end along with oh so lame last line.

Could have been better

[BakuryuuTyranno · 6/10 · 1 January 2011]

The crew shooting a pornography film head toward on old cabin in the middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members.

Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been. Naturally the movie doesn't take itself seriously but it never feels like its using its full potential. Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous. The characters, thankfully have some effort put into them, without the movie getting depressing as victims are killed off.

For what its worth, this movie is far superior to "Penetration Angst" and "Teeth", although that's not saying much.

Very Funny!

[arpy1469 · 9/10 · 2 June 2009]

As B-Horror movies go, "One Eyed Monster" is a unique hit. You have to love Ron Jeremy...the porn star who refuses to take himself too seriously. The premise is almost unheard of. You have to watch "Pervert!" to find another movie where a detached penis is the serial killer. Of course, THIS movie is MUCH better because the actors do a much better job. "One Eyed Monster" is absolutely hilarious. It's simple, stupid and completely enjoyable. And, oddly enough, when you consider the subject material, there is a veritable lack of nudity throughout the movie. Just that fact alone is amazing when you consider porn actresses Veronica Hart and Carmen Hart are also in the movie. There are a lot of lines which you will be repeating because they are just so silly. You gotta watch this!

This movie is hilarious!!!!!!

[stephen92895 · 6/10 · 12 February 2011]

They are being very serious in the movie, and that just makes it all the funnier. Talking about alien dicks wouldn't be funny unless you were serious, which they were. Especially when Napier's character started talking about fighting his captain's dick in Vietnam, he killed it by using whores to have sex with it so it would have to rest. Then he through it in a bunker and tossed a grenade in, when he started talking about it raining dick I just lost it, very funny, especially the black guy and the nerd. Ron Jeremy wasn't a good part of the movie, good thing he died in the beginning. This is a good movie for someone mature who wants some laughs, there are a lot of bad b movies out there but this one is about an alien taking control of Ron Jeremy's dick, which makes it all the funnier.

Realistic

[pinkfloydjosh · 6/10 · 29 June 2019]

This film is so funny it really is underrated one I'd reccomend if you want a laugh

Off the Chain!!! Twisted!!!! Wooooooooooooooooooooooonderful!!!!

[jack-115-853599 · 10/10 · 22 August 2013]

Okay, so while lying in bed trying to die of an awful, awful cold, I ran across this title on the movie guide and after convulsing into uncontrollable laughter, thought "Naw....it just COULDN'T be about THAT!!!.." Oh, but it is!!!!! I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the alltime super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.

This is a very clever take on that theme. A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and gets trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew. Believe it or not, the production values are quite good, elevating this waaay above cheesy. Moreover, the ensemble cast is excellent while the writing is crisp, witty, and hilarious. Of course it was also sick and twisted but I laughed until I cried. The outstanding performances, hands down, are those of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day," (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!), and a positively hilarious turn by none other than Charles Napier.

Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime (this most assuredly being sublime), this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection. It is quite funny and though it didn't cure my cold, it sure made me forget I had one!! January 6, 2013 - watched again for about the 8th time - eeeeeeeeeeexcellent way to bring in the New Year!!!! - movie just rocks!!!! :0)

Unnatural Porn Killer

[ferbs54 · 6/10 · 23 April 2010]

Seemingly inspired by the Frank Zappa song "Bwana Dik," with its memorable line "My dick is a monster," 2008's "One Eyed Monster" (the lack of a hyphen is annoying) tells a story that must be a first in the history of cinema. In the film, 10 people go to the wintry mountains of northern California to make an adult film, with porn legends Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart serving as consultants. Problems arise when an alien force possesses Ron and painlessly makes off with his tubesteak, leaving the human tripod emasculated and quite dead. And then matters get even worse, as the alien-possessed wiener starts to attack and slay every one of the cast and crew! Anyway, as you may have gathered, this is probably not the best movie to sit down to watch with Aunt Petunia. Truth to tell, though, the picture looks a lot better than you may expect, its only cheapjack effect being Ron's dismembered member itself. If you were anticipating Ray Harryhausen-like FX as regards this murderous appendage, forget it; what little we see of the darn thing looks like a wriggling dildo, at best. Still, many of the picture's lines are pretty funny, the acting is surprisingly good, and there is even a sweet scene in which Ron and Veronica reflect on getting older and not so spry that is actually kinda touching. Russ Meyer stalwart Charles Napier almost steals this film, especially in the scene in which he tells of his experiences in Nam (practically channeling Robert Shaw in "Jaws"); that is, until Veronica walks away with the picture by demonstrating her superpower in the finale, her Kegel abilities doing for vaginal canals what Xenia Onatopp did for thighs! All in all, painless, goofy fun; like "Night of the Living Dead," but with a killer schlong instead of zombies. Oh...this Liberation DVD looks just fine, and comes loaded with more extras than you could shake a (9 3/4") stick at!

Expected bottom of the barrel...

[MJDMLQ · 6/10 · 27 April 2012]

....but this movie is surprisingly watchable.

Let's just get this straight, there is nothing new here. One-Eyed Monster "borrows" from several "Aliens take over the world" movies. It is derivative in overall story and alien presentation to at least a dozen films. Several scenes, themselves, are practically snatched out of other flicks and inserted at will here.

What makes this movie entertaining is it's level of campiness. The special effects are terrible, but that only adds to the comedic silliness. The actors and actresses do a fine job in this sci/fi black comedy. Never thought I would type these words, but Jeff Denton is brilliant as the sleazy director. Usually terrible in any movie he does (and very often fodder in my IMDb reviews), Jeff Denton steals every one of his scenes. If you come across this movie on the Sci/Fi Channel, or if you could pick it up cheaply on eBay, it is certainly worth at least one viewing. Just don't expect to see "Independence Day."

bravo!

[buddylucas1974 · 10/10 · 4 August 2009]

I think this is a very funny, and well executed movie. They did just what they set out to do. The humor of it is not just in actors delivery, which I thought was just right and well directed, but also in and of itself. What I mean is that OEM almost laughs at itself. I think it is unfortunate that some would see it and just not "get it". Perhaps some people are too literal minded or take things at face value, or have never laughed at the sound of someone pouring a tall glass of Kool-Aid just because it sounds funny. I think OEM has a great sense of humor to it. I particularly enjoyed Jenny Guy's performance as Wanda. I think that she was very funny without trying to be. That commitment to the glass onion of a world that Wanda lives in is what was so funny. The role of the bombshell void of complex thoughts is easily and usually ruined by actresses trying to be funny. However, Jenny nailed it. I enjoyed other performances in OEM as well, but Jenny Guy really stood out to me. The pace clips right along and I was entertained from beginning to end wearing a wry smirk that was frequently interrupted with laughter. The whole idea/story is just so silly it's brilliant. bravo!