Erin Gorman: [about Blanca] Also, she needs to stop telling people I'm over weight. I thought that someone mistakenly told her my name was Ella. Turns out, she's doing it on purpose. Ella is short for elephant.

Blanca Champion: Get your hands off me, chunk!

Erin Gorman: I weigh 110 pounds. That's not fat. I have tried to be as nice as I know how. That's over. I'm giving you this warning: Stay away from Vance, or I'm going to get my cousins to go to your cabin, and have them hog tie and weigh you. Capiche?

Blanca Champion: You know what? Screw this! I don't need this bullshit. This fucking method acting crap. 110 pounds my ass!

Mike: [mocks Luke] Oh, hey, excuse me, Coach stick-up-your-ass, do you think I might massage your penis for a few minutes so I too can get a work out?

Luke: Is it hard being such a douchebag all the time?

Mike: Uh, no. No, I actually kinda like it.

Luke: Loser.

Blanca Champion: Okay, to the superstar hockey player.

Vance Carhartt: Well, to the super-hot actress/model.

Blanca Champion: Okay, I've been called worse. But, whatever.

Blanca Champion: Oh, my God. I'm so gonna fucking kill my acting coach.

Lee Tyson: You do not talk to me that way in front of the crew. You finish out the day, after that, you're fired.

Jake Tanner: That's fine, Lee. You know, I've worked with some real difficult people in my career, but you are a whole 'nother breed. And you what else? Nice job sleeping with your assistant. Very classy.

Lee Tyson: Hey, by the way, too bad your fiancée wasn't on the show, Jake. I could've banged her before she moved on to the cast.

Mike: I went through a bunch of trouble to make this fucking show for you. You're gonna watch it with me.

Blanca Champion: I've already seen it. It's a piece of shit!

Lee Tyson: Blanca Champion... all you can think to yourself is why can't this girl get her hands on some decent conditioner... just wash it! I don't get it. Can you explain it?

Nik: Yeah, we have a real special relationship. I mean, how many guys can honestly say they've carried all 28 pieces of her luggage.