Hellkats (2007)

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28 August 2017 | lor_
Badly conceived and executed '50s Nostalgia Porn
Those teen movie of the '50 that frequently populated the nation's Drive- In screens are saluted in Andre Madness's misguided Adam & Eve release a decade back: "Hellkats". Title refers to a gang led by Lee Stone, way too old for his j.d. greaser casting here, and title role is assigned to one of A & E' all-time least appealing contract players, Ava Rose.

As waitress Connie, Rose is a good-girl yearning for thrills, who decides to join the Hellkats gang in order to live it up and revenge herself on her two-timing boyfriend Whitey (Jerry, the big-dicked Euro import stud).

First sex scene depicts the infidelity, as Jerry humps Connie's fellow waitress Susie, played by the cute as a button jail-bait actress Aubrey Addams. (Aubrey is far better in her Lesbian Cinema assignments like the 2009 Nica Noelle classic "My Little Minx", rather than her gonzo work here.)

True star of the production is a beautiful diner set, with convincing period interior and neon facade and parking lot, the two main areas of action beyond the Hellkats headquarters. In-fighting among gang members and a few mini-rumbles are very poorly staged by Madness, losing much of my respect for his work earned by a recent viewing of a quality IR movie he shot back in 2001 for Video Team: "Disturbed".

Despite her star billing, Ava seems vague and perhaps stoned throughout, hardly the sexy, arousing beauty A & E needed for the role. Far better acting is provided in NonSex mode by another waitress, essayed by Lila Azar, who comically seems to be on the verge of seducing another NonSex performer, the ubiquitous Slick Rhodes, typecast as a clueless police detective.

Had this been given an A-list cast, quality '50s songs and a more sincere story line, "Hellkats" could have been a winner instead of one of a hundred junkers lost in A & E's lesser decade after the label changed its moniker from Productions to Pictures and lost sight of its original corner on the Romantic porn market for couples.

Ending (which negates all that's gone before) including especially the inept final shot of Ava the waitress looking bewildered is truly terrible.

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