14 November 2019 | jaredpahl
What's the Worst Movie You've Ever Seen?
The story goes like this...
My brother and I would occasionally make Friday trips to Family Video every couple weeks to pick out a few movies to watch over the weekend. My brother, knowing nothing about movies, would choose DVDs based on their covers exclusively. On one trip, he saw a cover that caught his eye. It was of a basketball player (unknown to him) surrounded by a group of little people. He showed it to me, thinking it looked funny. I rolled my eyes, but agreed. It looked so bizarrely ridiculous, it had to be a riot.
He rented the movie, brought it home and popped it in. I sat in, salivating at the thought of how crazy stupid an obscure comedy starring an ex-rebounding champion nicknamed "The Worm" would be. The next hour and change was shocking. After the first few minutes, I realized that I wasn't laughing. Maybe the jokes don't come until later, I thought. I waited another few minutes. Something's not right. An hour passed, and I realized what was going on. The Minis, the Dennis Rodman midget basketball vehicle, is not a comedy.
Yes, The Minis is a pseudo-heartwarming underdog story about a dwarf basketball team rising from the ashes and overcoming the struggles of strained relationships and social stigmas. And the thing stars Dennis bloody Rodman of all people! I don't know who is responsible for this movie or how it was ever made, but it immediately fascinated me. It seems like a project specifically designed to be the worst thing ever filmed, and somehow, it's even worse than that. A asinine comedy about Dennis Rodman and midgets would have had plenty of cause to be named the WOAT, Worst of All-Time. But to take that premise and turn it into a sincere drama? Pure, delirious, madman insanity.
From that moment, I had a definitive answer to the eternal question, "what is the worst movie you have ever seen?".
The Dennis Rodman midget opus, The Minis.