What Happens in Vegas (2008)
Ashton Kutcher: Jack Fuller
Photos
Quotes
-
Jack Fuller Sr. : You're like a son to me.
Jack Fuller : Dad, I am your son.
-
Jack Fuller : ...We got robbed. All they took was the door.
-
Jack Fuller : [accepting an award] I have to thank my wife Joy. She probably never told you all the story about how we met. It might come as a surprise to many of you that we didn't know each other for very long before we got hitched. What can I say - when you know, you know.
-
Jack Fuller : How hard can it be?
Joy McNally : I know how hard it isn't.
-
Joy McNally : That's just the topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said its movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really wanted was Jack's Sweaty ballsack flavor!
Jack Fuller : I'm just giving you what you want, baby.
-
Joy McNally : The grown-ups have to go to work today... What are you going to do all day?
Jack Fuller : I don't know yet
[shoves cereal in mouth]
Joy McNally : Hmph.
Jack Fuller : I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.
Joy McNally : Words to live by, Yanni.
-
Jack Fuller : If you stop betting, you never have to lose.
Joy McNally : I'd bet on you, Jack.
-
Jack Fuller : [standing outside the bathroom door, knocking on] Hon?
Joy McNally : [from inside the bathroom] Yeah.
Jack Fuller : Fucks you if I just get in there for a sec?
Joy McNally : [doing her hair] I'm almost done. I'll be right out.
Jack Fuller : No, "be right out" is not really gonna work. Like, "be right out right *now*"?
Joy McNally : [taking her time] I'm *almost* done!
Jack Fuller : [jumping outside the door] Ahhh...
Joy McNally : [inside the bathroom, hearing noise of dishes, goes out] Okay, it's...
[walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink]
Jack Fuller : Oh yeah, this is happening. You only have yourself to blame. Oh, by the way, it's your day on dishes.
-
Banger : So you're the lucky guy?
Jack Fuller : Yeah, Jack Fuller
[shakes Banger's hand]
Banger : Hi, i'm Richard Banger, you're in my seat!
Jack Fuller : Hold on a second, your name is Richard Banger?
Banger : Yeah!
Jack Fuller : So your name is Dick Banger! Dick Banger! Dick Banger!, you my friend have supplied us with jokes for the whole weekend.
Banger : And you must be Jack? Jack off! Jack off!, give it to me baby!
[Jack & Banger embrace each other]
Jack Fuller : And the old man is quick enough to think of a comeback
Jack Fuller : Jack off!, I actually like that
-
Jack Fuller : It's like you're trying to come in first, but it's someone else's race.
-
Jack Fuller : [before entering their first marital counseling session] You ready for this?
Joy McNally : Pretend that you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you? Definitely.
-
Jack Fuller : I did take myself out of the game. If you stop betting, you never have to lose.
-
Jack Fuller : Will to be married to me... again?
Joy McNally : [sighs] Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you... again.
[they kiss]
Joy McNally : I quit my job.
Jack Fuller : Good thing we have a ton of money!
-
Jack Fuller : Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater : Community college?
-
Hater : Take him to court. It might be nice.
Jack Fuller : What am I going to do about money?
Hater : Wow, you're just realizing that, right now? Fascinating.
-
Jack Fuller : Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater : Community college?
