G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

I came in with low expectations and got even less. I'm kind of offended that someone got paid to write this because its essentially a big-budget movie made with a fan-fiction caliber script. The plot riddled with holes, characters speak in clichés and the laws of physics are completely ignored. The female characters are treated with the action-movie standard sexism, and there are some subtle racist undertones as well. Seriously, 12-year-old boys write text messages that are more coherent than this script. The screen writers should use their payday to refund the tickets of everyone who went to see this movie.

I'm okay with going a movie just for the special effects, but even that is sub-par. The martial arts choreography is good, and stunning in one scene. The practical effects are believable, but the computer graphics are mostly cartoonish and detract from the visual impact of the film, so its hard to say go see it even if your standard for a good movie is if they blow stuff up in new and interesting ways.

I did enjoy the sheer audacity of its failure. Surely the filmmakers had watched even one movie before and knew they had a piece of Star Wars/James Bond ripoff fan fiction on their hands and just tried to be as bad as possible. This movie has a lot of laughs in it, although probably not where the filmmakers intended.