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  • Greetings again from the darkness. All it took was one look at the cast for me to agree to watch and review this mob film. It's the first feature film from writer-director Jimmy Giannopoulos, and he co-wrote the screenplay with Diomedes Raul Bermudez and Shiloh Fernandez (who also stars). Most will agree the world never really needs another mob movie, but gosh, when they work, they are quite fun to watch. Filmmakers Guy Ritchie and Martin Scorsese have figured this out.

    And then there are those that try hard, but for whatever reason, it doesn't quite click. Sometimes too many characters are crammed in to execute (pun intended) as many familiar mob movie tropes as possible. Director Giannopoulos opens his film with a flashback scene from 10 years ago. The rest of the movie takes place in one evening - one that goes better for some than others. Gio (co-writer Shiloh Fernandez) is dressed in his suit as this is the night "the family" celebrates the death of his father 10 years prior. Gio's mother (Lorraine Bracco) has baked the titular cake, as she has done each of the previous years. She tells Gio she does this "for your father." Gio then sets out to walk the streets of Brooklyn in order to bring the cake to his Uncle Angelo's house for the celebration.

    Gio is good-natured and prefers talking and smiling his way through confrontations, rather than the violent tendencies of those around him. Most of the movie revolves around his interactions along the way - with some friendlies and some not-so-friendlies. It seems his chocolate allergy comes up in conversation enough times that we know it will come into play at some point. If it's not his food allergy, then it's the whereabouts of his Cousin Leo (Emery Cohen) that makes up most of the conversations we hear. Leo is recently out of prison, but hasn't contacted his mother yet ... a real no-no in the family. Leo had previously crossed a Puerto Rican gang and now he's missing - hence all the questions.

    If you come for the story, you'll likely be disappointed. This is more a series of vignettes featuring familiar faces such as Luis Guzman as a concerned Uber driver, William Fichtner as a man with a violent nature, and John Magaro, Aldis Hodge, Ashley Benson, Vincent Pastore (of course), Penn Badgley, Jeremy Allen White, and even Marla Maples (yes, the former Mrs. Trump). Once at the party, Gio meets with an ailing Uncle Carmine played by Paul Sorvino, and best of all, Uncle Angelo played by Val Kilmer. If you have not heard, Mr. Kilmer had throat cancer and now speaks through a voice box. Subtitles are utilized to assist viewers. Watching him act with his eyes and body language is a pleasure, and it's great to have him back on the big screen. The final big name to appear in the film is Ewan McGregor as Father Kelly, who has an early scene with David Mazouz ("Gotham") as young Gio, and a later scene with modern day Gio and his mother.

    We follow Gio in his strange, messy night ... think AFTER HOURS (1985) ... only mob-related, and lacking most of the dark comedic touches. Other than Fernandez, most of the actors are only in a scene or two, so there's a novelty effect that doesn't seem quite right for this genre. Paul Sorvino has only a solitary two-word line of dialogue that starts with an F and ends with you. Still a well-executed crescendo of death and getting to see so many familiar faces in one film makes it worth sticking till the end.

    In theaters and On Demand June 18, 2021.
  • Lots of great stars, playing characters that are not fleshed out at all, and super amateur feel to whole thing. $6.99 was wayyyyy too much to waste on this. If you're curious, wait til it's .99 or free- then it won't hurt as much when it's over.
  • Omg why did I waste so much time watching this to the end, it was completely nonsensical from beginning to the end! From the ridiculous script to the awful acting, really just nonsense!
  • I went into this movie knowing nothing and it was the first movie I watched in the theaters since the end of 2019. I only give it two stars because it is comically bad and I did get a morbid sense of amusement from how bad it was. The soundtrack conflicts with the images on screen often and there are these jarring guitar stings that come incrementally that blow your ears out. They got a cast with some names and it comes across as if they all only chose to do it on the condition that they only would have to show up for one day. It comes across as lazy and it also has a bunch of plot lines that never crescendo to anything, it just pads time. I don't know who this movie is for, but if you want a good laugh from a bad movie then this is the one for you.
  • The story does not make sense because things are very poorly explained. I don't understand a thing they are trying to convey. I watched this for Ewan McGregor, and he is in it for one minute. A huge disappointment.
  • leokeeley18 June 2021
    A waste of a good cast. I'd love to see a breakdown of the economics behind this (i.e. How much it took for reputable actors to attach their names to this project).
  • I was quite excited when I saw the list of actors and couldn't believe I had not heard of this film. Now I know why. What a stinker it is.

    This movie makes no sense whatsoever...just random acts of violence all over the place with no explanation. I thought we would get it sorted at the end since the Storyline indicated Gio's 'life is changed after witnessing murder, violence' etc and 'the truth about what happened to his father'. I saw the violence but I must be a bit slow because I have no idea what happened to Gio's father or why...or what the truth is. I don't even know why the other actors' lives end...how they are connected to each other...how they are connected to Gio or his father....or what they are involved in...I am quite serious...This film is BAD.
  • Dragged on, lots of fluff, cameos and then when you thought it was all coming together...credits

    Don't bother...
  • How they managed to pull that cast together an produce such a steaming pile of effluent..... script is terrible, cliches abound and the storyline drags on to to a not believable ending.
  • SnoopyStyle4 February 2022
    Gio (Shiloh Fernandez) is bringing a birthday cake to a gathering of his family of criminals. His mother had made the cake special. His father died 10 years ago and the cake is dedicated to his late father's birthday.

    I like the turn. It's a big swing. I appreciate big swings even if it ends in a foul ball. That's what we have here. The swing is hard and the effort is there. In the end, it's a close miss. With such a big turn, the movie needs to set it up better. Quite frankly, I had to rewatch the first part. First of all, the father is not set up at all. The audience may require some father son time. Second, Gio actually has little to do with the cake. It would be more compelling if he's the one who specialized the cake. It's more retroactively compelling. There are a lot of big acting talents here but they are not filling out the screen. The style is deliberate indie and those star power is somehow diminished. This is a near miss but sometimes, those can be interesting.
  • Totally zero i.regret.for every secound waste it for this shhhhhi****
  • Warning: Spoilers
    2021's The Birthday Cake is my latest write-up. The film's title refers to an actual cake that is taken to a memorial celebration. Said cake is also sort of metaphoric. I mean it's literally like an antagonistic co-star.

    So OK, The Birthday Cake surprised me considering how much the other critics panned it. My question is how is this flick overlooked? Yeah it's mob-related and well, mob-licious. But it also plays out like a living nightmare, a sort of horror talkie if you will.

    "Cake" stars Shiloh Fernandez and he heads up a well-known cast of at least 5 people who appeared in Goodfellas (I'm not kidding). Fernandez is the anchor here and his screen presence is indeed bruising. It's like 1972's Michael Corleone appeared out of nowhere with well, a little facial hair.

    Speaking of Goodfellas and Mean Streets and um, Uncut Gems, The Birthday Cake is like a compact version of all three of them. Rookie director Jimmy Giannopoulos (I'll just call him Jimmy G) gets his camera right up in the actor's grills. His pace is frantic and claustrophobic as it feels like everyone is filmed in a freaking tin can.

    Ewan McGregor, Val Kilmer, Lorraine Bracco, and Luis Guzman are just a handful of side characters in Jimmy G's cowed, blistering vision. They're mere sycophants in the film's 93-minute running time but you like seeing them on screen anyway. Heck, it's good catching up with Kilmer considering what the dude has gone through. Val plays a mafia boss who I guess got shot in the throat and can't talk properly. In real life Kilmer suffered through throat cancer and uses a tracheotomy to get the words out. Man that's some mindful casting.

    All in all, "Cake's" only criticism from me is that the film is rather short with so many familiar faces fading in and out. I mean Shiloh's Gio is the only one that registers from a full, narrative standpoint. Oh well. Any snapshot of beastly thug life caught on camera is better than no snapshot at all. The Birthday Cake is the type of violent crime drama that gets under your skin and seeps into your bloodstream. For a little over an hour and a half, I had my "cake" and ate it too.
  • I decided to watch this movie because Penn Badgley. The movie was about a boy name Gio attending a celebration for his fathers 10th death anniversary at Mob boss Angelo house and he was responsible for bringing the yearly traditional cake his mother makes. On the other hand, his cousin Leo had everyone in the neighborhood looking for him because he got caught by the feds transporting drugs and world on the streets he was a rat. In my opinion, we needed more of a back story to why Gio's father was killed and what was the purpose behind Sophia killing the mob family ..
  • garethharkin21 June 2021
    Shockingly awful! Val Kilmer character is laughable.
  • One of the worst, most amateur, cliched 'mob' representations I've ever seen! Save yourself from fast forwarding through this tripe. Intrusive sound drowning out dialogue (probably just as well really!); glacial progress of protagonist as he e.g. Puts on a shirt; takes cake to party... and to top it all an embarrassing 'cool priest' cameo from Ewan McGregor (ahem... artistic integrity?). Dear, oh dear.
  • FilthyRicher12 March 2022
    2/10
    Awful
    Worst movie in 10 years. Made it through, but it was the pits. Made no sense whatsoever, the plot is non existent..just a guy walking around with a cake.
  • If you read the synopsis of this movie you will think that you know what to expect. Wrong.

    The editor should be put out to grass and possibly the director also

    The premise is fine. The actors are good and could be great.

    The result is very disappointing because a tighter script and better backing track could have resulted in a decent film

    We suspect that the editor's first language is not English. Otherwise, the finished product is inexplicable.
  • podgeymufc9 July 2022
    1/10
    Avoid
    Rumour has it hes still walking around with that cake, awful movie. Truely pathetic. How its rated 5 stars on sky cinema is beyond me. Avoid at all costs.
  • The directors/writers had the acting talent and even a story line to Tweak the script which needed tweaking. I watched until 40mins left and still none of the major actors yet to show their faces in this movie,

    Story buildup far too slow, writing and directing was awful.
  • Fans of mafia movies will like Birthday Cake. It's a simple story, and it doesn't take long for you get invested in the main character, Gio. The cast is stacked with a bunch of talent, And I had a good time watching it.

    The editing is a bit sketchy and the sound quality is atrocious. I had a hard time understanding the dialogue so I had to turn on the subtitles.

    I mainly wanted to leave a review to score it fairly for those with an open mind. It's much better than a 3 or 4 out of 10 like IMDb has it scored. The talented cast alone makes it worth watching. Check it out.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    I saw a promo. It mentioned the "birthday cake." I think "Godfather 3." That's it. This movie is a bad copy of every bad mob movie ever made. A waste of time. The writing is high-school stuff. I can't believe that Luis Guzman couldn't get a better gig.
  • vinipinto27 June 2021
    Great cast and great performances!! Big Hollywood names supporting a whole new generation of phenomenal actors, writers and producers! Loved it!
  • I think we expected more. This is the kind of film that follows mob family movies like Godfather and Sopranos -- even some of the same actors -- and a lot less happens than we'd wish, and it's not as clever as it wishes. Excellent quality overall but for me the blandness of the story makes it a waste of a great group of talent.
  • Just terrible. A dude wanders around with a cake encountering scumbags for 90 minutes, and then it ends. Guzman's scene was funny, McGregor was in it for about 30 seconds. Do not waste your time.
  • lmsmith-1675023 September 2021
    1/10
    Trash
    Complete dumpster fire of a film. This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life and I'm not exaggerating. I hated this movie so much that I felt compelled to get back online just to make sure it got an accurate review.
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