Billy: I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. We've been together for so long. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you.

Randy Marlow: Don't worry, Billy. Hollywood is only two thousand miles away, and I'm only as far away as a phone call.

Randy Marlow: [checking out his bedroom at the academy] There's two guys - with one bed? Oh, great.

Brian: By the expression on your face, you've never seen a naked body before?

Randy Marlow: Well, I'm kind of old-fashioned, being from Kansas an all. Uh, don't see many naked people.

Tony: So what do you think of our latest addition to the Crawford Academy?

Steven Alexander: I think he's dynamite. Can hardly wait to fuck his tight little ass.

Randy Marlow: If any of you need anything, just let me know and I'll be more than happy to give it to you.

[Mr. Richards looks away with an "Oh, my" expression]

Steven Alexander: By the way, uh, where's Brian this evening?

Randy Marlow: Oh, he had a date.

Steven Alexander: Oh, that's a shame. I was really hoping to introduce him to Mr. Richards.

Mr. Richards: I'm sure there'll be other occasions, Steven.

Steven Alexander: Just the same, he should be more responsible. He promised me that tonight he would come.

Randy Marlow: Wow! What a first day! I never been to a school like this before. They had me do things like I had never imagined.

Brian: Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been fucked so many time here I feel like you could drive a mack truck up my ass.

Newland Devereaux: Okay, for the first scene I would like you, Toby, to go down on Randy.

Toby Reese: Okay. Yes, sir, but, uh, is my makeup all right?

Newland Devereaux: Yes, Miss Stanwick. Just suck the dick.

Newland Devereaux: What's wrong, Randy? A soft dick does not a happy director make.

Randy Marlow: I'm sorry, Mr. Devereaux. I will try harder.

Newland Devereaux: And harder, and harder, and harder.

Newland Devereaux: [directing a porno film] Oh, that is terrific. That is absolutely terrific. Oh! Oh! Oh, it's breathtaking, breathtaking. You're such a good cock-sucker. Breathtaking. Breathtaking.

Newland Devereaux: [directing a porno film] Money in the bank. Money in the bank. It's fantastic.

[last lines]

Randy Marlow: It's so good to be home.

Billy: I'm so glad that you're back. I missed ya.

Randy Marlow: And don't worry. I'll always be with you.

Billy: You mean you're moving back?

Randy Marlow: No. I just had Sprint installed in my condo in Hollywood. Now I can call you more often and save fifty percent.