Gloria Conway
Billy Conway
Larry Conway
Ray Conway
Mrs. Smolensky
Doug Post
Dottie Post
Katrina Post
Tiny Post
Bob
Becky
Louise
Connie Conway-Kellywood (as Katrina Retalick)
Ricky Kellywood
Officer Passman
Officer Barret
Gene Conway
Linda Conway
Young Billy
Young Gene
Young Larry
Young Doug
Narrator (voice)
Marriage Celebrant (as John Keightly)
Bingo Caller
Bingo Lady
Young Man at Bingo
Nouse Matron
Young Nurse
Mr. Smolensky
Officer johnson