[repeated line]

Various: Fuck you Chelios!

Chico: You like sushi, Chinese man?

[Johnny laughs]

Johnny Vang: That's Japanese, El Torito. Chinese don't eat that shit.

Chev Chelios: [catches up with Johnny Vang after chase] Did I just drop some change

[grabs Johnny Vang by neck]

Chev Chelios: or did I hear a chink?

Chev Chelios: I lost the belt battery, doc.

Doc Miles: How long ago?

Chev Chelios: Over an hour.

Doc Miles: Jesus Christ, that's not fucking possible Chevy! You should be dead... fine, nevermind.

Chev Chelios: [before crashing in limousine] Chicken and broccoli.

Chev Chelios: [while Chico pisses on him] Massive homo cunt!

Doc Miles: Confucius say, "Karma's a bitch".

Chinese Doctor 1: [following exchange the two Chinese doctors was in Chinese possibly Mandarin/Cantonese.Subtitles shown] How long can we keep him alive?

Chinese Doctor 2: Maybe long time.He die hard with a vengeance.

Chinese Doctor 1: Big Boss need to harvest his cornucopia of organs for later. Lungs,pancreas,bladder...

Chinese Doctor 2: What comes out next?

Chinese Doctor 1: Boss gave specific order.

[the doctor takes out a diagram of a body showing all the organs they are going to take out and circles Chev's penis as the next thing to be removed.At this point Chev is looking at the diagram and realizes whats going on]

Chev Chelios: Fuck that.

[Chev proceeds to beat the crap out of the two doctors]

Ria: [to Triad, about Chev] This dude my Kevin Costner! He going to beat you off!

Cypress Triad Hood #1: What?

Chev Chelios: Where's Johnny Vang?

Cypress Triad Hood #1: You looking to get your ass killed dawg?

Ria: You ask for it, he's gonna tap your ass!

Chev Chelios: Wrong expression.

Chev Chelios: [upon seeing guys using a shock collar on their dog] You pair of sausage nigels! How do you sleep at night?

Ria: [to Chev] You are my shiny lunch box.

Doc Miles: Chev, I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I was. Lost my license after I fucked up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is - if you get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.

Venus: You're Chev Chelios, right? The sickest, most wicked-ist motherfucker that ever vaporized motherfuckers in cold-blood, right?

Chev Chelios: Yeah, that's me.

Glenda Lansing: He treated me like his hot little whore.

Chinese Doctor 1: [after Johnny puts his cigarette ash in Chev's open chest] Get your cigarette out of here asshole! We're operating!

Johnny Vang: So sorry.

Chinese Doctor 1: Fuck your mother! I let boss know you shit in Superman's stomach. Dumb ass!

Johnny Vang: I said I was sorry.

[Johnny laughs and then spits into Chev's chest]

Ria: [to Chev] You need me like Whitney Houston dude!

Don Kim: [to Chev, about Venus] Your friend has the gay condition.

Chev Chelios: [looking into Johnny's cooler] What is that? What kind of sick freak carries around something like this in a box? I am shocked to my fuckin' core. You have got some big problems, motherfucker. What the fuck is that?

[Doc Miles' cell phone rings]

Doc Miles: Hello, Doc Miles.

Chev Chelios: Yeah, Doc. It's Chev.

[Doc Miles spits out his drink and ice shaking his head rapidly]

Doc Miles: Jesus H. Chelios! You've gotta be kidding me!

Male Porn Star: [referring to Eve while at the strike] I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!

Low Rider #1: Damn, dog. You good, ese?

Chev Chelios: Tiger fucking Woods. Never better. Greatest day of my fucking life.

Chev Chelios: Fucking useless.

Venus: Yeah? Well, you ain't no Ralph Macchio yourself, Chev!

Chev Chelios: Just juice me!

Poon Dong: [to Asian women] Hey, I got five dollars says you blow me for twenty bucks.

Johnny Vang: You can't look in that box!

Randy: You want me to drop the hammer?

[gets thrown onto a parked car by Eve]

Chev Chelios: [Holding Ricky's head] Why do we keep going on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other?

Ricky Verona: [Weakly] Water...

Chev Chelios: H20? Coming right up!

[Kicks Ricky's head into the nearby pool]

Chev Chelios: [Holding Ricky's head] Why do we keep going on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other all the time?

Ricky Verona: [Weakly] Water...

Chev Chelios: H20? Coming right up!

[Kicks Ricky's head into the nearby pool]

Doc Miles: Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?

Long Beach Nose Punch Triad: [points a two tone Springfield XD pistol at Chev] Lost?

Chev Chelios: Nope.

[parries the gun out of the gunman's hand and slams his forearm in his face knocking him out]

Don Kim: You know what you are, Chev Chelios?

Chev Chelios: Tell me.

Don Kim: You... are a shit magnet.

Talk Show Host: [referring to Chev] Tell me what he's like when he's at home.

Karen Chelios: When he's home, he's like a ghost. He plays those video games; all day, all night.

Talk Show Host: Video games.

Karen Chelios: All day.

Talk Show Host: And you let him do that? Well, you did buy the games for him, yeah?

Karen Chelios: Of course. Why should I deny my son?

Talk Show Host: Chev, where's dad?

Young Chev: I never met the wanker. He died before I was born.

Talk Show Host: What do you think he'd say, if he saw you acting out like this?

Young Chev: Dunno, sir.

Talk Show Host: If he were here now, and he asked you "WHY THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO SON?", what would you tell him?

Young Chev: Dunno, sir! Bored, I guess.

Chev Chelios: [after being told by Doc Miles about finding someone to rub against, he starts rubbing a spectator's arm and the spectator pushes him off] Terrific race.

[Points to the horse he picked]

Chev Chelios: That's a great horse, mate.

[continues rubbing his arm]

Hollywood Park Guy: What the fuck, man? What the fuck?

Chev Chelios: You did it! Mate, that was all you.

Psychiatrist: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You gotta go out and enjoy it. Knock back a couple of beers, hit a titty bar.

Doctor: Excuse me?

Psychiatrist: Have some smelly snatch rubbed in your face. You gotta get out there, man.

Doctor: Yeah, I've gotta do it.

Psychiatrist: Tackle a fucking whore, get your dick wet. Dip your wick into life a little bit. Have some fun.

Doctor: Yeah. I'm gonna go out there and floss my teeth with some pubes.

Psychiatrist: Oh, now you're on it.

Doctor: I'm done with fear. My life begins today.

[a stray bullet finds the doctor's head and kills him instantly while the psychiatrist pukes]

Chev Chelios: A man who calls himself The Ferret.

Venus: El Huron.

Chev Chelios: You know him?

Venus: No. It means The Ferret in Spanish.

Ria: What the fuck? I'm clean like baby!

Chev Chelios: What's that? Fucking Cunt-a-nese?

Chev Chelios: Where's my fucking pumper?

[first lines]

Fish Halman: In a story so bizarre I can scarcely believe the event I'm reporting, and yet corroborated by at least a dozen eye witnesses. A white male apparently fell from the sky above downtown Los Angeles today, landed in the middle of a busy intersection, destroying one vehicle and hospitalising its elderly driver,and then was removed from the scene even before emergency personnel could respond. Without a body the police have yet to piece together the events of the day.It can only be described as implausible. Reports of a second body landing in the Boyle Heights area have yet to be confirmed, and are being treated as the bullshit they most likely are.

Chev Chelios: Who's got my fucking strawberry tart?

Karen Chelios: I tried to give him Ritalin, but...

Talk Show Host: Chev?

Young Chev: I sold it.

Ria: No fucky sucky for you asshole!

Ria: You want sticky me?

[starts humping Chev]

Chev Chelios: Alright, Chow Mein. Who do you work for?

Shot Gun Triad: Fuck you, Chelios!

[Chev whacks him with the butt of the shotgun]

Chev Chelios: Fucking grunt.

[dips shotgun barrel in oil, pulls down the thug's pants, and shoves the shotgun up his ass]

Chev Chelios: You found me in quite an unpleasant mood this morning, mate. Now I'm going to ask you this question one time. Who's got my fucking strawberry tart?

[the thug looks at him confused and Chev points to his heart while an on-screen subtitle says "strawberry tart=heart"]

Chev Chelios: Capische?

[the thug starts stuttering]

Chev Chelios: J-j-j-j-just spit the fucking name out!

[sticks the shotgun further up the thug's ass and starts wiggling it]

Shot Gun Triad: Johnny Vang!

Chev Chelios: Johnny fucking Vang? Johnny fucking Vang? Good boy. Where?

Shot Gun Triad: Cypress Social Club!

Chev Chelios: Cypress-Cypress Social Club? Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?

[thug nods head]

Chev Chelios: Good boy. Thanks for coming. Now you can keep that.

[leaves the shotgun up the thug's ass and walks away]

Ria: [Ria discovers Chev and Eve embracing in the Strip Club] Who the fuck crack bitch?... Take your slutty paws off my handsome!

Donut Cop #2: This is a weird scene; we've got pissed off beaver-hoover. I'm in pursuit.