She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV Series)
A Normal Amount of Rage (2022)
Tatiana Maslany: Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk
Photos
Quotes
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Jennifer Walters : It's just so sad. Steve Rogers did so much for his country and he never got to experience sex.
[Jennifer continues sobbing]
Jennifer Walters : Did you see that ass? Like, that ass did not
[sobs]
Jennifer Walters : deserve to die a virgin. It's, like, so sad.
[Jennifer downs a large drink]
Smart Hulk : [sighs] Steve Rogers is not a virgin. He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO tour.
[Jennifer puts down her drink]
Jennifer Walters : [smiles, brightening] Yes! I knew it.
Smart Hulk : You're not drunk?
Jennifer Walters : Captain America fu...
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She-Hulk : [breaking the fourth wall for the first time] Yes, it's true. I am a Hulk. And I'm guessing you won't be able to focus on this fun lawyer show until you know all about that. So let me get you up to speed. A few months ago, I went on a road trip with my cousin Bruce. Yes, *that* Bruce.
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Smart Hulk : You okay?
Jennifer Walters : Wait. Did we hit a spaceship?
Smart Hulk : Yeah. Sakaaran Class-Eight courier craft. Probably trying to deliver a message. I gotta get to the bottom of that. You know, weird stuff just kinda finds you when you're a Hulk. But first, we gotta deal with you.
Jennifer Walters : Me? What happened to me? I changed.
Smart Hulk : Look. I'm sorry. I tried to warn you. My blood got into your system, and after the wreck, you got a lethal dose of gamma radiation.
Jennifer Walters : Lethal? As in I'm gonna die?
Smart Hulk : No, there is more to it that I'm going to explain.
Jennifer Walters : That is not the sentence to take a pause on, Bruce!
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Smart Hulk : Okay. Look. Look. You and I, we share a rare combination of genetic factors that allow us to synthesize gamma radiation into something else.
Jennifer Walters : So I turn into a Hulk now, too.
Smart Hulk : I've been analyzing your blood. And the way it synthesized gamma, I was able to use it to completely heal my arm.
Jennifer Walters : Oh. Because I'm better than you?
Smart Hulk : Mmm. It's basically different.
Jennifer Walters : In a better way.
Smart Hulk : In conclusion, my arm is healed and now I'm able to be my fully integrated self again.
Jennifer Walters : Smug Hulk.
Smart Hulk : Smart Hulk.
Jennifer Walters : Well, it's pretty smug to call yourself smart.
Smart Hulk : I didn't come up with it.
Jennifer Walters : You use it. Implied endorsement.
Smart Hulk : Don't lawyer me.
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She-Hulk : Okay, so how do I turn back into Jen? How did you do it?
Smart Hulk : Usually, I fall out of a jet or get knocked out by a robot, and I'd wake up as Banner. Or Natasha, for a little while, would tell me a lullaby.
She-Hulk : Walk me through how that worked, again.
Smart Hulk : I don't have a great explanation for it.
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Smart Hulk : Wow. An apology that still doubles down on the thing you're apologizing for. That's very lawyerly.
Jennifer Walters : Yeah, I'm a much better lawyer than I am a Hulk.
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[as Jennifer sleeps, Smart Hulk slowly brings an airhorn next to her head. He squeezes it, the horn blares next to Jennifer's head, causing a Hulk-out. Because of her sudden change in figure, her bed collapses in half]
She-Hulk : Whoa, Jesus! What the hell, man?
Smart Hulk : [taking notes] Still in control, no overwhelming feelings of rage?
She-Hulk : [shouting] No, a normal amount of rage!
Smart Hulk : You do revert back to Jen-form when you sleep.
She-Hulk : Was the airhorn really necessary?
Smart Hulk : [smiling] For comedy, absolutely.
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Jennifer Walters : What is the responsibility of those with power? Do they merely have an obligation to refrain from the misuse of that power? Or do they have a duty to protect those without it?
Dennis Bukowski : [interrupting] Two rhetorical questions.
Jennifer Walters : The defendant used their limitless resources, political and monetary, for financial gain at the expense of public safety, causing the deaths of innocent people.
Dennis Bukowski : [still interrupting] It's so wordy.
Jennifer Walters : They did this because they believed they would not be held accountable. That their power shielded them from very real consequences. But today, you, the jury, can prove that's not the case.
Dennis Bukowski : [interrupting yet again] More smiles.
Jennifer Walters : Show them that they will be held accountable, because those with the most power have the most to answer for.
Nikki Ramos : And you win the case!
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Bruce Banner : What's up with this? Cheetos and chopsticks?
Jennifer Walters : Yes. So you don't get Cheetos fingers.
Bruce Banner : My God. That's really smart.
Jennifer Walters : You're not the only genius in the family.
Bruce Banner : No, there's also Ched.
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Smart Hulk : Dialectical behavioral therapy. It allows us to hold two opposing truths at the same time. First, we're gonna practice some mindfulness with a few yoga techniques.
Jennifer Walters : Wow. I never thought you'd be into all this mind-body-spirit stuff.
Smart Hulk : Dialectical behavioral therapy is an evidence-based psychotherapy. It's clinical, not spiritual.
Jennifer Walters : Let your thought drift away, relax your neck, bend your knees if that's comfortable, hold in your farts. Namaste, all day.
Smart Hulk : It's more about presence. About accepting the situation you're in.
Jennifer Walters : Oh, I thought it was about getting my butt tight as hell. Up top.
Smart Hulk : Gross, Jen, I'm your cousin. Just close your eyes and breathe, all right.
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[Jennifer is inside a chamber, strapped with a helmet, with Smart Hulk observing her]
Jennifer Walters : I thought the point was to prevent me from turning into a Hulk.
Smart Hulk : These transformations are triggered by distressed, emotional states. So we need to know the exact threshold that causes it for you. The triggers are anger and fear.
Jennifer Walters : Those are like the baseline of any woman just existing.
Smart Hulk : Alright, then let's try this.
[He presses a button which unleashes a wall of saws inside the chamber with Jennifer]
Jennifer Walters : [panicking] Bruce! It kinda feels like if I don't transform, I'm gonna die! Do you have a plan B for that?
Smart Hulk : Ha, nope.
Jennifer Walters : No? Ah! Not funny, Bruce!
[She tears off the helmet on her head]
Jennifer Walters : What? You're just gonna kill me? Come on!
Smart Hulk : Put on the helmet, we need the data!
[the wall of saws come even closer]
Jennifer Walters : [eyes bulging in fear] What do you normally use this chamber for, you psychopath?
[She covers her eyes; suddenly two very large green arms smash the wall and pushes it back where it started. Jennifer has successfully Hulked out]
Smart Hulk : [thumbs up] Yes! Yes. Yes.
[She-Hulk growls and turns towards the door, tearing it loose]
Smart Hulk : No! No!
[He backs away as She-Hulk breaks free from the chamber and approaches him, roaring angrily]
Smart Hulk : Easy, girl! Easy! Easy.
[Suddenly, the rage and anger disappear from She-Hulk's face]
She-Hulk : Why are you talking to me like I'm a stray horse?
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Smart Hulk : But whether you like it or not, you're now a superhero. And who's going to protect the world if it isn't people like us?
Jennifer Walters : Are you quoting a comic book right now?
Smart Hulk : Yeah.
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Jennifer Walters : You're Hulk again.
Smart Hulk : Smart Hulk.
Jennifer Walters : Wow.
Smart Hulk : Yeah. I didn't come up with it. You never have a choice with these names.
Jennifer Walters : Where are we?
Smart Hulk : Mexico. Don't worry. I talked to your parents. They know we're okay. This is where I spent The Blip fixing myself and integrating the Hulk-Banner identities.
Jennifer Walters : In this tiny beach house lab.
Smart Hulk : Yeah. Tony built it for me a few years ago. Tony Stark.
Jennifer Walters : Oh, right, right, right.
Smart Hulk : He used to joke that it was a loaner, and that one day he'd just swing by and take it back.
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Jennifer Walters : Here's the thing, Bruce. I'm great at controlling my anger. I do it all the time. When I'm catcalled in the street. When incompetant men explain my own area of expertise to me. I do it pretty much every day because if I don't I will be called emotional or difficult or... might just literally get murdered. So, I'm an expert at controlling my anger because I do infinitely more than you!
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Jennifer Walters : My theory. Steve Rogers did not have a girlfriend before he went into the service.
Bruce Banner : Says who?
Jennifer Walters : The History Channel. So he becomes Captain America. And from that moment on, a symbol of America. He is rushed to the front lines. He becomes a war hero. Then he is frozen in ice. So based on everything you've told me, after he gets unfrozen, he goes from world-threatening disaster to world-threatening disaster. That's when he's not a fugitive from the law, right? So it seems like he was pretty, pretty busy.
Bruce Banner : All you're doing is repeating everything that I've already told you about my friend and colleague.
Jennifer Walters : Obviously, Captain America was a virgin.
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[Smart Hulk and Jennifer are back to doing dialectical behavioral therapy]
Smart Hulk : [meditating] Hear the waves breaking.
[inhales]
Smart Hulk : Feel the breaths. No judgment.
[inhales again]
Jennifer Walters : So, when do you think I can leave here?
Smart Hulk : [annoyed] Let's just focus on each day as they come, Jen.
Jennifer Walters : I mean, I legitimately do have a life to get back to.
Smart Hulk : I know I've been pushing you through a lot, but being a superhero is a trial by fire.
Jennifer Walters : Bruce, I'm not going to be a superhero.
Smart Hulk : What else ya gonna do as a Hulk?
Jennifer Walters : Return to my career that I have spent years building, use my law degree that I'm still paying off a fortune in student loans for.
Smart Hulk : It's not one or the other, Jen. I am trying to show you that we can live between what we want and what is. But we can't pretend like we aren't two of the few people on Earth that can actually protect her; which is why we have to make sure of your ability to tolerate the stress and regulate your emotions, especially your anger.
Jennifer Walters : Here's the thing, Bruce. I'm great at controlling my anger. I do it all the time. When I'm catcalled in the street, when incompetent men explain my own area of expertise to me. I do it pretty much every day because if I don't, I will get called emotional, or difficult, or might just literally get murdered.
[becoming more aggressive]
Jennifer Walters : So I'm an expert at controlling my anger because I do it infinitely more than you! So all of this just feels like you're projecting a lot of shit onto me!
[as she gets angrier, Jennifer transforms into She-Hulk]
Smart Hulk : See?
She-Hulk : No, I'm doing this.
[as quickly as before, She-Hulk transforms back into Jennifer]
Smart Hulk : Okay, this is completely new territory.
Jennifer Walters : [stands] Looks like I've outgrown your binder, cuz. Love you, Bruce, but I'm going home.
[Jennifer leaves]
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Smart Hulk : Dick move.
Jennifer Walters : I learned it from you.
