6 July 2013 | jm10701
Like having fingernails pulled out
How do I get it all into just 1000 words? Having read some negative reviews before watching the movie, I set out to prove them wrong. I can't. This is a TERRIBLE movie! I'll just list a few of its most glaring flaws:
(1) The dialog is about half in unintelligible English, half in Armenian; the DVD subtitles translate Armenian into English but leave us to struggle alone through mumbled English and VERY heavily accented and garbled Armenglish; the closed captions do the opposite, giving the English dialog ONLY; all through the movie I had to switch back and forth between subtitles and closed captions as the characters switched between Armenian and English; it was infuriating.
(2) ALL of the dialog is stilted, pretentious, moronic crap, but EVEN WORSE than the dialog is the mind-bogglingly stupid pseudo-mythological narration read by poor Peter Coyote, who must be desperate for work.
(3) In some scenes, extremely shallow depth of field and oblique angles caused the camera to have to shift focus constantly, which completely ruined whatever was going on and gave me a headache; it was most noticeable when Will was writing an email, but the focus shifting happened pretty often; maybe it was supposed to be artistic, but it was just distracting.
(4) Ben Foster is TERRIBLY - and I do mean TERRIBLY - miscast in this movie, and he seems to be angry about it all the way through. I have never seen such obvious discomfort IN EVERY SCENE from any actor in any movie. It's like watching him sulk for two hours. Besides making the whole movie irritating, his extreme discomfort kills whatever chemistry there is supposed to be between his Will and Lubna Azabal's Gadarine.
(5) Braden King is an untalented narcissist. He should NEVER be allowed to make another movie! Maybe he can get a job at Burger King in some small town I'll never have to visit.