25 April 2017 | lor_
Insulting A&E feature promoting gonzo/hating narrative
The anonymous cretins who made "1 Night in Jail" repeatedly try for humor in superimposed jokey captions, mocking the feature's crude production and its lack of story values. It amounts to a terrible 2-hour exercise promoting all-sex gonzo content and telling a willing audience that nothing else matters - indicative of the decline in quality of the once mighty Adam & Eve label.
It's fairly embarrassing, exemplified by an opening sex vignette in which the unknown actress Faye Runaway (a flat-chested young blonde) plays "Some Chick" per the credits and is humped by arresting officer Det. "Dick Dangle" (big-dicked Mark Ashley) when he stops her car driven by Aurora Snow (as "Penis Holdin"", hearty-har-har).
Ashley's mustache is among the phoniest in movie history, though the captions insist it's real. It falls off two or three times but per the movie's dictum, all that matters is that Faye is humped.
The claustrophobic cheapie is shot entirely in the studio, with the cheapest of unconvincing jail sets used. Besides Aurora getting f*cked in her cell, Rebeca Linares is serviced by guard Lee Stone in the next cell over, and the show is so slapdash he isn't even given a uniform to wear, just his street clothes. Evan Stone lowers himself to playing "Wolfbang F*ck", with a pillow under his shirt for some reason, serving his dick on a platter (how amusing and original!) to Snow.
Afterthought subplot has Snow shooting a sex tape, in which she suddenly appears on another set (captioned as being the Penthouse Prison Cell) for a lengthy lesbian scene with Jessica Valentino. Several dildos are used here, including a statuette - which might have been funny had it been an Oscar in a mock-Hollywood movie.
A wordy on-screen crawl informs us that the filmmakers have run out of money and ideas, so the final vignette has no set-up or non-sex content, just tacked on as filler. Even the "All Improv" which is the screen credit for writing is abandoned, as cute Maya Hills sucks Mario Rossi's cock and humps him, Rossi's face never shown via POV camera-work.
It rarely gets any worse than this.