As of late, the parody movies genre is pretty bad. With film franchises like the Scary Movie, and National Lampoons, the parody movie has been getting dumber and dumber. Makes you miss for the days of Naked Gun, Mel Brooks, and Monty Python, all pretty dumb movies, but at less had some smart humor. Even with rock-bottom expectations, I was disappointed by this film. Stan Helsing barely had anything laughable. The film is about video store clerk Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) whom with his friends must make a routine video delivery on Halloween night. Steve Howey doesn't really stand out in this role. I mistake him for Josh Duhamel for the longest time. His friends are some of the most annoying, dumb, stereotype characters, I have ever saw. There is the comic relief sidekick, Teddy (Kenan Thompson) who plays one of the blandest side character guy ever. You would thought for a guy that use to be in ALL That and Saturday Night Live skits, that they would use him as a character actor in this movie, but no. There were a lot of background or side characters that could had use his odd sense of humor. Then there is the love- interest, ex-girlfriend Nadine (Dioare Baird) who really doesn't do much, but act sexy. Then last is the dumb blonde slutty girl, Mia (Desi Lydrics) who changes costumes several time throughout the movie. Instead of a normal drive, Stan and the gang find themselves in Stormy Night Estates facing a group of form of parodies of movie monster icons. It's not even the monster monsters that the normal Van Helsing would had face anyways such as Frankenstein or Dracula. The film has nothing to do with Van Helsing at all. The movie itself, isn't much of a parody of anything. It had barley any plot-line. Even the movie return plot-line kinda drop off the face off the world, half way in. Throughout the film we are not sure what the film is parodying. It even parody things outside of Halloween themes. It's just tries too hard to fill in as much dumb pop culture 1980's and 1990's slasher films parodies targets. You know, for a movie made in the late 2000's, you would think this movie would have some more modern pop culture humor. Well, the others were pretty dumb like dark jokes like killing women and dogs, overt sexual jokes that goes flat, frat boy toilet humor that was a bit mean-spirited. It usually made at the expense of the female characters. The group keep doing stupid things that become very irritating than funny. Even the pun writing is pretty bad. The knockoffs of famous franchise horror villains are named Lucky, Mason, Michael Criers, Pleatherface, Fweddy and Needlehead. Seriously, was this the best, the writer/directed Bo Zenda could come up with? It's weird in a way that Stan Helsing is Rated R, but there's nothing in this film that would earn it anything above a PG-13. There isn't that much gore. The language was that harsh. Most of the nudity, was left on the cutting room floor. Those extended sequences are included in the bonus features if you want to see them. I have a pretty high tolerance for intentionally stupid comedies, and have more fondness for potty humor than most other people would probably admit to. But even by those standards, this movie is dull, boring, and worst of all, unfunny. The only things going for this self-proclaimed horror film parody are decent production values and attractive actresses. Not even, parody king Leslie Nielsen can save this movie with his mediocre small cameo as a cross-dresser waitress. I think if they had some better talented actors, and a witty storyline, maybe this film could had work. 2011's Cabin in the Woods was a pretty good satire simply because it was made by people who knew the genre and lovingly made fun of its flaws. This was made to capitalize on way more popular horror movies that, the writers barely knew anything about. For 90 minutes, this movie gave a sad attempt of parody that is better used for internet shorts. There is small smarter Halloween type parodies on Youtube better than this film that people have produce with less money. It just prove that these movies are more cash-in shlocks than real movies. If you really feel the need to watch this flick, rent it. I warn you.
