Horton Hears a Who!/Never Back Down/10,000 B.C./Funny Games/Paranoid Park/Conspiracy

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Folks, as sure as a higher power gave Richard a slight case of laryngitis last week for interrupting his guest host once too often, that same supreme being is gonna make ME pay for enjoying "10,000 B.C." It's the latest from schlockmeister Roland Emmerich, starring Steven Strait as a warrior who looked like he stepped off a magazine cover; the magazine being "Saber Tooth Tiger Beat". Now, according to the movie website Rotten Tomatoes.com, only seven percent of the nation's reviewers recommended "10,000 B.C.". That means nearly twice as many critics preferred "College Road Trip"! What can I say? It's like an insane mash-up between "Ice Age 2" and "Apocalypto", two movies that aren't really as much fun as this one, I say.

[Richard laughs]

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: It's about ten thousand pounds of cheese on a cracker, and Richard, now and then, you know what I'm in the mood for? Ten thousand POUNDS of cheese on a cracker!

Richard Roeper - Host: Wow, that's amazing.

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: That's what it is. It's my "Never Back Down", okay?

Richard Roeper - Host: It's, well, you know what? "Never Back Down" is "No Country for Old Men" compared to this piece of garbage. And I believe the other critics who gave this positive reviews were doing so with crayons while their juice boxes were next to them.

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Ohhhh! Man!

Richard Roeper - Host: But I'm glad you enjoyed it. I, I understand...

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Are you really, are you truly glad I enjoyed it?

Richard Roeper - Host: Yes, because somebody should've enjoyed it.

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Good.

Richard Roeper - Host: I do understand what you're saying. It's SO cheesy. There's absolutely NO attempt for historical accuracy. In fact, at one point, I thought, y'know...

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: I don't know what you're talking about. I think this thing is ON the money!

Richard Roeper - Host: I thought we were gonna see some of these cavemen in, like, Pintos, driving across the Great Plains. And they were building, I think they were building Las Vegas, aren't they?

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Right, the Luxor Hotel, absolutely.

Richard Roeper - Host: But, y'know, Michael, the special effects are horrible, the acting is laughable, Camilla Belle apparently invented eyeliner...

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Eyeliner. There's a lot of eyeliner. When she cries at the end, there's a lot of eyeliner, yeah.

Richard Roeper - Host: It really almost plays like a Mel Brooks parody. It's not trying THAT much to be a parody.

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: You know what?

Richard Roeper - Host: It's just dreadful, with the giant tigers and the cheap special effects, and y'know, these tribes, some of them speak English, some of them speak, y'know, other languages...

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Right.

Richard Roeper - Host: And there's lots of, there's a lot of that thing where one guy, y'know, gives a little speech and they all go "Woo woo woo!" It's just... horrible.

Michael Phillips - Guest Host: Look, you can call it a guilty pleasure, but y'know, I know no guilt on this one.