Chris Rock: George Bush has fucked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! People are like "give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra... anything but another white man! That last one fucked up my roof!"

Chris Rock: [on John McCain talking about being in a POW camp] I don't wanna vote for nobody who got captured, I wanna vote for the motherfucker that got away!

Chris Rock: It's just sad to see some white person trying to do a nigger-less rendition of a Dr. Dre song. It's just fuckin' depressing.

Chris Rock: [on John McCain] I don't need a president with a bucket list!

Chris Rock: I'll tell you this right now, white people in here. If Barack Obama wins, if you have any activity in your life that involves black people that is supposed to happen the day after election day it will not get done. Election Day's a Tuesday. That Wednesday, don't schedule no black shit. If you gotta fly, ain't nobody carrying your bags. You gotta carry your own shit. We got a black president.

Chris Rock: "Barack" man, he doesn't let his blackness sneak up on you. Like if his name was Bob Jones or something like that, it might take you two or three weeks to figure out he's a black. But when you hear "Barack Obama", you picture a brother with a spear, just standing over a dead lion. You picture the base player from The Commodores.

Chris Rock: [in South Africa] I finally made it! Woo! Now let's hope I make it the fuck outta here!

Chris Rock: [on John McCain] How you gonna make decisions about the future when you ain't gonna be here?

Chris Rock: [on John McCain being too old] When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!

Chris Rock: Shit, last year the NAACP had a funeral for the word "nigger"! Well, tonight is Easter!

Chris Rock: I think pretty soon people gonna be fuckin' for gas. I think people already fuckin' for gas. Some of y'all in here tonight are fuckin' for gas. Like 'Girl, why you with him?' He filled up my tank.

Chris Rock: George Bush has fucked up so bad he made it hard for a White man to run for president.