Trudy: Canejo Springs used to be a decent place... then came the drugs and... anus sex.
Sam: Four days, 17 hours, 26 minutes, 31 seconds. That is when the world will end.
Pastor John: I used to be like you.
Corey: What, you had a training bra?
Pastor John: Not exactly. But when I was your age, I experienced things that made me feel like God didn't exist. Maybe you've experienced something like that too.
Sam: You don't know anything about me.
Pastor John: I can see that you're in pain.
Sam: I'm alive.
Pastor John: Is that how you see life?
Sam: Till farts taste like cherries, yeah.
Corey: What do you think God's farts taste like?
Sam: Marshmallow Peeps.
Pastor John: You girls new in town?
Sam: Just passing through.
Pastor John: Well, you gonna be around a little while, you might as well stop and get some pizza at my Bible study. Lot of fun.
Corey: Oh, I'm satanic.
[gesturing to Sam]
Corey: She's half-Jehovah, quarter Jew and a tiny bit retarded.
Pastor John: Well, we're nondenominational. We accept all types, even those with horns.
Corey: [about Sam] See, she's an ice queen. You need a flamethrower to get inside that.
Pastor John: Well, if you want to be born again, you have to forget the past.
Sam: Good thing sinners can repent, right?