Sorority Row (2009) User Reviews (165)

In a row

[kosmasp · 5/10 · 20 August 2013]

So another horror remake? Shocker ... though not exactly literally. What it is though is beautiful. Especially if you do like women. There is not much acting necessary (which doesn't imply the people involved are not able to do so), just having to look good and scared. All of them are good in that regard.

I haven't seen the original (or I don't remember it?), but the premise is pretty simple. As another reviewer wrote, you could say, just another slasher. The effects/murders are pretty good, so you get your moneys worth from that. Thrills are decent enough, though you do know where it is heading and characters still "act" dumb/irrational, as they always do in those movies

Slasher remake that beats all of the lifeless remakes/sequels of late

[A_Llama_Drama · 6/10 · 15 January 2010]

Sorority Row seems to be receiving a lot of bad press for the same reasons that all slasher flicks seem to garner - it's clichéd, the characters aren't likable, the plot isn't handled well, the set-up is botched, blah blah blah. OK, these ARE fair points - there exists within this movie one too many "Hello, is anybody there?" moments, too many "Don't go in there!" moments, and let's be honest, they could have quite happily pinned the entire thing on someone else and gone to police instead of covering it up.

However, to complain about those things would be to complain about the entire purpose of the slasher genre. Besides Scream, Hallowe'en and Black Christmas, there is not a single slasher that has a shred of believability (and even Hallowe'en doesn't - Michael Myers is the boogie man for goodness sake!). We go to see slasher films to watch people get killed and don't pretend otherwise. These situations do not happen in real life, why expect any level of realism in the film?!?

So why bother going to see this? Primarily, for the kills. Out of the 10 or so murders, I'd say but only 3 are gratuitous and 2 of those are badly set up. Again, it's the same old story of bimbo/drunk frat boy wandering where they should know not to. But for the 7 or so others, they rock! The manslaughter at the beginning is pretty twisted, yet I, and many others got satisfaction watching one of those twits from The Hills getting offed and thrown down a mine shaft. Following on, a "pimped up" tyre iron is implemented to cause as much gore and depravity as possible: bottles, mirror shards, cars, flare guns, axes, fire-extinguishers, shotguns and the bird cane from the original all are used at some point to bring the death count to a total Rambo would be proud of. One of my favourite set-ups in the movie comes after the party, when they are aware that somehow, someone knows about their little secret. In an intense scene involving many bubbles - because in the World of the Greek Letters, you are more likely to find a jacuzzi than a room full of mannequins - one of the 5 get caught out in it. The build up ranks with that of Annie in Halloween or CC in Scream 2 - after the girls receive another threatening text, they realise that one of their names was missing from the list and before they know it, the missing girl is running, screaming through the courtyard towards them. Although the scares are few and far between, that scene had me ducking. The murder weapon, that tyre iron, is set to become iconic if it garners any sequels (which, undoubtedly it will).

The main characters may not be the most interesting, and two of the girls really are just plain boring, but there are 3 who stand out in my mind: Jessica, Cassie and Ellie. Jessica, the bitchy queen, is played with fervour by Leah Pipes: she relishes every mean phrase, never misses a chance to put someone down, and when she stumbles across the dead body of a sorority sister, her first remark is "God, she looks terrible!" delivered with a dead pan attitude that just rocked. The fact that, unfortunately, she is governed by a bloke is a shame, but she redeems herself towards the end, staying true to her bitchy, selfish nature. Ellie, although a walking cliché in a horror movie, is played really rather well by Rumer Willis. A girl falling apart at the seams as she tries to cope with her part in the accident, she goes from slightly shaky to worried to paranoid to hysterical to catatonic. Yet she maintains some integrity and humour and has quite possibly the funniest moment during which the girls are trying to stop her from finding out that Megan just might not be dead. Finally, Briana Evigans is such fun to watch. Although her character has no right to feel better about herself over what happened and she certainly is no Sydney Prescott or Laurie Strode, Briana brings out of Cassie a feisty, tough girl who can actually be rooted for towards the end. The other 2 VERY good reasons to watch this movie are as follows: gratuitous cat fights (in a burning house with a psycho killer running around none-the-less!) and Carrie Fisher blowing her kitchen to smithereens with a shot gun, all the while taunting the masked killer with lines such as "Come to Mama."

All in all, Sorority Row is not a good film but it is sheer entertainment. What it lacks in plot and credibility it more than makes up for in style. it's also the first remake that I've had pleasure watching due to it's total carelessness of where it's origins lie. I'd give it 6 out of 10. (yes I am aware I've awarded it 10 out of 10 but that's because I feel bad that morons would mark it so harsh on its lack of plot... seriously)

Pimp my tire iron.

[BA_Harrison · 6/10 · 4 June 2010]

With it's excessively asinine plot, crazy killer armed with a particularly impractical weapon (a modified tire iron), exaggerated death scenes, a larger-than-normal quota of bitchy, big breasted bimbos (including the obligatory sexy nerd) and their equally obnoxious boyfriends, and a fair smattering of gratuitous nudity, I'm pretty certain that Sorority Row was intended by its makers to parody the countless, moronic, teen slasher remakes that have blighted horror in recent years. However, it appears that their motive may have been lost on many viewers, who seem to have mistaken the deliberate playing up of genre stereotypes and intentional over-use of dumb clichés for a case of plain, old-fashioned bad movie-making—something which there has been plenty of over the last decade or so.

It's a shame, because when armed with the knowledge that much of the film's apparent awfulness is by design, one can have quite a bit of fun with Sorority Row.

The film opens with one of those frat parties that only ever seem to happen in the movies (or maybe I just went to the wrong parties): it's thumping with the latest cool tunes, heaving with physically perfect specimens of both sexes indulging in all manner of hedonistic activities, and overflowing with an endless supply of alcohol. Whilst the gorgeous revellers bump, grind and get wasted, six sexy sorority sisters carry out a mean prank that will have disastrous results: they con a poor schmuck into believing that he has accidentally killed his ex-girlfriend Megan by plying her with drugs. Carrying the joke a little too far, they also convince him that it would be a good idea to hide his crime by pushing her body into a lake located near a disused mine. Unfortunately, before they can reveal that it is all a sick joke, events spiral out of control, and Megan winds up dying for real when the guy plunges a tire iron into her chest (to let the air out of her lungs so that she will sink). Now the group are forced to dispose of a genuine corpse—opting to dump their dead friend down the mine-shaft.

A year later, as the girls celebrate their graduation, a hooded murderer is busy at work on the campus. Is it Megan, back from the dead for revenge, or does someone else have a motive for the rapidly rising body count?

What follows is undeniably silly, but as I have said, when viewed with the right frame of mind, it's also rather enjoyable; one can have fun spotting the deliberate attempts by the makers to ridicule the more idiotic conventions of the genre (the over privileged students, the stern but protective den mother, the innocent girl who unwillingly goes along with her friends' plans) whilst also revelling in the brutal violence, ogling the many attractive women, cheering on a shotgun toting Carrie Fisher, and marvelling at just how much Rumer Willis sounds like her mother.

It's not a brilliant piece of film-making (if it was, the parodic content would have been obvious to all), but it's not nearly as dreadful as many might have you believe. I rate Sorority Row a reasonable 6/10. Give it a chance.

Less like a remake, more like another slasher

[Cujo108 · 3 August 2010]

A group of sorority girls pull a cruel prank on the brother of one of their brethren. They wind up taking the prank too far, and it goes terribly awry when one of them is killed. Fearful for their futures, they decide to dump the body down an old shaft and keep what happened a secret. Time passes and it seems that they've gotten away with it, but a hooded killer shows up on the night of their graduation party to pick off those involved.

I am not the biggest remake fan. I outright skip many of them, though I'm not as vehement in my stance as I once was. In fact, a few have actually been catching my interest more and more as of late, the other most recent example being The Uninvited, a surprisingly well-done adaptation of a somewhat overrated Asian title. Then there is Sorority Row, which garnered my attention for two key reasons; A) I am an unapologetic slasher fan and B) Margo Harshman has a role in the film.

With that said, I really enjoyed Sorority Row. I did a double-bill with Whiteout, and thankfully I decided to watch this one second, as it washed away the foul taste of that nonsensical mess. For slasher fans like myself, Sorority Row had a feeling of "old school" to it. The storyline setup, the atmosphere, the wild sorority parties... it felt like old times. Old times that were witnessed via 80's slashers, of course. Some pretty inventive kills in here too, just like in the glory days of the slasher film. No repetitive Scream or IKWYDLS type kills. And really, if you're a slasher fan, the kills are half of the fun. I also have to say that I enjoyed the dialogue in this film. It was always spot-on with the wit, always funny in a dark humor sorta' way. I actually had the opposite reaction to the characters, as the girl playing Cassidy annoyed me. Her voice just grated on my nerves for some reason. The queen bitch was a joy to watch. I thought she was thoroughly amusing. As for Margo, she was stuck with the thankless role of the group slut, but she brought her own brand of deadpan humor to the part. Her lacking amount of screen time was my biggest disappointment with this movie.

All of that aside, the killer's reveal was also disappointing. The motivation just wasn't resonating with me, and some of the theatrics seemed too in line with the lame Scream brand of villains. Still, the rest of the film was so much fun, I can't help but recommend this to other slasher fans. If you like this kind of film, give it a chance. If you don't, well, I doubt you'd be reading this far anyway. It's a slasher film, plain and simple, and one I'd give the ol' slash of approval.

Wow what was that?

[deadman8974 · 3/10 · 17 January 2010]

I went to see Sorority Row because it looked like a great movie. They put a great trailer together and it looked like the movie had something to offer. Did it? No. You can pretty much skip the first 13 minutes of this movie because it is in the 3 minute trailer. This movie was dragged out, Certain parts of the movie became boring. They should have gotten more into the characters that would be alive at the end. They also make you want the girls to die. Most of the girls are annoying and there is not one part were you might actually not want the person being killed, to be killed. The reason i am giving it a 3 instead of a 1 is because the twist did surprise me but we never really got to know the character in the first place

Sorority Row

[jboothmillard · 3/10 · 5 April 2012]

I'm not sure whether I heard about this film during the time of its release or not, but I saw clips of it, and I do like to try the occasional scary movie with a distinctive title. Basically sorority sister Megan Blaire (Audrina Patridge) has found out that her boyfriend Garrett Bradley (Matt O'Leary) had cheated on her, and with the help of her sorority friends Cassidy Tappan (Briana Evigan), Jessica Pierson (Leah Pipes), Ellie Morris (Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce and Demi Moore), Claire Wen (Jamie Chung) and Charlene 'Chugs' Bradley (Margo Harshman) help her get revenge. The plan is for Megan to fake her death by pretending to overdose on pills, they will dump her body in the lake, and she will eventually come back and freak him out, but when they get to a steel mill this goes horribly wrong when Garrett stabs his girlfriend and she dies for real. The sorority sisters and he have no choice, because they cannot face telling anyone, including the police, but to dump her body in a near deep shaft so that no-one can find the body. Eight months have passed, and the sisters have grown further apart in their friendship, but they may be forced to come back together when one gets a strange message from someone that knows what they did, with a picture of the tire iron Garrett stabbed Megan with. This all comes during the time of graduation, and one by one the sorority girls find out the horrific intent of this stranger sending the message, each girl is murdered by someone in a hooded cloak. One of the five girls is bumped off, leaving four to question who the killer may be, they are sure it is Megan come back from the dead, but they conclude it is not after finding her corpse in the shaft. They have their suspicions, and their house mother Mrs. Crenshaw (Carrie Fisher) is determined to stop whoever it is despite finding out about the horrific accident at the start of the nightmare, and eventually it is revealed to be Andy Richards (Julian Morris), Cassidy's boyfriend. The reason is that he wanted the perfect relationship with her, but there were too many people that knew about her involvement in Megan's death, so he killed everyone that he was sure knew about it, no matter who that was. In the end he gets what he deserved after Cassidy knew how crazy he was, fifteen months pass and Cassidy, Maggie and Ellie are the sorority girls left, everything seems to be back to normal, but that is questionable when see a person with scarred wrists, like Garrett did. Also starring Matt Lanter as Kyle. The cast of young beautiful actresses are only really good for their looks, Fisher does make a feisty house mother, this film is pretty much Prom Night meets I Know What You Did Last Summer, a sort of remake, so with that in mind it is not really that original or scary at all, a slightly terrible horror thriller. Adequate!

Awful Combination of "I Know What You Did" with "American Pie"

[claudio_carvalho · 3/10 · 14 February 2010]

During a party in the Theta-Pi sorority house, the sister Megan (Audrina Patridge) plays a prank with her unstable boyfriend Garrett (Matt O'Leary) simulating an OD after using pills. Her sisters Jessica (Leah Pipes), Claire (Jamie Chung), Ellie (Rumer Willis), Cassidy (Briana Evigan) and Garrett's sister Chugs (Margo Harshman) suggest to dump her "body" in a lake and the stressed Garrett sticks the tire iron through the Megan's chest killing her. Cassidy decides to call the police, but the sisters are convinced to dispose the body in a shaft and keep in secret under the leadership of Jessica that blackmails Cassidy. Eight months later, in their graduation party, the sisters receive a creepy message with the picture of the tire iron in the beginning of a nightmarish night.

"Sorority Row" is another rip-off of the franchise "I Know What You Did…" and other sub-products of the slasher genre combined with "American Pie", with those sorority houses where the women are stupid sluts and the guys are stupid drunkards. The result is a plot absurdly imbecile and the characters Jessica and Maggie are simply unbearable. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Pacto Secreto" ("Secret Pact")

Scream meets I know what you did last summer meets Urban Legends

[Filmaholic78 · 7/10 · 10 September 2009]

This film is nothing original.

But then what teenage slasher film is. And for that reason only I give this film 7 out of 10. I feel giving a movie of this style a poor review is cutting it short for the credit it should get. It is well shot, the death sequences are well put together and inventive, there are the comical moments, characters you hate and can't wait to meet there makers and the who is the murderer guessing game.

Don't get me wrong the film is not special, it's no Oscar nominee and has so many plot holes it is swiss cheese but what you do get is a fun slasher flick that won't let you down as long as you don't expect too much from it.

Snore-ity Row

[chicagopoetry · 1/10 · 14 September 2009]

The remake of House on Sorority Row is a dull, unimaginative waste of film. It is totally implausible and we can't associate or even like any of the characters which makes suspension of disbelief absolutely impossible. Sorority Row is so formulaic that if you've watched any slasher flicks in your life don't even bother, because you've already seen it. The ending is a total anti-climax and there isn't one scare worthy of the price of admission in the entire film. To think that they were making horror movies much better than this thirty, even forty years ago! If you just want to sit there and see a stupid movie about a guy killing a bunch of girls with no suspense, no gory special effects and not an ounce of humor, go see this yawn-fest.

A must see for slasher fans

[skullhead739 · 7/10 · 1 April 2020]

This movie doesnt have the best avg ratings but for the genre it is really well done.

Acting: This is a slasher after all so they do well at portraying stereotypes and the conventions. You get a sense of feeling for them and enjoy their relations.

Cinematography/special affects: Really nice gory scenes and creative kills in this one. Camera shots are decent and you get a sense of tension which is really important for these types of movies.

Story: I really really enjoyed the plot of this. It was unique, interesting and kept me glued the whole time watching. Yeah some scenes arnt the best but most of them are awesome. Beginning, middle and end were conventional but unique and made to stand out among its rivals. Many people compare this with "scream" and "I know what you did last summer", both classics.

Summary: Very decent horror/slasher flick, high up there with the greats. It must be said that slasher films arnt for everyone. But if you like them than you'll most likely really enjoy this one.

A remake that should haven't been revamp and it shows....

[raysond · 2/10 · 9 October 2009]

"Sorority Row" is the bland remake of 1983's "The House on Sorority Row",provided more laughs than screams,as five close sisters accidentally have their close friend murdered in a prank gone amiss and vow to keep it secret. And if you think that sounds corny and done-to-death,the sisters actually justify their actions by Theta Pi's motto "Trust,respect,honor,solidarity,secrecy." Quite convenient for the lead bimbo Jessica(Leah Pipes)whose desire to impress her boyfriend's senator father causes her to take her callous manipulation to the maximum.

And Surprise,Surprise-this little plan comes back to haunt the sisters. It's idiocy all around with a mysterious murderer who starts it all by stabbing the supposedly dead body with a tire iron. How is that supposed to help at all? The moment-which was meant to be suspenseful and surprising-only makes the audience laugh at this bumbling wimp. Resting heavily on the concept of amoral sorostitutes who throw raging parties,take drugs,and have plastic surgery and act stuck up in public, "Sorority Row" fails to keep the opening scenes believable. But the fantasy-or every college boy's wet dream of seeing drunken sorority girls jumping on trampolines topless and smacking each other with pillows by telling you that crap like that only happens in stupid movies where characterization comes second to a convoluted plot with no believability. Like this piece of dung.

After tossing the body of their beloved sister down a mine shaft,the remaining girls(one of whom played by Rumer Willis,the daughter of actor Bruce Willis)receiving a disturbing text message on graduation day which reveals someone is aware of their twisted sister. The plot unwinds from there and basically the audience can go by the numbers to exactly what happens next. The slut dies first and the mysterious black robe killer racks up bodies than the Asian girl beds frat boys,not to mention making out with the other sisters too.

At least the house mother(Carrie Fisher,yes that Carrie Fisher of Star Wars....in a horror movie??? Who was behind the casting here???),provides humor to the predictable sorority jabs,but its not enough to save this plotlesss,scareless trip through clichés ans stereotypes. And one point the killer writes "Theta Pi must die" in blood on a wall. Its not that hard to agree,but this was a remake that should have been left alone.

Much better than you think

[lancelg-54377 · 10/10 · 24 December 2021]

I would say the only flaw in this film is that the motive of the killer isn't explored well, but other than that, it's a solid slasher with fun characters/dialogue.

Surprisingly fun slasher flick and a decent remake.

[Nightman85 · 7/10 · 12 September 2009]

When a prank goes awry, a group of sorority sisters are left with a dead body on their hands. They cover up the accidental murder, but on graduation night someone begins to brutally kill everyone involved in the deadly prank.

Admittedly I went into Sorority Row with low expectations because I've always had a soft spot for the original House on Sorority Row (1983) and I feared that this would be another weak insulting remake, i.e. Black Christmas 2006 or Prom Night 2008. However I found myself rather entertained by this polished and energetic remake, it was an engaging ride all the way. Sorority Row has a typical slasher film setup, some hokey dialog, and the usual MTV-style direction, but it manages to build some good suspense and action throughout its interesting plot. Also it has some effectively funny moments of dark humor. In addition there's some flashes of nudity thrown in along with some inventive and bloody murder scenes.

Cast-wise the actors are adequate enough though their characters are typically paper-thin. The biggest standout is definitely Carrie Fisher as the amusingly tough housemother Mrs. Crenshaw. She deserved more screen time.

Over all Sorority Row is a fun slasher guilty pleasure that thankfully doesn't tarnish the memory of a horror classic. It's a worth-wild watch for horror fans, especially if you don't take it too seriously.

** 1/2 out of ****

Sorority Row (2009)

[fntstcplnt · 1/10 · 19 September 2019]

Directed by Stewart Hendler. Starring Leah Pipes, Briana Evigan, Jamie Chung, Rumer Willis, Caroline D'Amore, Margo Harshmann, Maxx Hennard, Julian Morris, Matt O'Leary, Carrie Fisher, Audrina Partridge. (R)

A stupid college prank goes extra stupid (and wrong, to say the least), resulting in a dead co-ed and five fellow sorority sisters with a dirty little secret to keep; you don't want to know what these twits did last summer, this summer, or any summer to come. Ostensibly based on 80s slasher flick, "The House on Sorority Row," but hardly resembles it; within the deluge of uninspired horror remakes of its time, possibly the lowest of the low. Opens with a camera shot that circulates a college party so obnoxiously crass, it immediately becomes clear that every character in the movie will be loathsome (even Evigan, who appeared destined for "final girl" status as soon as she was introduced). So nauseatingly constructed--frothing camera movements, gratuitous close-ups, grimy filters, edited with a chainsaw--that one begins to wonder if the direction was done as a sick prank similar to the one that occurs in the first act. Avoid at all costs, even those curious about what the heck Carrie Fisher is doing in this garbage--she's only onscreen for about five minutes, and is right to look a little embarrassed.

15/100

Blood, Boobs and Boredom

[drumming-monkey · 2/10 · 9 September 2009]

Just got back from watching this, and as with the majority of Hollywood remakes I've seen of late I must say I am quite disappointed. Before I take cheap shots at this film , I am a fan of all cinema, including but not limited to slasher films. All I ask is a devotion to its audience and to this "Sorority Row" does not comply.

People seem to think the combination of "boobs 'n' blood" (Can't believe I was able to fit that into a review :P) will win over even the hardest of critics. With the audience that I watched this with, I found it not to be true. The almost O.C.D. necessity of nudity and cleavage was O.T.T (Acronyms FTW). Yes slasher films need chicks and I'm not slating this, but when it becomes the main focal point of the film something has gone horribly wrong.

To be honest the only area in which the film didn't follow the "wash rinse repeat" tutorial of making a horror movie, was when a character looked in the mirror and *to everyones surprise the killer wasn't there.*

*insert sarcastic over-tones* also * indicates sarcasm

I have heard people referencing "Mean Girls" crossed with "Scream" when explaining this film to me, professing this as the most valid comparison. I would agree with this to the extent that:

It's set around the concept of collage girls

The girl's are stupidly spiteful and spitefully stupid.

And finally the killer wears a hood/cloak combo. Also (Oooo and at one point there are many people in hoods), *Oh the jeopardy*

Now to the death's, this is why we go to see this kind of film; blood and a cocktail of mutilated bodies. Alright... I may have been tainted by the ever so slightly diverse deaths of the "Saw" collection; but I feel the need for more than just variations of the "insert knife here" collection that "Sorority Row" has to offer; Or in its case, *insert tyre iron here*. (Well it made me laugh)

But I'll be fair, (*yeah right*), this is no ordinary tyre iron, it has been pimped. (Pimped, yeah thats right, I said it, by the end of the week I'll be a G). But since all the ends are pretty much pointy/cutting attachments, you could rewind a death and watch it again and you wouldn't be missing anything.

This brings me to another short but needed point. When characters don't have enough depth to even remember their name, then who cares if they die. Yes its a slasher flick but come on.

Overall I have only ever been so disappointed once before and I doubt any film will be able to beat the abomination that is "Donkey Punch"; but my hatred for that will be dished out at a later date. To put it bluntly, by the end of the film the characters had irritated me so much I just wanted them all to die, at least that way I would be safe in the knowledge there would be no sequel.

Fails to graduate

[Ali_John_Catterall · 1/10 · 8 September 2009]

There's a tiny, otherwise throwaway scene in Sorority Row that pretty much nails the appeal of this particular subset of slasher. As the Rosman University campus erupts in a shower of booze, barfing and bubble-bath during a graduation party, a cowled hooded figure in a black graduation gown wends its way through the throng. Could it be the serial killer who's been picking off the sorority girls and their boyfriends? As the ominous music swells and crescendos, the cowl is suddenly flung off to reveal... a half-naked babe with big jiggling funbags! Wha-hey! And there you have it: the timeless confluence of sex and death could hardly be made more crassly explicit. If only there was as much substance to the rest of the movie.

As we join them, the honey pies of Theta Pi, including queen bitch Jessica (Leah Pipes), five-boys-nightly Chugs (Margo Harshman) and bookish Ellie (Rumer Willis) - a "spellchecker with a nice rack" - are playing a trick on Chugs' brother Garrett (Matt O'Leary), who's been cheating on Sorority sister Megan (Audrina Patridge). The upshot of said 'prank' is almost too unbelievable to relate, but there's no taming these psychotic Hollywood screenwriters nowadays, lurking furtively round the Sunset Strip like rabid skunks. Garrett is given some fake Rohypnol by the girls, who encourage him to slip it to Megs. "You get to have sex - and a good night sleep!" as they say. Megs starts foaming at the mouth (all part of the joke, it's really baking soda! Hahahaha!!) and while still feigning death, she's driven to an old disused mining quarry by Garrett and the girls, who discuss how best to dispose of her body. Regrettably, at the point Megan is about to be 'revived', a panicked Garrett plunges a tire iron into her chest to get rid of the air in her lungs so she'll sink better. Better invoke that old Theta Pi motto of "Trust, respect, honour, secrecy and solidarity". In other words, it's ding dong bell, Megan's down the well.

Eight tight-lipped months later, on graduation day, the girls' guilty consciences finally catch up with them in the shape of an unseen murderer, who starts picking them off with a pimped-out tire iron. Who's the psycho? A now unhinged Garrett? Megan's newly-enrolled younger sister Maggie (Caroline D'Amore)? Perhaps even Megan herself, somehow returned from the dead to exact her grisly supernatural revenge? And after nearly 101 tedium-filled minutes, will anyone give a tuppenny toss?

The derivative 'Row (shower scene with obliging nipple flash - tick; unstoppable killer - tick; bimbettes wearing three-quarters of nothing and their bums literally hanging out of their jimjams - tick) is not only a lame remake of a movie from a widely derided, bastardised sub-genre (a strong exception: Bob Clark's original Black Christmas), it also exemplifies the fundamental problem many have with horror-comedies, being neither funny or spine-chilling enough to convince on either level. If the comedy is tastelessly fudged, the shocks are purely of the jump-scare variety. The makers even successfully argued the BBFC down to get their 15 certificate - that's how seriously it takes its horror. Among the incidental character credits, the likes of "Stoned Dude", "Waster Guy" and "Bra-Clad Sister", is a certain, mystifying "Sea Pig." Type that into Google images, and we can guarantee you that what pops onto your monitor will disturb you more than anything on show here.

It does, however, have one ace to play, in the glorious, fiftysomething shape of Carrie Fisher, cameoing as housemother Mrs Crenshaw, a soppy if iron-willed spinster prepared to protect her girls at all costs. "Please don't think I'm afraid of you" she sneers at the advancing killer, "I run a house with 50 crazy bitches." Filmmakers, take note! Whether armed with a double-barrelled shotgun, a rebel blaster or, in the case of The Blues Brothers, a 4-barrelled rocket launcher, a tooled-up Fisher always adds instant value to any movie. If only she could be arsed to script-doctor them all too.

Possibly the worst Horror film ever made.

[standrkm · 1/10 · 20 April 2010]

It starts off with steady clichés in the background as if to make fun of itself. Every seen is blatantly obvious, the nude scenes are cheesy.

Let me just give you an example of a bad scene:

A college girl is taking a shower, she turns the water off and hears her friends talking. They leave and all the showers turn on. Now this isn't unusual is it, since they are college students and well they take showers. But for some reason she gets out of the shower scared out of her mind and says hello. "Hello is anybody there, maybe a guy with a hook and trench coat waiting to kill me?" Hello? Anyway yeah the guy from I know what you did last summer is there and well the film is full of this. This is the worst horror flick next to house of the dead.

For me, movies are no longer scary. They trick the audiences into watching gruesome murder scenes to somehow get us use to killing. It is a bad influence on children and it needs to stop.

There are no more scary movies like Poltergeist, just blood soaked gore, murder on film.

A surprisingly fun guilty pleasure

[lovecraft231 · 7/10 · 13 September 2009]

Oh no, a guy is cheating on one of the Theta Pi sisters! Good for them they have a prank lined up for some prime revenge. Too bad said prank ends with one of them dead. To make things worse, a hooded slasher is after them after graduation.

Last year, we got a remake of "Prom Night" that ended up being one of the worst horror remakes of the decade, and committed a cardinal sin-a PG-13 slasher movie. Well, look at "Sorority Row" (a remake of the 1983 slasher flick "The House on Sorority Row") as the movie the "Prom Night" remake should have been-the anti-"Prom Night" remake if you will. It's not a classic, but nobodies expecting that now, are they?

So, what works?

For one thing, while not a splatter flick, there are some impressive kills available, as well as a sweet murder weapon that has potential to become iconic. Also, the performances are fun. Carrie Fisher is a hoot to watch (her role is a bit too minuscule though) and unlike say "I Know What You Did Last Summer", this movie makes no bones about the fact that most of these characters are unlikable and deserve their fates. The best surprise as far as acting is concerned is Leah Pipes as the bitchy leader of the sorority sisters Jessica. She's a blast to watch, and plays the part without overacting or overdoing her character. In short, she steals the show as far as I'm concerned. The movie does have it's flaws-it's a bit too flashy at moments, at times could have done a little more with it's R-rating (there's nudity, but none of the lead girls gets naked? For shame!) and the final ten minutes could have definitely used some work.

Nags aside, "Sorority Row" is a fun guilty pleasure. Sure, it's more catered towards a teen audience than hardcore horror fans, but come on, most slasher flicks have been catered to a teen audience. Besides, in an age of pointless PG-13 horror, 3D gimmicks, unnecessary sequels like "Halloween II" and "The Final Destination", horror flicks that try to hard to be hardcore, and horror flicks that try too hard to cater to horror fans (I'm a hardcore horror fan, but occasionally that can get annoying), a piece of unapologetic slasher fluff goes down easy.

Plus, any movie that opens with girls in PJ's with their asses exposed jumping up and down can't be all bad.

Not very good remake of a not very good slasher film.

[poolandrews · 3/10 · 19 April 2012]

Sorority Row starts late one night at a party at the Theta Phi sorority house on Ransom University, five of the top sorority girl's play a prank on a boy named Garrett (Matt O'Leary) the cheating boyfriend of Megan (Audrina Patridge) who lets him think that they are going to have sex together. The other four girl's have given Garrett a pill to give to Megan, although harmless Megan plays dead & Garrett panics. Garrett & the other girls decide to take Megan to hospital but they end up at a disused quarry when they claim Megan is dead. They continue to play the joke on Garrett & agree to dispose of the body after cutting it up, however the prank backfires when Garrett stabs Megan in the chest killing her for real. Garrett & the other four sorority girls decide to throw Megan's body down an old well & make a pact not to tell anyone else for fear of going to jail but eight months later the girls are all sent texts referring to Megans death as a hooded figure starts to kill the girls one by one...

Directed by Stuart Hendler this is a remake of the early 80's teen slasher The House on Sorority Row (1983) which I have seen but cannot remember anything about other than someone gets a walking stuck in their throat but I still think it's probably safe to say that it couldn't be any worse then this lifeless & dull offering. A lot of classic independent horror films have been remade in the past few years by Hollywood but I am struggling to see the attraction in remaking a fairly obscure slasher film such as The House on Sorority Row, however someone though it was a good idea & what we are left with is a forgettable a teen slasher with no great redeeming features apart from one or two decent kill scenes. The story doesn't quite work, even if Megan & the other girls could convince Garrett that she was dead why was there no investigation into her disappearance? Surely someone else at the party saw Meagn & the other's? Wouldn't the police have investigated? The character's are very unlikable, spoilt rich brats, wimpy worriers & selfish stuck-up girls who really are impossible to like & that in turn makes it impossible to side or emphasise with anyone. When the killer is finally revealed & their motives exposed it's all rather silly & while they were a brilliant silent killer once they are revealed they become a noisy idiot all of a sudden. The killer's identity also leads to the double twist ending in which someone is is earlier thought to have been the killer so why do they start attacking people? Why did they behave in the way that they did? It never made any sense to me. At almost 100 minutes long Sorority Row drags at times, it's fairly repetitive & never really excites or interests beyond how the next victim is going to die & how much padding we are going to have to sit through to find out. All the standard teen slasher clichés are here, silly false scares, lots of walking around dark places, shower scenes, a murder at regular intervals & a twist ending that you will probably forget within a day or two. I can't say I liked it that much.

Sorority Row looks nice enough, director Hendler fails to create much tension or many scares but it's reasonably well made with a certain slickness about it. The kills are alright, my favourite was when the girl gets her whiskey bottle rammed down her throat. The rest of the kills all involve a rather awkward look tyre iron with blades on each side, it's a silly murder weapon actually. There's a fair amount of nudity here if that's your thing. Originally set to be PG the distributors decided to go with an R rating, not that it's that graphic anyway but the extra bit of blood & gore does help.

With a supposed budget of about $16,000,000 this was filmed in Pennsylvania, the production values are good but the acting got on my nerves with every character's quite unlikable.

Sorority Row feels like I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) only with more girls & nowhere near as good, this is standard clichéd teen slasher with little to recommend it. Unoriginal, tired & bland.

Looks very nice, otherwise adequate slasher

[neil-476 · 7/10 · 9 September 2009]

When Garrett cheats on girlfriend Megan, her sorority sisters decide to pay him back by pretending that she is dead, to the extent that they take the "body" off to a remote site to dispose of it. When Megan accidentally moves, the spooked Garrett reacts by driving a tire iron into her chest, leaving the sisters with the problem of what to do with the body. Cassidy wants to report it to the authorities, but alpha uber-bitch Jessica browbeats the others into dumping Megan's body (and the tire iron) down a mineshaft. At the graduation party eight months later, the girls are texted a photo of a hand grasping a tire iron. As they begin to die one by one, the question is whether Megan has come back from the dead, or is there another explanation? Sorority Row is a perfectly serviceable slasher movie, fuelled by a) who gets it next (and how), and b) who is doing it. If this is the sort of movie you enjoy, then you'll enjoy this one.

There was an aspect I particularly liked, and that was the look of the movie - it is beautifully photographed - points awarded for cinematography, because it is filmed with much greater care than is usually the case for this sort of movie.

Two elements which pleased me less, though. One is the answer to who is doing it. This struck me as the least probable possibility, with a motive which is less than credible.

The other - and please read no further if you don't like spoilers, because this is a biggie - is the last five minutes. The climax is proceeding very nicely, and all looks lost, when help comes from an unexpected quarter. This turns out to be Ellie, played by Rumer Willis. Now Ellie has spent pretty much the entire movie as a snivelling, whimpering, hysterical mess yet, in this final few minutes, she becomes a Rambo-lite lean, mean killing machine (because she'd do anything for her sisters, you understand), in one of the biggest and least believable character switches in the memory of this particular moviegoer.

Good grief

[thales-63045 · 1/10 · 1 November 2020]

Just watched this on The Horror Channel. Please don't waste your time. Go cut the grass even if it's snowing. You'll find that more entertaining that this dross. Acting was awful. Storyline incredibly weak. Scary. No. Ironic yes! Will you waste 95 mins of your life? Yes.

People were too harsh on it

[sahrahsaheo · 8/10 · 3 April 2022]

I'm sorry but I think that people were just way to hard on this movie at the time of release. It may not be the greatest slasher in film history but it's still an entertaining flick with an enjoyable cast.

Mean Girls meets Black Christmas with a mix of I Know What You Did Last Summer, it's a bloody good time!

[Smells_Like_Cheese · 7/10 · 21 September 2009]

You know what's so strange? Even though I had wanted to see this movie, I was expecting it to be bad, from the trailer, you just knew it was going to be stupid. I still was curious to what it was going to be like and I possibly had one of the best times in a theater watching this movie. I think because we've had so many of these slasher films that everything is so clichéd and you know what to expect, this was a way of doing all that but keeping it fast paced. It poked fun at itself and gave exactly what it should have to it's audience. Not to mention this has possibly one of my new most favorite characters of all time, Jessica. This girl is the ultimate nasty mean b-tch that you know should be killed, but I didn't want her too, she was awesome and hilarious. She led the group and had great charisma. The only character they could've done without or just put in a different actress was Ellie, the nerdy girl of the group played by Rumer Willis, this girl gets on my nerves because I think she's mainly trying to get famous off of her parent's name. But the story while predictable was still a lot of fun.

Run by Mrs. Crenshaw the college sorority Theta Pi is home to seniors and best friends Jessica, Cassidy, Ellie, Claire, Chugs and Megan who, despite Mrs. Crenshaw's best efforts, constantly throw wild parties. During one of these parties Megan discovers her boyfriend Garrett is cheating on her and, with her friends' help, decides to pull a prank on him as payback, faking her own death while making out with Garrett. With help from the sisters Garrett brings Megan to a steel mill, the girls start joking by saying they need to dismember the body, Garrett then stabs Megan with a lug wrench, actually killing her. Panicking, the group dumps Megan's body in an old mineshaft, vowing never to speak of the events that transpired ever again. Eight months later, during the party held after graduation, the girls all receive a picture sent to their phones: a hooded figure holding the bloody wrench Garret used to kill Megan. Jessica takes lead and insists it is merely a prank and they continue with the party. But a hooded killer appears killing off each of the girls involved one by one.

Sorority Row doesn't have likable characters at all and that's why I liked it I think, because it didn't take itself so seriously, we know these girls deserve everything they get after throwing their friend into a ditch without giving her family the proper grief and closure of knowing that their daughter died. Plus that tire iron is possibly the coolest weapon we've seen in a while, it has a blade on one end and I think a bottle opener on the other, lol, OK, just joking. But the kills were cool, the dialog was hilarious, and the characters were awesomely mean and nasty. This was a fast paced action slasher movie that I'm sure in some way will be a cult classic down the line, like those 80's films, I'm sure Sorority Row will have the same reaction. Anyone who didn't have a little fun watching this movie, I feel sorry for you.

7/10

Ridiculous and silly...how do you screw up a typical slasher flick

[Robert_duder · 5/10 · 3 January 2010]

I love slasher movies, I love horror movies, I love remakes and I love sequels no matter how campy and silly they are. So for film makers to essentially screw up the stereotypical slasher flick for me would be near impossible but they did it with Sorority Row, a remake that takes campy and stupid to the level of actually being campy and stupid and not the kind that is fun to watch...which does exist. Even seen Sleepaway Camp? Evil Dead? Nightmare on Elm Street 3+...I could go on. The movie starts with a good solid lead in, some gore and a twisted prank but then everything falls apart. Essentially the film takes hints from Scream, and I Know What You Did Last Summer...90's classics that changed the face of slasher flicks. But when a horror movie relies on gore, guts, nudity and a kick butt killer you really have to make sure you have those pieces in place. Something I believe kept Nightmare On Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and Halloween series going was the killings were always outrageous and over the top and creative and not one death, except maybe for the original prank, are creative in any way. They aren't even funny or campy.

No one in the cast stands out so this is one of those movies where the cast can be lumped together in one great big pile. There isn't a "scream queen" and no strong hero or heroine to the film and that is a problem. The five sorority sisters did a crappy thing and now they are being picked off so you don't really want them to survive and you can't root for the psycho ghost killer so you're left watching evil taking vengeance on shallow, stupid kids. There needs to be one strong lead actor. The one shining point in the cast was having the amazing Carrie Fisher in a cameo as their house mother. That part of it was fun and seeing the royal Miss Fisher in the role was worthwhile. I understand she took the role as a favor to a family member? Not much wonder there.

The film can be described in one word...vapid. Now some would say that every slasher/horror film is vapid but that isn't true. A good horror film can have plenty of depth and story and characters and despite the beginning Sorority Row has none of this. I think director Stewart Hendler is trying to set himself up in the horror genre but this doesn't help him any but it's mostly likely the script at fault in this case. How do you take the writer from Honey I Shrunk The Kids (The TV Series) and have him pen a college slasher flick? It just doesn't work. Some people are diverse but he needs practice. It's not the worst film I've ever seen...probably not the worst horror film I've ever seen but it's a steer clear unless you're a gluten for punishment. 5/10

Pretty much by the numbers

[preppy-3 · 1/10 · 6 June 2010]

A bunch of unlikable sorority girls pull a stupid prank which accidentally kills one of them (the details are too stupid to get into). Naturally they all dump the body and pledge never to tell anyone. Eight months later, when they're graduating, someone starts sending them text messages with videos of the killing and saying they're going to all die.

Positively insulting redo of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (which sucked too). The plots are virtually identical with a typically annoying ending when someone who you never suspected is the killer. To be honest the person seems to know things that it would have been impossible for them to know...but I was so bored by then I could have cared less. The plot has the same boring clichés we've all seen--people wander off into the dark alone with no protection; there are ENDLESS stalking scenes; there's the evil rich girl and the sweet one (guess who lives); bloody murders that aren't shocking or interesting; a gratuitous shower sequence to show off nude females and male characters who were hired for their looks and muscular bodies--NOT their acting. The girls are all attractive and might actually have some acting talent but you can't tell by this. I gave up on this movie totally when one of the women is going into the sorority house alone and is warned not to. Her response? She holds up a FLARE GUN and says, "I'm protected" with a straight face! I broke out laughing at that one! This is yet another attempt by Hollywood to revive the slasher film by giving us the same garbage that KILLED the slasher film back in the 1980s! Let's put it this way--the 20 minute or so documentary in the DVD is a hundred times more entertaining than the full movie! Also don't let Carrie Fisher's name being in the credits fool you--she's barely in this. Boring, stupid and pointless.