Tracy Jordan: You are wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically manipulated shark.
Elisa: Lemon, isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?
Jack Donaghy: Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect.
Kenneth Parcell: My real name is... Dick Whitman!
Liz Lemon: Wow, that is one gay lion.
Brian Williams: This is something I've never told anyone. This is my terrible secret. In the 20 years that I've known her I've never cheated on my wife. There. I said it. Don't look at me.
Jack Donaghy: Wait a minute. That can't be the truth.
Tracy Jordan: The partying is just for show. And because I'm a high-functioning alcoholic. All the phone numbers you see me hand out, they're not even mine.
Brian Williams: [cut to Brian Williams sitting in his living room and answering the phone] No, this isn't Tracy Jordan.
[pauses]
Brian Williams: Really? I've not heard of that term before. Do you know how to get to Connecticut?
Jenna Maroney: I met this cute paramedic yesterday. He thinks I'm incredible. We're perfect for each other. But he left before I could get his name.
Pete Hornberger: I'm sure there's a way to find out.
Jenna Maroney: I called 911. They wouldn't even connect me to their celebrity service!
Liz Lemon: Elisa has a terrible secret. My current theory is she's the mother of those Michael Jackson kids!
Jenna Maroney: It's my fault. I did it. I just wanted that hot EMT to come back. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I'm so sorry But I am not a monster. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy she poisoned so this other boy would go to town on her.
