Eight years have past since the last two installments of Sex Trek, but Cash Markman and his cast are boldly back at it again, now looking almost as old as the original Star Trek crew did during the late Eighties and early Nineties. This is probably why Mike Horner (as Mr. Sperm) is now wearing a wig and occasionally a pair of glasses. The set has improved, the CG effects are still the same and Markman picks up right where he left off last time: spoofing episode 2 of the Original series (broadcast order): Charly X.
The Starship Intercourse is approaching Deep Space station 69 to pick up 21 year old hot tamale Charlie Walker (Shay Sweet) and not Charlie Evans, who would be a 17 year old boy. When Jimmy Quirk (Randy Spears) finds out Charly is a babe, he orders Squatty to make sure her clothes aren't beamed over with her. As usual, Charly's first stop is sickbay for the customary examination by Dr. McJoy (Steve Austin, who is really much to chunky to fill DeForest Kelly's uniform). While on the slab, Charly uses her mind powers to transfer her consciousness into Nurse Chapstick (Phoenix Ray). This means the good nurse finally gets to indulge all her pent up lust for Mr. Sperm whether he likes it or not. So for once Sperm gets to have sex first.
Next up, while walking the corridors, Charly notices crew-woman Bubbles (Sophia) and Yeoman Gland (Vicky Vette) comparing notes on Capt. Quirk and gets so jealous she hits Gland in the butt with a lightning bolt, twice. But as Shay Sweet freely admits she doesn't do boy/girl scenes, she seduces Yeoman Gland in the very next scene. Also she blows up the entire space station 69 (no, not that way!). In the TV show, Charlie merely destroyed the unseen spacecraft Antares.
Still only halfway through, Charly then transfers her mind into the Captain, giving Randy a reason to act effeminate and Trekkies to shout out "Turnabout Intruder takeoff". This makes Nurse Chapstick wonder if the video won't end end up one sex scene short (Markman's jokes have gotten better with age). She didn't need to worry, for Girlie Quirk gets it on with transporter babe Bubbles down on the 'Desilu Studios' set. Before Charly leaves the Captain's body, Boner and Sperm (as well as the audience) are treated to some really bad effects of Randy with a female body.
During a contemplative moment, McJoy mentions Hillary Clinton being elected President in 2008. Must have been in an alternate reality. Meanwhile Girlie Quirk transfers her mind into an unnamed female crew member (Shy Love) who wears a blue shirt like it's a mini skirt. This not so shy lover picks navigator Jackoff (Dick Smothers Jr.) to have a go with in the captains chair for the next twelve and a half minutes. Finally Quirk, who has been revitalized after a nap (Randy has been doing this for 15 years after all), deduces that Charly is occupying Yeoman Gland now, so he screws her hard. Sperm does a breast meld with her to find out her back story before they cast her off into deep space. By the way, they also mention her consciousness taking over a part of the ships computer, which episode was that again?
8 out of 10
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