27 May 2010 | Legendary_Badass
Costume changes drive the story
A lot of people exercise their brains with puzzles found in the newspaper. Sudoku is a prime example. The variety published by a typical paper can usually be solved in less than 5 minutes, or at least that's been my experience with them. The goal for me was to grab an issue of The Kansan, take a seat in class, and have the Sudoku finished before learning was to commence. I didn't have class every day, so when I didn't need the Sudoku I kept the paper. A small pile sits next to me as I type this review. I never got to working a single puzzle after graduating; I found that writing and talking about movies was a more suitable exercise for me. It seems that the worse the movie in question, the more mistakes there are to find. For that reason alone, Sex and the City 2 is a good brain teaser.
The adventure begins when Carrie Preston (Sarah Jessica Parker) and friends Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Samantha (Kim Cattrall) attending the wedding of their best gay friends. Since this is based on a long running TV series, I'm sure fans of the show found more significance to the scene than I did. In my eyes it was the most logical way to present Liza Minnelli as herself singing Beyoncé's "Single Ladies". It's a scene that can't be unseen, and I knew instantly that it would haunt me for the rest of the summer. Everyone at the wedding makes Carrie feel bored with her life now that she's settled down with Mr. Big (Chris Noth). The most bizarre way this is accomplished is by having a random couple tell them they will be lonely if they don't have children. Then wouldn't you know it, something ridiculous happens and the girls get flown to Abu Dhabi where they are treated like royalty all because some sheik wants Samantha work a PR campaign for his property. But don't worry, our leading ladies forget about any logical objective and proceed to flaunt what they got in the desert.
I realize this movie didn't have me in mind when it was created. This is my first experience with the girls of Sex and the City and from what I gathered I can see why an hour-long TV program running on premium cable would be a hit. These girls are rude, and vulgar, but they play off of each other like champs. When they are seated at a table gossiping is when Sex and the City 2 shows any hint of a shine. The problems then smudge that polish.
I've never seen so many costume changes. I'm convinced it's the driving point behind the narrative. Every scene is constructed to show what Carrie and the girls can put on then lead to another situation for them to dress up. No movie should be so shallow, and even worse they look flammable and toxic. I wasn't sure if the running gag is that Carrie doesn't know she looks like a low rent streetwalker, there's a sign of trouble if ever there was one.
No care is shown with the characters. Samantha sleeps with absolutely any guy regardless of the situation, and the outcome is too much to stomach. Miranda has a subplot about needing to balance work and family which gets lost in a sea of plunging necklines. Charlotte frets about her husband cheating on her with their nanny every 10 minutes. Lastly, Carrie is simply too selfish to be likable. She has a husband who seems to be doing a fantastic job by everyone else's standards. To her, he needs to do more and this sets her up for a lamebrain, and oddly predictable, encounter with an old flame.
The wanton excess of this movie leaves no doubt as to why the world hates us. Sex and the City 2 is a better terrorist motivational tool than it is an enjoyable time at the theatre. These girls are easily living the life in New York before the film takes its sweet time to send them to the Middle East where everything is ratcheted up to 11. They each get a personal Maybach 62 S so they can be chaffered to and from locations where they can offend locals and change clothes. There's an occasionally clever line but that won't vindicate watching it.