Milf Date (2008)

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22 September 2015 | lor_
Embarrassingly stupid porn -would have been better silent
Disliking the gonzo trend as I do doesn't mean I find stupid scenarios poorly executed to be acceptable, just because "they tried". 'Milf Date", with the word MILF printed without the usual all caps acronym on screen here, assumes the viewer is as retarded as, perhaps, the filmmakers.

With one exception, these are very young MILFs, self-identifying as say 27 or 30 years old, paired with guys who are roughly 30 or so, though they pretend to be college age. Essentially director Eddie Powell, a cameraman who leaves the camera credit entirely blank this time out, has decided that a MILF or Milf as he spells it, is merely a woman with large breasts.

That's okay, since I like many other viewers adore big jugs. On that level "Milf Date" is a success, with the rarely scene tattooed lady named Ricki Raxxx sporting huge, bouncy breasts on a tanned-all-over frame. Powell's low-angle camera magnifies the large breasts of co-star Lucky Benton admirably, and a rack jobber would definitely file this baby in the Busty section of the virtual video store.

(Parenthetically, IMDb gives Ricki a special dispensation for no apparent reason, allowing her full stage name Raxxx to be spelled out in the database, while I've got writer's cramp typing out the website's obligatory: (as Megan Coxxx) type listing for dozens of porn stars who went for triple X in their names. Go figure.)

The protagonists introduce themselves with their stage names = their character names and silly self-descriptions that make the whole thing not funny but stupid. Alex Gonz is chief offender (and victim of Powell's non-direction) improvising moronically; is this man a telemarketer proud of his inane pitches; or is he a whiny, pitiful flunky working as go-fer on film sets in L.A. or is he really an untalented porno actor with a big dick? It hardly matters, as long as he can deliver a money shot as needed.

Alan Stafford sheepishly hides behind the name Al, pretending to be an office plant waterer (yes, it's a gig - I witnessed the guy doing just that atop a tall ladder in our office tending to the hanging plants the very day I watched this video). He is four years older than his MILF partner Morgan Reigns, a pleasant enough but unimpressive actress whose brief list of credits doesn't include a single real storyline feature.

Hunter Bryce brings fake tits to the party, while the top actress in the bunch, Brenda James, is a trouper, pretending to be a brothel owner who inexplicably is paired with the Gonz in a final anti-climactic segment. Powell could have at least signed five guys for five vignettes instead of heaving Alex in our faces over & over & over.

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