The Happytime Murders (2018)

Maya Rudolph: Bubbles

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Banning : Is Phil in?

  Bubbles : He's servicing a client.

  [noises of Phil and Sandra having sex are heard] 

• Bubbles : [Connie tries to kick down a door and recoils in pain]  God, are you alright?

  Connie Edwards : I ruptured my hymen.

• Bubbles : I've been searching public records on Sandra White, and guess what I found? Nothing. There is no Sandra White before two years ago. She didn't exist. Can I have one of those bananas?

  Connie Edwards : What? No, you can't. No! And what do you mean she didn't exist? Everybody exists. Social security numbers, tax records.

  Bubbles : Nada. But I tailed her to a rat trap of an apartment in Hollywood.

  Connie Edwards : What's she doing in a Hollywood apartment? She's got a big place up in the Palisades.

• Bubbles : Do you know what they'll do to a puppet ex-cop in prison? They will tear out all of his stuffing and fill him back up with rice pilaf. And then they'll fuck it.

  Connie Edwards : Okay, just...

  Bubbles : They fuck that rice pilaf until it's more like a mashed potato.

  Connie Edwards : Okay.

  Bubbles : It's a term they call "pilafing".

  Connie Edwards : All right, all right, all right. Move. You think you're the only one thinking about this stuff?

  Bubbles : I think about pilafing all the time.

  Connie Edwards : I'm not talking about pilafing.

• Bubbles : You know, you gave me quite a scare there. I thought I was gonna lose you.

  Phil Philips : Sweetheart, you're never gonna lose me. Bubbles, hey, you know, I was thinking...

  Bubbles : You were?

  Phil Philips : Yeah. They broke the mold when they made you.

  Bubbles : They did?

  Phil Philips : And I'd like to take you out to dinner, you know, someplace special.

  Bubbles : You mean, like, on a date?

  Phil Philips : Yeah. Like a date.

• Connie Edwards : [startled upon finding Bubbles in her apartment]  Oh, God damn it. How the hell did you get in here?

  Bubbles : It was actually very easy. I just picked the lock. It took me, like, under a minute.

  Connie Edwards : Oh, great. Apparently, anybody who wants to can just walk right into my apartment.

• Connie Edwards : We've got ourselves a good old-fashioned nutjob.

  Bubbles : Jeez, this must have taken years. This is one sick fuck.

  Connie Edwards : She's got 'em all.

  Bubbles : Detective Edwards, look.

  Connie Edwards : Boy, she's got a real sweet spot for our boy Phil, huh?

  Bubbles : Oh, poor Mr. P. Oh, my God.

  Connie Edwards : Wait a minute.

  Bubbles : What a psycho.

  Connie Edwards : [picking up a framed picture]  What the hell is she doing with a picture of Jasper Jackabee and his daughter?

  Bubbles : Purple hair on a puppet, that's very rare.

  Connie Edwards : [remembering Agent Campbell's questioning of Sandra, she connects the dots]  Oh, my God. I guess the carpet does match the drapes.

  Bubbles : I knew this skirt was see-through. I just don't like wearing underwear. I don't like the way it feels.

  Connie Edwards : I'm not talking about you. Sandra White is Jackabee's daughter.

  Bubbles : What a fucking psycho bitch.

  Connie Edwards : This room is like a signed confession from her. Also proves that Phil is innocent. We got her.