Leslie David Baker credited as playing...
Lt. Banning
- Lt. Banning: Is Phil in?
- Bubbles: He's servicing a client.
- [noises of Phil and Sandra having sex are heard]
- Agent Campbell: Word on the street is that you did okay.
- Lt. Banning: Okay? Phil Philips is a goddamn hero.
- Phil Philips: Oh, no, no, no, Edwards is the hero. I just got a lucky shot off.
- Connie Edwards: Come on.
- Agent Campbell: No hard feelings?
- Phil Philips: Well, no, I still think you're an asshole.
- Connie Edwards: Asshole says what?
- Agent Campbell: What?
- Connie Edwards: [laughing with Phil] I said, "Asshole says what?". And you said...
- Phil Philips: And you said, "What?".
- Connie Edwards: 'Cause you're an asshole.
- Phil Philips: Yeah.
- Agent Campbell: What?
- Connie Edwards: [laughing again] Every time.
- Phil Philips: Yeah.
- Connie Edwards: Always works on assholes.
- Phil Philips: You can't actually like me for these murders.
- Agent Campbell: We like you very much for these murders.
- Phil Philips: What's my motive?
- Agent Campbell: The reason most men do stupid things. A woman.
- [he turns the lights off and a one-way mirror to an adjacent room opens]
- Agent Campbell: Enjoy the show.
- Phil Philips: [seeing Sandra inside] What the hell is she doing here?
- Connie Edwards: Who is that?
- Phil Philips: It's Sandra White. She's one of my clients.
- Lt. Banning: Actually, her name is Sandra Peterson. She walked into the federal building this morning and said you murdered her wife, Jenny Peterson.
- Phil Philips: Hey, I didn't murder anybody.
- Connie Edwards: I didn't know Jenny was even married.
- Phil Philips: Neither did I.
- Lt. Banning: [turning on the intercom] Let's listen in.
- Sandra: Well, he said that he killed them. The entire Happytime Gang, even his own brother.
- Phil Philips: What?
- Agent Campbell: And why would he do that?
- Sandra: We've been having an affair, and he wanted to run away together. He said he killed them all so that I would get my wife Jenny's share, and then I'd be rich, and he could have me all to himself.
- Phil Philips: I should have kept my fuzzy blue in my pants.
- Lt. Banning: Good work, you two. I knew you had it in you.
- Phil Philips: Oh, thanks, Lieutenant.
- Lt. Banning: Edwards, you're off suspension.
- Connie Edwards: Thanks, Lieu.
- Lt. Banning: And, Phil, I talked to the captain, and he put in a motion with the mayor's office to permanently repeal the Philips Code.
- Phil Philips: What?
- Lt. Banning: I know it's early, but... what the heck?
- [offering Phil his police shield]
- Lt. Banning: I've had this sitting in my desk, waiting for this day.
- Phil Philips: Wow.
- Connie Edwards: How about that? Far be it from me to compliment you, but you're the best damn cop I've ever seen.
- Phil Philips: Oh, well, you're no bag of shit, either.
- Connie Edwards: Well, you're a real fucking poet, aren't you? You asshole.
- Lt. Banning: You are both equally not bags of shit. In fact, when you're working together, you're two peas in a little fucked-up pod.