13 December 2011 | SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain
Santa Buddies (2009)
I've never seen an Air Bud movie. I know right? Insanity. But it's Christmas and so I just have to watch a ridiculous amount of Christmas movies, no matter how bad they are. This film just lays it out straight away. Santa and his dog (???) are walking (probably on the spot) in a painfully obvious CGI North Pole. Suddenly the dog talks, with a CGI mouth but a face as blank as a plank of wood. It turns out this is Santa Paws, the dog that delivers presents to all the good puppies in the world. Anyway, the Christmas spirit is dying, and this causes the North Pole to lose power. Puppy Paws, a little ragamuffin that just wants to be a normal puppy, sets off to learn from the Air Buddies. This film will be painful to anybody over the age of 6. Sometimes the animals, such as the reindeer, are completely CGI, but don't fit their surroundings at all. Christopher Lloyd plays a dog catcher named Crooge (I can't believe I'm typing this either). He stalks around like some kind of serial killer, but goes completely slapstick when he needs to catch a dog. The movie also contains a sick and possibly dying little boy, a vomit inducing song, and characters such as B-Dawg. He's a puppy. He break dances. Once again, something that seems to be a staple of kids movies, we have a protagonist that ruins everything. He breaks stuff, gets puppies in trouble, and so on. Why do kids films always have the message that it's OK to be an idiot? How about a character that uses common sense and has some social skills. He doesn't even learn a valuable lesson, those around him just have to accept him for who he is. The less said about the annoying voices the better, but one performance that simply can't be ignored is that of Santa. A supercut needs to be made of his reactions to terrible news. He's a lifeless soul in a film that aims for cute, but smashes through annoying.