The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)
Atari Jaguar: Part 2 (2009)
James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd
Quotes
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Green Face : Where did you learn to fly?
The Angry Video Game Nerd : [zaps the face away with the Super Scope] Where'd you learn to be an asshole?
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : This is the weirdest game I've ever played. I mean, it's not bad if you're drunk or high or something, but how did they come up with this shit? I got it. I could come up with a game like this. How about you're a shark, and you gotta shake palm trees til trains fall down, and you put the trains in an apple, and then turkeys come and eat the apples, and then the turkeys go up waterfalls, and to get them down, you have collect monkey butts, so you drop the monkey butts on powerlines, and...
[immitates his head exploding]
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : We've played some good games, some bad games, and overall... it makes me want to puke... like a cat.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : That's a fine looking design. It looks like a toilet! Yeah, it's a fucking toilet! What a perfect analogy!
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : [when the Jaguar logo beings to attack him, to his cat] Sick it, death kitty!
[his black cat begins to chase the logo]
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright, let's play some Jag!
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Was there any reason not to have music? Did they run out of time? Some may say it makes it scarier that way, but it would be nice if they had the option. I call this one "Silent Doom", so just turn on your Slayer, and you're all set to go.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : [after Richard's failed attempt] Well, thanks for trying, and thanks for the Pong console. Would you believe that a 30-year-old Pong console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a cutting edge snarling Jaguar doesn't? There's something wrong here, and you know, I blew $250 on this thing, so you know what I did? Bought another one. Yeah. And guess what. It doesn't work either! So that's about $450 total I blew on two dead Jaguars! And these things are rare, so when the only two that I'm able to get my hands on don't work, that means to me that these things are most definately self-aware! They don't want to work! You can't make them! They just refuse to be reviewed! And I've never had that happen! So, The End. I gotta take a shit.
