Wednesday (TV Series)

If You Don't Woe Me by Now (2022)

Jenna Ortega: Wednesday Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wednesday Addams : [after watching Legally Blonde]  That was torture. Thank you.

• Xavier Thorpe : You know what your problem is?

  Wednesday Addams : I would love to hear your piercing insight.

  Xavier Thorpe : You don't know who your real friends are. I've been on your side since day one. I literally saved your life. I believed your theories when nobody else did. And, like, what do I get in return? Just nothing but suspicion and lies.

  Wednesday Addams : Fine. You want honesty? Here it is. Every time the monster's attacked, you've been right there. Starting with Rowan at the Harvest Festival. Then, on Outreach Day, you arrived just minutes after the monster disappeared, yet you say you didn't see it.

  Xavier Thorpe : I didn't realize proximity was a crime.

  Wednesday Addams : Then there's your drawing obsession. You have drawn the monster dozens of times, yet you've never seen it. Or so you claim. You even drew where it lived. Then when Eugene went to investigate, you tried to kill him so he wouldn't spill your secret.

  Xavier Thorpe : You think I would hurt Eugene?

  Wednesday Addams : Let's not forget your oh-so-convenient appearance after Tyler had been attacked at the Gates mansion.

  Xavier Thorpe : If I am the monster... then why haven't I killed you?

  Wednesday Addams : [hesitates]  Because for some reason I cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me.

  [pause] 

  Xavier Thorpe : [coldly]  What's to like?

• Wednesday Addams : Thing. If you can hear me... if you die, I will kill you.

• Enid Sinclair : Sorry, I figured you were still at Mayor Walker's wake.

  Wednesday Addams : As soon as the dirt hits the coffin, I'm out.

• Wednesday Addams : I almost killed you.

  Tyler Galpin : I survived.

  Wednesday Addams : Beginner's luck.

• Wednesday Addams : Of course the first boy I kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster. I guess I have a type.

• Wednesday Addams : I enjoy funerals. I've been crashing them since I was old enough to read the obituary section.

• Wednesday Addams : This place belongs to a friend.

  Uncle Fester : You've actually made a friend. That poor kid will be going home in a body bag.

• Wednesday Addams : If you are discovered, I will disown you and collect the reward tied to your capture.

  Uncle Fester : I'd expect nothing less.

• Enid Sinclair : Enjoy your solitude, Wednesday.

  Wednesday Addams : It's not solitude if you're still here.

• Wednesday Addams : How long have you been lurking?

  Uncle Fester : Long enough to feel the tension between you two. Yowza! Seriously, you could cut it with an executioner's axe.

• Marilyn Thornhill : Part of the dorm experience is making friends with people that you wouldn't normally connect with. And those friendships often turn into lifelong bonds.

  Wednesday Addams : I would rather buy a rope.

• Wednesday Addams : I'm not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material. I will ignore you, stomp on your heart, and always put my needs and interests first.

• Wednesday Addams : Maybe next time steal something a little less conspicuous.

  Uncle Fester : Where's the fun in that?

• Wednesday Addams : I guess I'll see you at your arraignment or the next family reunion.

  Uncle Fester : You'll always be my favorite, Wednesday.

  Wednesday Addams : Be sure to tell Pugsley that. It'll give him a complex.

• Dr. Valerie Kinbott : I'm going to recommend you stay in a juvenile psychiatric facility.

  Wednesday Addams : Oh, please. You and I both know I'd be running that place in a week.