Aquaman

There was embarrassing writing, embarrassing acting, and listening to Amber Heard trying to deliver this terrible dialogue with zero inflection was exhausting. Why does half of the population of Atlantis sound like they're from California? The dialogue was never more than cliche with a predictable plot. The "advanced ancient civilization hidden away from the world" trope is already old. There was so much CGI that none of the action ever felt impressive or tense or real. Any time someone said "Ocean Master" with a straight face I wanted to laugh.

This would've been the perfect movie to not take itself too seriously, go for a more lighthearted and irreverent tone like Thor Ragnarok, but they just try so hard. It has none of the superhero charm that Marvel manages to carry over from the comics and thus you have one very long boring slog.

How many scenes did we need where a quiet moment was interrupted by an exploding wall that didn't hurt anybody? I counted three or four. Also, that paint-by-numbers forced romance - "Wow there was a surprise and now we're accidentally holding hands", "Wow there was an explosion or something and I grabbed you " - give me a break. And whoever put together the soundtrack for this film should be summarily executed.

Everything I saw, read and heard about 'Aquaman' before it came out had me convinced it wouldn't be my cup of tea. My impression was that this would be yet another bloated studio tentpole with cheesy dialog, a generic story and artificial looking CGI. However, once it opened, a passionate film fan I respect a lot started spreading so much obviously genuine enthusiasm for the movie that I eventually got over myself and watched it.

I think it was the moment when Nicole Kidman swallowed a goldfish that I started to suspect I might actually enjoy this movie. That suspicion, however, turned out to be wrong, because I didn't just enjoy it: I ended up ADORING it. The weirdest thing: the film DID contain all those elements I had feared - and yet none of that seemed to matter. It just works. It shouldn't, but it somehow does, which is why I've since come to the conclusion that director James Wan is some sort of genius wizard filmmaker. Don't let the generic superhero tropes and cheesy dialog fool you into thinking this was a typical mainstream movie (though I DO suspect those things managed to fool the studio executives into thinking exactly that: which is probably how James Wan got away with it), because in truth, this is the least generic, most bonkers big budget studio flick I've seen in ages. It's the film 'Valerian' wants to be. It's crazy; it's over-the-top; it's beautifully designed with incredible attention to every little detail in every frame; it doesn't take itself seriously for a second, and yet it fully commits to - and loves - its characters and the world they inhabit.

I was awed, literally awed by the design of the Atlantian society and technology; the worldbuilding and visuals are so distinct and original - which caught me completely off guard, because I didn't expect that in a 200 million studio picture for the masses. When the music score went into full synthesizer mode as "Aquabro" and Mera arrive on the collapsed bridge leading to the underwater city, and the screen virtually explodes with the most colorful creatures and underwater vehicles imaginable, I had a stupid grin on my face out of pure joy and adoration for this stunning display of artistic vision (the stupid grin stayed on my face for the remainder of the movie). And the film didn't let up. 'Aquaman' never loses steam; there's no weak third act (at least in my opinion); the wondrous discoveries and beautiful, unexpected designs and creatures keep coming until the very end. Although it has a very different tone, I was actually reminded of watching 'LOTR: The Return of the King' for the first time.

It's true, 'Aquaman' delivers the typical, clichéd, cheesy superhero tropes in spades, but those generic story beats - some of which were probably demanded by the studio - seem to be all surface; they're not what James Wan (or his characters) are really interested in. It almost seems to me that the director only used those tropes as camouflage to sneak in nods to every film of every genre he ever loved and get really creative with the worldbuilding. His biggest accomplishment, however - the film's greatest strength - is something that only few blockbusters ever achieve: he successfully combines a genuine sense of wonder and awe with complete, unabashed fun.

So, to sum up this review: against my expectations, the superhero film I least expected to like managed to do what not a single superhero movie so far had done for me; it filled me with an urge to immediately see it again, because I was so in love with its bonkers, "everything-but-the-kitchen-sink" approach to filmmaking. Naturally, I now hope James Wan will also direct 'Aquaman 2', as I'm sure if given the chance, next time not even the kitchen sink will be safe.

P.S. (for new IMDb users): In case you don't know whether to trust this review or not, because you have no idea what my tastes in film are, just click on my username - gogoschka-1 - and you'll see what my favorite movies are.

There is no reason that I know for why Aquaman turned into the modern CGI version of The Little Mermaid, liberally mixed with Aladdin and The Lion King. I mean, yeah, Black Panther was mostly Lion King, but it was interesting and fun and the world building was not bad. Aquaman feels cartoonish from the start to the very end. The pointless CGI, Heard's horrible wig, all the fairy tale characters that seek to show us how they are superior to people on the surface who have grown up reading about single dimensional characters like them, the predictability that one can find in children stories only. To be honest, the feeling I have most about this film is outrage. It is condescending and dumb. It's the Hollywood version of Homer telling Bart he's stupid.

And then there is the cast. Jason Momoa, who I liked in Atlantis, the Stargate one, because he was supposed to have only one dimension. Amber Heard, who hasn't had a good role in ages and sporting that eye soar of a bad wig, Nicole Kidman and Willem Dafoe getting their paychecks. And Dolph Ludgren? WTF? The main character of this story was Patrick Wilson's, he had the most relevant scenes, he was the only one who actually looked like he gave a damn about his performance. He is the true king of the film!

Bottom line, it was so dumb it was offensive.

The first half set the scene for a better second half. The second half was 8+ stars, no doubt. They could have been released separately, but it was a bold choice to show it like this. The quick pace definitely took a toll on the story but it's still a good one. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

What's with the 10 out of 10 reviews? really?. Sure it's probably the best (or second best) DC Justice league era, but that's not difficult. Like all the other offerings, it's overblown, wooden, one dimensional and over reliant on over the top CGI. As a child I was always a DC fan and I want them more than anything to bring this thing together, but Marvel have certainly laid down a tough marker for how it should be and DC still haven't met that challenge. The main thing missing from the film is charm and simplicity, sure Momoa just about saves the day and I think he can develop Aquaman into a loved character, and the film is a step in the right direction. But 10 out of 10 it most certainly isn't.