The Retirement Plan

This movie straddles the line between campy spoof and dark comedy, and pretty much misses the mark on both. Although there is indeed some hilarity throughout, the convoluted criminality with absurd layers of hyper espionage makes it mostly a mish-mash mess of meandering maladjustments. It coulda shoulda woulda been much funnier except for the stilted direction, wasting some fine supporting actors. It might be worthy of a second viewing with the expectation of nothing more than nonsensical silliness which it does deliver as only a Cage movie can all the way through to what has to be an intentionally inept ending.

Nicolas Cage films are always a hit or a miss, his entire career actually. This is a film that without it's charming cast or it's neatly interwoven storyline would have been a total dumpster fire. Therefore making it a perfect Nicolas Cage film.

The acting ranges vastly from silly to serious, same goes for the films tone. It bounces between funny and dramatic in an instant and it's never sure which one to settle on. However, again with the films strange charm, it's all somehow inexplicably smoothed over in the end.

Overall, I'm surprised I enjoyed it. Most of the film feels like a made for tv special but for some strange reason, I kept wanting to watch til the very end. Am I glad I did? I'm not sure yet, but I do know it was an entertaining way to waste an afternoon.

3 flash drives out of 5.

My A$$ Nicholas Cage has a retirement plan. He will star in his own embalming video: "This fluid is colder than my blood and smells bad but I guess that's what ppl do....... anyway it's seeping into my cranium now so gotta run. Think of me come Oscar & Golden (plated) Globe time! It was great staying active so long!! I SHOULD HAVE won something for Raising Arizona, & didn't. Shouldn't have won for leaving Los Vegas, although Elizabeth Shue should have. "The Golden (plated) Globes and Oscars should be talent/performance-based, NOT a popularity contest. In all seriousness this movie was funny for Nic Cage standards. He can be anything from outstanding to horse-dookie depending on the script and direction. For example watch "City of Angels" in which he (and Meg Ryan) made a far reaching sctript into an emotional, into genius work.

I dunno - it's the same type of thing he puts out a half dozen times a year. Watch at own risk.

The Retirement Plan is directed by Tim Brown and stars Nicolas Cage, Ashley Greene, Ron Perlman, Jackie Earle Haley and Ernie Hudson.

This is the fourth Nicolas Cage movie of the year following The Old Way, Renfield and Sympathy For The Devil it's not his last either as he has A24's upcoming Dream Scenario (which has been getting great buzz from TIFF by the way) dropping in early November.

Unfortunately The Retirement Plan isn't that good and it's mostly entirely carried by Nicolas Cage who never turns in a bad performance or phones any role in. Sadly this feels more like an excuse for the cast/ crew to take a mini vacation to the Cayman Islands for a week or two then for a good reason to even make this movie. It's fun and good enough for a one time watch but that's about it.

The best things that The Retirement Plan has going for it all hinge on the inherent comedic edge of its wacky premise. Sadly, these things are hardly ever the focus.

In fact, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen almost every good moment in this movie.

A handful of impressive moments arise when the great Nic Cage is allowed to flex his humorous energy as he kills people in hilarious fashion, and these moments were the one saving grace that kept the movie watchable.

Sadly, for most of the runtime, we're treated to a whole lot of nothing.

It's very poorly directed, having all the style of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie. And the script gives the characters absolutely nothing of interest to do and no intriguing interactions to have as they fumble their way through this generic, convoluted, banal, creatively bankrupt story without an ounce of a soul.

Oh, and the music sucks too. I'd be shocked if it all wasn't just stock action-movie music pulled off of iMovie.