Detective Marcus Burnett: I'mma penetrate this man's soul wit my heart.

Detective Mike Lowrey: What?

[from trailer]

Detective Mike Lowrey: What happened to "bad boys for life"?

Detective Marcus Burnett: It's time we be good men.

Detective Mike Lowrey: Who the *fuck* wants to sing that song?

Detective Mike Lowrey: I've never trusted anybody but you. I'm asking you, man. Bad Boys, one last time?

Detective Marcus Burnett: One last time.

[the rookie cops start singing 'Bad Boys' in front of Lowrey and Burnett]

Detective Mike Lowrey: Hey, hey hey! Hey! Uh-uh! No! No! Never. Y'all will never do that again.

Detective Marcus Burnett: Yeah, and you fucking up the lyrics, which take a long time to learn.

Detective Marcus Burnett: Do you want your legacy to be muscle shirts and body counts?

[Lowrey gets out of his Porsche 911. Burnett opens the passenger door and accidentally hits a fire hydrant]

Detective Mike Lowrey: Hey!

Detective Marcus Burnett: [struggling to get out while banging the door on the fire hydrant] Oh, shit! Oh!

Detective Mike Lowrey: Come on, man!

Detective Marcus Burnett: You can get that buffed out.

Detective Mike Lowrey: No. You can get that buffed out.

Detective Marcus Burnett: We're not just black, we're cops too! We'll pull ourselves over later!

Detective Marcus Burnett: [during a heated argument with Mike] How DARE You... I sat by your bedside wiped the goddamn drool of your chin and Now YOU Disrespect Me like that in my own home?

Detective Mike Lowrey: Hey, nobody touches the shooter - He's mine!

Detective Marcus Burnett: Uh, yes he is..

Captain Howard: The horse represents all of our fears and traumas and it's got us running around a hundred miles an hour to the point where we can't even answer a simple question: Where are you going? Where are you going Mike? Mike, you gotta take control of your life. You gotta grab the reins before your horse runs you off a cliff.

Captain Howard: Look at all this carnage!

Mike: Aw come on Cap, I didn't do all this shit. They did this to each other.

Captain Howard: Wait, wait. You didn't shoot anybody?

Mike: Well, come on Cap, you know I shot somebody.

Marcus: [after putting on his glasses] Shit! This is like HD!

Mike: [to Manny] Did you just get pig fat on my suit?

Marcus: It's like an angry white man's basement in here!

Mike: [Marcus starts to cry while holding his grandchild] Uh uh. Ok, that's that shit.

Marcus: No, Mike.

Mike: Stop it.

Marcus: The baby...

Mike: Seriously!

Marcus: Look at the baby...

Mike: OK, you know what? I'll be outside when you get your shit together.


Marcus: [still emotional] Mike, the baby...

Marcus: You're dying your goatee, Mike

Mike: What?

Marcus: You're dying your goatee.

Mike: I'm not dying my goatee.

Marcus: Yeah, that's Midnight Cocoa Bean, I recognise that shit.

[first lines]

Marcus: [speeding through the streets of Miami] MIKE!

Mike: Whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!

Marcus: What the hell are you doing?

Mike: It's called driving, Marcus.