Man, this movie completely sucked balls. I can't think of a worse movie I've ever seen. Easily the most predictable movie ever. Will Smith gets badly shot 10 minutes into the movie...is he gonna make it through?!?! Aw, man, no way...he made it! You don't say! Martin Lawrence..."No, no no, I'm not helping you any more Mike Lowery...I made a promise to God...No, no, no...I'm retired" - I looked over at my buddy at one point and I said "Uh...I think he's gonna help". It was really that pathetically predictable.
And, wow, Martin Lawrence...at one point on set, the crew thought they were going to have call the paramedics because Lawrence was having trouble inhaling -- a pizza! He's so fat now, he jumped in the air for an action scene and got stuck! I'm serious...on the running/action scenes, you won't see Lawrence for more than 5 seconds straight, most likely due to being out of breath. I think he took the Cypress Hill lyric "Fat boy on diet, don't try it" to extremes! At one point when Lawrence was walking away on a wooden floor, It sounded like an orchestra of squeaky nails and groaning floorboards playing him out of the room!
Back to the "plot"...Lawrence whines throughout the movie about a promise he made to God. It seemed unlikely than a rather non-religious, non-churchgoer like Lawrence would be risking losing his friendship (and his friend's life because he was in danger) based on some mumbling he did while that buddy was in the hospital. Of course, Lawrence broke his promise to God at the end anyway because he did the Mr. Miyagi ("No fighting, no fighting, no fighting...ok, go ahead and fight") and predictably went back into action again. So dumb.
Rewind to the start of the "movie", Smith and Lawrence are driving like lunatics, being chased by cops, driving backwards through red lights and heavy traffic...they're trying to make you think the boys are in a dangerous situation...just to find out that Smith was driving Lawrence to the hospital to see his newly born Grandson. What?! They were driving full speed on a public beach for crying out loud! Risked many lives, including the lives of cops and women and children, just to hold a frickin' baby?! If it was so important, why wasn't Lawrence at the hospital when the mother was first admitted?!
Then, a few minutes later, someone who turns out to be Mike Lowery's, well, um, no-black whatsoever Mexican son (yes) is doing some sort of criminal deal and he gets guns pulled out on him. Guy standing right in front of him with a gun, another guy standing off to the side. You'd think these guys with the guns would be pretty jumpy/trigger-happy at this point. But what happens? Well, he pulls out a knife from his belt and with hypersonic speed, stabs the guy in front of him with the gun and then stabs the guy to the side who had a gun on him. Who in the hell is so slow with a trigger that they're not going to be able to fire on someone who's pulling out a knife and taking time stabbing your friend?! Even the guy in front of him...really bro, you can't get off a shot before someone reaches to their belt and swings at you with a knife?! If not...Was Will Smith's son a superhero or something?! How could he move in fast-forward speed like that?!
My favorite part is when the police team is gathered and is strategizing and they need the employee work schedule of 3 different bars. The computer guy is asked to break into their networks. He says "Boy, Joey's bar really needs to upgrade their network", he clicks about 3 keys on the keyboard, and voila...not only Joey's schedule comes up, but all 3 bars! How did he hack into 3 different networks at once?! He did he hack into ANY business network with just a few keystrokes?! How did he bring up the 3 work schedules from 3 different companies on 3 different monitors in a matter of seconds and with just a few keystrokes?! And if Joey's network was so bad...what does it say about the other 2 business networks...he got into those quicker than Joey's!!
The movie is filled with one-liners that don't land, crying and religion from Lawrence, and numerous "I'm gonna kill you after I say this one thing..." then that person gets shot from behind type of thing. If Smith's and Lawrence's enemies had simply cut the chit-chat, the pair would have been dead at many points.
At the very very end...Smith decides his no-black-in-him-whatsoever-son deserves a 2nd chance (after killing a half dozen FBI agents, one being one his best friends, and other cops with a sniper rifle) and the pair hug and make up. Ugh, I wanted to barf so bad. Then we find out the black Smith was, get this, on an undercover team infiltrating a Mexican gang...what?! They couldn't tell he wasn't Mexican?! How in the world did he pull that off???
This movie stunk like rotten cabbage. Cliches galore. "Hip" cops even though they're over 50 years old a piece. Predictable. Bad acting. It's little wonder they brought this out in January instead of July. Like I said...Might be the worst movie I've ever seen.