Ryan Gosling credited as playing...
- Ken: To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't just about horses, I lost interest.
- Ken: I thought I might stay over tonight.
- Barbie: Why?
- Ken: Because we're girfriend and boyfriend.
- Barbie: To do what?
- [pause]
- Ken: I'm actually not sure.
- Ken: I'm just Ken and I'm enough / And I'm great at doing stuff.
- Ken: Does the label "long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend" mean nothing to her?
- Ken: Is it just me or did these mojo dojo casa houses just get a whole lot dreamier?
- Barbie: That's because they're Dreamhouses, motherf-
- [last syllable is bleeped out and mouth is covered by the Mattel logo]
- Barbie: I do not have a vagina and he does not have a penis. We have no genitals.
- Ken: I have *all* the genitals!
- Ken: I'll play the guitar at you.
- Ken: Yeah, because actually, my job... it's just beach.
- Barbie: And what a great job you do at beach!
- [as Barbie leaves Barbie Land, she finds Ken in her car]
- Barbie: What are you doing here?
- Ken: I'm coming with you!
- Barbie: Did you bring your rollerblades?
- Ken: [holds up his blades] I literally go nowhere without them!
- Doctor: No, I won't let you do just one appendectomy.
- Ken: But I'm a man.
- Doctor: But not a doctor.
- Ken: Can I talk to a doctor?
- Doctor: You are talking to a doctor.
- Ken: I need a clicky pen.
- Doctor: No.
- Ken: A sharpy thing?
- Doctor: No.
- Ken: [as he walks toward a male doctor] There he is.
- Doctor: Somebody get security.
- Ken: I just don't know who I am without you.
- Barbie: You're Ken.
- Ken: But it's Barbie and Ken. There's no just Ken. That's why I was created. I only exist within the warmth of your gaze. Without it, I'm just a little blond guy who can't do flips.
- Ken: [Puts on a pair of sunglasses] Every night is boy's night.
- [Puts on a second pair of sunglasses]
- Ken: You guys aren't doing patriarchy very well.
- Corporate Man: We're actually doing patriarchy very well
- [lowers voice]
- Corporate Man: ... we're just better at hiding it.
- Ken: [singing] I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten! Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?
- Ken: Do you want to be my bride wife, or my long term long distance low commitment casual girlfriend?
- Ken: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Ken!
- Barbie: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Barbie!
- Ken: Hi, Barbie!
- Barbie: Hi, Ken!
- Ken: Hi, Ken.
- Ken: What if there's beach? You'll need a professional in that.
- Ken: [walks out of shot] ... Sublime!
- Ken: [Through tears, on his knees, looking at his hands] Ken... is... me?
- [Looks up at Barbie who nods encouragingly]
- Ken: Ken... is me.
- [Stands boldy, shouting defiantly]
- Ken: Ken is me!
- Ken: I'll see you on the Malibu Beach!
