Killing Bono (2011)

Robert Sheehan: Ivan McCormick

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ivan McCormick : You made the worst decision of my life!

• Ivan McCormick : So, fill me in, brother, how much are we into Danny Machin for?

  Neil McCormick : All in all? Thirteen grand. Give or take.

  Ivan McCormick : Thirteen grand? What is that? Five grand a kneecap and three for our heads?

  Neil McCormick : ...That doesn't add up, Ivan.

• Neil McCormick : Hello? Hi, where is Hammond?

  Rick : Are you the new runners?

  Neil McCormick : No, no no, of course we are not the new runners. We're the McCormicks! We're Hammond's new act, we're just here to sign the old contracts.

  Rick : Hammond is history. Axed. Kept spunking cash into Kajagoogoo. I'm the new Hammond.

  Neil McCormick : No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What was the last thing he said before he left?

  Rick : Let me think uh... "I'm gonna sue you bastards right through the arsehole". Then he sort of... broke down. It was all very uncool.

  Ivan McCormick : Yeah but he did tell you about our deal?

  Neil McCormick : And the fifty grand advance?

  Rick : Oh yeah... it's ringing bells. Ding-a-ling-ling! But I would say a hundred's more realistic.

  Ivan McCormick : [surprised]  A hundred grand?

  Rick : Yeah! I'll tell you what: You boys will look fucking fantastic on camera! We'll do you a video to rival Duran Duran.

  Neil McCormick : Ok, yeah!

  Rick : And we'll shoot it ON THE MOON!

  Ivan McCormick : What? Really?

  Rick : NO! Not really! In fact, I'll tell you why you boys will never be signed to this label. You look like a pair of mental fortune tellers from a gypsy fair. And Hammond liked you, therefore, I hate you! I wouldn't sign you to this label if you paid me a hundred grand and let me John Paul Pope your mother.

• Neil McCormick : *He* has got everything he ever wanted.

  Ivan McCormick : No, he's got everything that *you* ever wanted.