17 March 2011 | Matt_Layden
Terrible from start to finish.
Samuel L. Jackson once said in the film Changing Lanes to Ben Affleck...."I Want My Time Back!!" That's how I feel after watching this mess of a horrid film.
Siren is a "horror" film in which three friends take a boat trip to get away from the city. They spot a man on an island and rescue him, he soon dies on their boat. The motor on their boat has been fried and they decide to stay on the island over night. While on the island they run into a woman, who seems frightened, disoriented and can't seemed to remember things. She is beautiful and her beauty grabs the attention of the three characters, even the female. She turns out to be a siren, of Greek mythology. A beautiful woman who would lure men to the island through song. Death was brought upon them.
Argh, this film has an interesting cover design. A woman holding a knife in a bikini. There were two other women on each side of her, also in bikinis. The back cover of the DVD has yet another woman in a bikini. The tagline read an exotic tale of lust and revenge. Sex and horror, two great elements that go together. With a little bit a Greek mythology sprinkled in, I expected this film to be at the very least tolerable. Boy, was I ever wrong.
First, if the poster excites you, don't. This is a classic case of never judge a book by it's cover. Siren will try to lure you in with the promise of sex, blood and horror. The film never has a moment of these things. The film starts off with two characters pretending to be strangers, to spice up their relationship apparently. It fails because the woman has visions of some blonde person, whom we later find out to be the siren. They have sex, successfully on the boat, never exciting during the scene though. The siren has many scenes where she kisses the woman, I have no idea why. Maybe it was a cheap attempt at luring in young boys?
The back of the cover on the DVD is also wrong with the description of the film. It says they spot a seductive sultry woman on an island, this is incorrect. They spot some bearded man ramblings on in gibberish. It isn't till they bury him on the island do they see the woman, whom is neither seductive or sultry. We are treated to a bunch of scenes where the characters see things that aren't really there. The question of what is real and what isn't is raised, but you'll never be interested enough to care.
I'm expected to believe that the one character was in love with the other, except that he's upset about a 'hot friend' not making the trip. He also tries to have a three way with this new woman, just more fuel to the aggravating fire. Please, even a fifth grader can come up with better characterization than that. The third character, Marco, was pointless. Just another person to fill up the 80 minutes running time. He likes the woman that is dating the guy, but it never leads anywhere.
How do people die? The siren sings and they bleed from their ears. That is it. Excitement level is at an all time low here. Don't even get me started on the obvious and completely inane ending. This is not a horror film, I would call it suspense if anything...it even fails at that though.