Michelinman Mike: Oh, God. It was... you know what? You should come with us next time.

Michelinman Mitch: No, man. I don't like zoos.

Michelinman Mike: Aw, man. But the kids go apeshit for it.

Michelinman Mitch: Yeah, well, I don't see my kids that much. Besides, it's depressing.

Michelinman Mike: What? Getting up close to animals? I mean, where the hell else you going to get that close to a cheetah?

Michelinman Mitch: Yeah, that cheetah can run like a motherfucker, but in a zoo, they ain't got enough room to hit second gear. I mean, it ain't like they're in their natural habitat.

Michelinman Mike: Yeah, no shit, man. That's cause they'd be dead if they were in their natural habitat. These animals have been rescued. Usually injured or something in like the, you know the wild, or blind.

Michelinman Mitch: No shit?

Michelinman Mike: No shit.

Michelinman Mitch: See? I didn't know that.

Michelinman Mike: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Michelinman Mitch: That's even more depressing. That's what I'm talking about. A blind ass cheetah bumping into trees and shit. That shit's fucked up.

Michelinman Mike: I didn't say the cheetah was blind.

Michelinman Mitch: Well then what's blind?

Michelinman Mike: N-nothing's blind. It's just an example.

Michelinman Mitch: Well then that's a fucked up example of some shit right there, man. That's what I'm talking about. Blind cheetahs and shit.

Michelinman Mike: [after getting berated by his boss] Captain Douchebag.

M&Ms: Godness! Where is a cop when you need one?