31 January 2013 | chow913
Mask Maker Mask Maker Make Me A Mask
The fact that any reviewer here can give it more than 2 stars proves they are fake reviews implanted by the studio.
This slasher flick isn't gouge your eyes out horrible but it's only worth seeing to laugh at how the slasher genre is. In other words, it's a drinking game MST3K movie.
'Mask Maker' embodies all the (bad) stereotypes of slasher flicks.
A young couple buy a southern plantation for only $10,000 since the local yokels think it's haunted. As with every slasher film IT IS and the local yokels try and warn the kids. Most amusingly the local yokels are played by comedian Terry Kiser/Bernie and Lomax Michael Berryman 'The Hills Have Eyes'. Surprising this walking dead duo aren't playing the bad guys. Make no mistake, they are the best (only) actors in the whole film.
"Whatever you do, don't dig up the backyard." they warn. Of course what's the second thing the kids do? Dig up the backyard right where the deformed serial killer's body is kept buried by an Amerid mojo.
I'm not letting this go. Since it's established that the plantation is "14 acres" is size, it's really really really bad luck that they find the exact spot and start digging it up! Also, who digs up their own yard? I've never even dug up my own yard! Several other plot elements are so bizarre that it's impossible to tell if they were intentionally added to show the characters' stupidity. Or if they were merely the result of the "writers" own stupidity.
For example, the first thing they say when moving in is, "There's no electricity? That's odd. I make sure the power company turned it back on." Or words to that effect. Okay, when the power company turns the electricity back on the breakers must be in the "off" position. Hence, after power is restored they must be turned to the "on" position. They should said, "There's no electricity? Let's find the breaker box." Second, although the plantation is supposed to have been abandoned for 30+ years it's amazingly well maintained with clean windows and even fresh paint.
Third, in a silly twist the property turns out to be worth a cool $1,000,000 even due to a wine cellar with wine bottles dating back to at least 1864. What kind of paper and ink left in a rotting basement stays legible for 146 YEARS? NONE! Fourth, the property has the working plumbing necessary to for the nude bathing scene. WTF!!!? AGAIN! The plantation would have been on a septic system which will build up toxic fumes if the plumbing is not used on a regular basis. After 30+ it would be ridiculous to think that anyone would even be able to breath in doors, let alone have working plumbing.
Fifth, this isn't actually bad writing but just bad film making. When the couple drive down the freeway in their convertible there's bad blue screening and no wind. Yes, no wind. Their hair doesn't move in the first scene, but it does in the second. WTF? Anyway...... the couple invites over more young dumb friends to help them fix up the place. Let's face it, if it looks this good after being completely abandoned for 30+ years there's nothing to fix up. IT HAS FRESH PAINT! The fornication and drunkenness of the friends gives ample opportunities for the psycho slasher to kill the kids and use their faces for masks. Wow, scary. How with they stop him? He isn't scary, he's just a deformed guy with an axe. Sure he can't stay dead but all they have to do is run away and never return to the plantation. All that fresh paint and wine isn't worth losing your life over.
In conclusion, unless you're planning to drink heavily with some friends while laughing, there is no reason to ever ever ever see the horrible film making in 'Mask Maker.' The fact that any reviewer here can give it more than 2 stars proves they are fake reviews implanted by the studio. Any real viewer wouldn't be sober enough to write a positive review.