The Doctor: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

Young Amy: Yes.

The Doctor: Everything's going to be fine.

The Doctor: C'mon, then! The Doctor will see you now!

Atraxi: [after scanning The Doctor] You are not of this world.

The Doctor: No but I've put a lot work into it.

Atraxi: Is this world important?

The Doctor: Important? What's that mean, important? Six billion people live here, is that important? Here's a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Oh come on, you're monitoring the whole planet! Is this world a threat?

Atraxi: [after looking at a montage of world events] No.

The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?

Atraxi: [after viewing another montage about earth] No.

The Doctor: Okay. One more, just one: is this world protected?

[as the Atraxi views a montage of all the aliens who have attacked humanity in some way]

The Doctor: You're not the first to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them?

[Atraxi looks at a montage of the past ten Doctors. The Doctor steps through the montage when the 10th Doctor is shown]

The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically. Run.

The Doctor: I am definitely a madman with a box!

Young Amy: I'm not scared!

The Doctor: Course you're not, you're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of a box, man eats fish custard! And look at you... just sitting there. So you know what I think?

Young Amy: What?

The Doctor: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.

Young Amy: You're soaking wet.

The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.

Young Amy: You said you were in the library.

The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

The Doctor: Hello. I'm The Doctor. Basically... run.

Rory: Amy, he's taking his clothes off.

The Doctor: Turn your back if it embarrasses you.

Rory: Are you stealing clothes now? Those clothes belong to people you know.

[turns around]

Rory: [to Amy] Are you not going to turn your back?

Amy Pond: [gazing intently at The Doctor] Nope.

[Amy begins cooking]

The Doctor: Ahh! Bacon!

[the Doctor eats the bacon, then promptly spits it out]

The Doctor: That's bacon! Are you trying to poison me?

[Amy begins cooking again]

The Doctor: Beans!

[the Doctor eats the fried beans, and promptly spits them out]

The Doctor: Beans are evil. Bad bad beans.

[Amy butters a slice of plain bread]

The Doctor: Bread and butter! Now you're talking.

[the Doctor runs outside and flings the bread and butter out]

The Doctor: And stay out!

The Doctor: [seeing what Jeff was watching on his computer] Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.

Mrs Angelo: Amy, who is your friend?

The Doctor: Who's Amy? You were Amelia!

Amy Pond: Yeah, now I'm Amy!

The Doctor: Amelia Pond - that was a great name!

Amy Pond: Bit fairy tale.

Mrs Angelo: I know you, don't I?

The Doctor: Not me - brand new face

[Pulls a funny face]

The Doctor: First time on. And what sort of job is a kissogram?

Amy Pond: I go to parties, and I... kiss people. With outfits. It's a laugh!

The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!

Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt!

[Turns to Mrs Angelo]

The Doctor: And that is *not* how I'm introducing myself!

Amy Pond: And you kept the clothes.

The Doctor: Well I just saved the world... the whole planet for about the millionth time, no charge, yeah, shoot me, I kept the clothes.

Amy Pond: Including the bow tie.

The Doctor: Yeah, it's cool, bow ties are cool.

Amy Pond: Are you from another planet?

The Doctor: Yeah.

Amy Pond: Okay...

The Doctor: So what do you think?

Amy Pond: What?

The Doctor: Other planets. Wanna check some out?

The Eleventh Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, cos it's important, and one day your life may depend on it.

[He smiles]

The Eleventh Doctor: I am definitely a madman with a box.

Young Amy: What is it? What's wrong with you?

The Doctor: Wrong with me? It's not my fault, why can't you give me any decent food! You're Scottish, fry something!

Amy Pond: Will that door hold it?

The Doctor: Oh yeah, yeah, course! It's an interdimensional multi-form from outer space, they're all 'terrified' of wood!

The Doctor: [On the phone to the Atraxi] Oi! I didn't say you could go! Article 57 of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established, Level 5, planet, and you were going to burn it? What...? Did you think no one was watching? You lot, back here, now!

[Ends the call and tosses phone to Rory]

The Doctor: Ok. Now I've done it!

Rory: Did he just bring them back? Did he just save the world from aliens, and then bring all the aliens back again?

The Doctor: No TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare... Who da man?

[blank stares from Prisoner Zero, Rory, and Amy]

The Doctor: [Mumbling] Oh, it's, I'm never saying that again, fine!

The Doctor: I know what I need! I need... I need... I need... fish fingers and custard!

The Doctor: How many rooms?

Amy Pond: I'm sorry, what?

The Doctor: On this floor, how many rooms? Count them for me now.

Amy Pond: Why?

The Doctor: Because it will change your life.

Amy Pond: [pause] Five. One, two, three, four, five

The Doctor: Six.

Amy Pond: Six?

The Doctor: Look.

Amy Pond: Look where?

The Doctor: Exactly where you don't want to look, where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you.

The Doctor: Do I just have a face that nobody listens to? Again.

[seeing his new TARDIS for the first time]

The Doctor: Look at you. Oh, you sexy thing, look at you!

The Eleventh Doctor: Hello, I'm the Doctor.

The Eleventh Doctor: Basically, RUN.

The Doctor: These are all coma patients?

Rory: Yeah

The Doctor: No, they're all the multiform. Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero

Amy Pond: He had a dog, though. There's a dog in a coma?

The Doctor: Well, coma patient dreams he's walking a dog, Prisoner Zero gets a dog. Laptop! Your friend, what was his name, not him, the good looking one!

Rory: Thanks!

Amy Pond: Jeff.

Rory: Oh, thanks.

The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago. What happened?

Amy Pond: I grew up.

The Doctor: [He smiles] Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.

[He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS's door opens]

The Doctor: So... all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will - where do you want to start?

The Doctor: [Prisoner Zero is disguised as the Doctor] Well, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?

Rory: It's you.

The Doctor: Me?

[looks down]

The Doctor: Is that what I look like?

Rory: You don't know?

The Doctor: Busy day! Why me, though? You're linked with her. Why are you copying me?

Young Amy: [Prisoner Zero version] I'm not

[appears from behind the fake Doctor]

Young Amy: Poor Amy Pond. Still such a child inside. Dreaming of the magic Doctor she knows will return to save her. What a disappointment you've been

The Doctor: No. She's dreaming about me cos she can still hear me!

The Doctor: Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor.

[the Atraxi have returned in response to the phone call from The Doctor]

Amy Pond: So this was a good idea was it? They were leaving!

The Doctor: Leaving is good - never coming back is better!

Young Amy: Who are you?

The Doctor: I don't know yet. Still cooking.

[repeated line]

Atraxi: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated!

The Doctor: You're Amelia!

Amy Pond: [pulling at her skirt] You're late!

[starts walking off]

The Doctor: [walking alongside] Amelia Pond! You're the little girl!

Amy Pond: I'm Amelia, and you're late.

The Doctor: What happened?

Amy Pond: Twelve years!

The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat!

Amy Pond: Ha! Twelve years!

The Doctor: A cricket bat!

Amy Pond: Twelve years, and four psychiatrists!

The Doctor: Four?

Amy Pond: I kept biting them!

The Doctor: Why?

Amy Pond: They said you weren't real.

Atraxi: [Garbled] Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated!

Amy Pond: Come on! No, no, no! What! We're being staked out, by an ice cream van?

[the Doctor and Amy run to the van]

The Doctor: What is that? Why are you playing that?

Ice Cream Man: It's supposed to be Clare de Lune!

The Doctor: [Realising he is actually 12 years late] Why did you say six months?

Amy Pond: He's coming.

The Doctor: This matters. This is important. Why did you say six months?

Amy Pond: [Angrily] Why did you say five minutes?

The Doctor: Amy Pond. The girl who waited. You waited long enough.

Amy Pond: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool. And a library, and the swimming pool was in the library.

The Doctor: Yeah, not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming?

Amy Pond: No.

The Doctor: You wanted to come 14 years ago.

Amy Pond: I grew up.

The Doctor: Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.

Mother: The universe is cracked, the Pandorica will open, silence will fall.

Amy Pond: And you kept the bow tie?

The Eleventh Doctor: [looks at Amy]

The Eleventh Doctor: Yes, bow ties are cool

Young Amy: Dear Santa, thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you but... honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know its not cause at night there's voices so... please please can you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman, or...

[Amy trails off hearing the sound of the TARDIS crashing into her garden]

Young Amy: Back in a moment.

[Amy runs to her window and sees the "Police Public Call Box"]

Young Amy: Thank you Santa.

The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me cause it's important, and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a mad man with a box!

The Doctor: [Dialling a number on the phone] Sorry in advance, by the way

Rory: What for?

The Doctor: The bill!

The Doctor: [the Doctor has transmitted the reset virus to everyone in the conference call, and asked them to ensure it is passed on] Any questions?

Patrick Moore: Who's your lady friend?

The Doctor: Patrick - behave!

The Doctor: Well done, Prisoner Zero. A perfect impersonation of yourself.

The Doctor: I'm saving the world - I need a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show!

Amy Pond: Why me?

The Doctor: Why not?

Amy Pond: No seriously, you are asking me to run away with you in the middle of the night, it's a fair question. Why me?

The Doctor: I don't know, it's fun. Do I have to have a reason?

Amy Pond: People always have a reason.

The Doctor: Do I look like people?

Amy Pond: Yes.

The Doctor: Been knocking around on my own for a while. My choice, but I've started talking to myself, all the time. It's giving me an earache.

The Doctor: [the Doctor has grabbed Rory's cameraphone and looked at the picture] The sun's going out and you're photographing a man and a dog. Why?

Rory: [Notices Amy standing next to him] Amy!

Amy Pond: Hi

[Turns to the Doctor]

Amy Pond: Oh, this is Rory, he's a... friend.

Rory: Boyfriend.

Amy Pond: Kind of boyfriend.

Rory: Amy!

The Doctor: Man and dog, why?

Rory: [Looks the Doctor up and down] Oh, my god, It's him!

Amy Pond: Just answer his question, please!

Rory: But it's him though, the Doctor, the Raggady Doctor!

Amy Pond: Yes, he came back!

Rory: He was a story, he was a game...

The Doctor: [Grabs Rory by the lapels] Man and dog, why, tell me, now!

Rory: Sorry, it's just, he can't be there because he's

The DoctorRory: In a hospital, in a coma.

Rory: Yes

[Prisoner Zero poses as a mother with two girls, but blows its cover by talking through the wrong mouth]

Mother: Oh, I'm getting it wrong again, aren't I? I'm always doing that. So many mouths.

[Prisoner Zero opens all of its mouths, revealing large, fanged teeth]

The Doctor: Who's Amy? You were Amelia.

Amy Pond: Yeah, now I'm Amy.

The Doctor: Amelia Pond. That was a great name.

Amy Pond: Bit fairytale.

Mrs Angelo: I like Patrick Moore!

The Doctor: I'll get you his number, but watch him - he's a devil!

The Doctor: [Locking the door with the sonic screwdriver] Kissogram?

Amy Pond: Yes! A Kissogram! What's going on?

The Doctor: Why did you pretend to be a policewoman?

[Runs towards the TARDIS]

Amy Pond: [Chasing after him] You broke into my house! It was either this or a French Maid! What's going on? Tell me!

Young Amy: Are you okay?

The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.

Young Amy: You're soaking wet.

The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.

Young Amy: You said you were in the library.

The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

The Doctor: An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog and some other aliens who are about to incinerate your house. Any questions? Me too.

The Doctor: Well that's good. Fantastic. That gives us 20 minutes to save the world and I've got a post office. And it's shut!

Atraxi: You are not of this world.

The Doctor: No, but I've put a lot of work into it.

Amy Pond: So that thing, *that* hid in my house for 12 years?

The Doctor: Multiform can live for millenia - 12 years is just a pit stop!

The Doctor: Prisoner Zero!

Rory: What, there's a Prisoner Zero too?

Amy Pond: Yes!

The Doctor: [Indicating the Atraxi ship] That ship up there is scanning this area for no terrestrial technology

[Pulls out his screwdriver]

The Doctor: and nothing says non terrestrial like a sonic screwdriver!

The Doctor: [the Doctor is reached the TARDIS door when Amy asks what is going on] An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house! Any questions?

[Turns back to the TARDIS]

Amy Pond: Yes!

The Doctor: Me too!

[Tries the door, which won't open]

The Doctor: No, no, no, no, don't do that! It's still rebuilding, not letting us in!

Atraxi: Prisoner Zero has escaped!

The Doctor: Prisoner Zero...

Young Amy: Prisoner Zero has escaped. That's what I heard. What does it mean?

Atraxi: Prisoner Zero has escaped!

The Doctor: It means that on the other side of this wall there's a prison, and they've lost a prisoner. And do you know what that means?

Young Amy: What?

The Doctor: You need a better wall.

The Doctor: What is that?

Amy Pond: It's a duck pond.

The Doctor: Why aren't there any ducks?

Amy Pond: I don't know. There's never any ducks.

The Doctor: Then how do you know it's a duck pond?

Mrs Angelo: [Amy, a "Kissogram" in police attire, enters elderly Mrs. Angelo's house with The Doctor] Hello, Amy, dear. Are you a policewoman now?

Amy Pond: [Nervously] Well, sometimes.

Mrs Angelo: I thought you were a nurse.

Amy Pond: I can... be a nurse.

Mrs Angelo: [Growing suspicious] Or, actually, a nun...

Amy Pond: [With a tittering laugh] I dabble.

The Doctor: [arriving to save Amy and Rory] Am I late?

[looks at the clock]

The Doctor: No, three minutes. I've still got time.

Prisoner Zero: [in its mother and daughter disguise] Time for what, Time Lord?