The Doctor: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
Young Amy: Yes.
The Doctor: Everything's going to be fine.
The Doctor: C'mon, then! The Doctor will see you now!
Atraxi: [after scanning The Doctor] You are not of this world.
The Doctor: No but I've put a lot work into it.
Atraxi: Is this world important?
The Doctor: Important? What's that mean, important? Six billion people live here, is that important? Here's a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Oh come on, you're monitoring the whole planet! Is this world a threat?
Atraxi: [after looking at a montage of world events] No.
The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?
Atraxi: [after viewing another montage about earth] No.
The Doctor: Okay. One more, just one: is this world protected?
[as the Atraxi views a montage of all the aliens who have attacked humanity in some way]
The Doctor: You're not the first to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them?
[Atraxi looks at a montage of the past ten Doctors. The Doctor steps through the montage when the 10th Doctor is shown]
The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically. Run.
The Doctor: I am definitely a madman with a box!
Young Amy: I'm not scared!
The Doctor: Course you're not, you're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of a box, man eats fish custard! And look at you... just sitting there. So you know what I think?
Young Amy: What?
The Doctor: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.
Young Amy: You're soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Young Amy: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.
The Doctor: Hello. I'm The Doctor. Basically... run.
Rory: Amy, he's taking his clothes off.
The Doctor: Turn your back if it embarrasses you.
Rory: Are you stealing clothes now? Those clothes belong to people you know.
[turns around]
Rory: [to Amy] Are you not going to turn your back?
Amy Pond: [gazing intently at The Doctor] Nope.
[Amy begins cooking]
The Doctor: Ahh! Bacon!
[the Doctor eats the bacon, then promptly spits it out]
The Doctor: That's bacon! Are you trying to poison me?
[Amy begins cooking again]
The Doctor: Beans!
[the Doctor eats the fried beans, and promptly spits them out]
The Doctor: Beans are evil. Bad bad beans.
[Amy butters a slice of plain bread]
The Doctor: Bread and butter! Now you're talking.
[the Doctor runs outside and flings the bread and butter out]
The Doctor: And stay out!
The Doctor: [seeing what Jeff was watching on his computer] Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.
Mrs Angelo: Amy, who is your friend?
The Doctor: Who's Amy? You were Amelia!
Amy Pond: Yeah, now I'm Amy!
The Doctor: Amelia Pond - that was a great name!
Amy Pond: Bit fairy tale.
Mrs Angelo: I know you, don't I?
The Doctor: Not me - brand new face
[Pulls a funny face]
The Doctor: First time on. And what sort of job is a kissogram?
Amy Pond: I go to parties, and I... kiss people. With outfits. It's a laugh!
The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!
Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt!
[Turns to Mrs Angelo]
The Doctor: And that is *not* how I'm introducing myself!
Amy Pond: And you kept the clothes.
The Doctor: Well I just saved the world... the whole planet for about the millionth time, no charge, yeah, shoot me, I kept the clothes.
Amy Pond: Including the bow tie.
The Doctor: Yeah, it's cool, bow ties are cool.
Amy Pond: Are you from another planet?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Amy Pond: Okay...
The Doctor: So what do you think?
Amy Pond: What?
The Doctor: Other planets. Wanna check some out?
The Eleventh Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, cos it's important, and one day your life may depend on it.
[He smiles]
The Eleventh Doctor: I am definitely a madman with a box.
Young Amy: What is it? What's wrong with you?
The Doctor: Wrong with me? It's not my fault, why can't you give me any decent food! You're Scottish, fry something!
Amy Pond: Will that door hold it?
The Doctor: Oh yeah, yeah, course! It's an interdimensional multi-form from outer space, they're all 'terrified' of wood!
The Doctor: [On the phone to the Atraxi] Oi! I didn't say you could go! Article 57 of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established, Level 5, planet, and you were going to burn it? What...? Did you think no one was watching? You lot, back here, now!
[Ends the call and tosses phone to Rory]
The Doctor: Ok. Now I've done it!
Rory: Did he just bring them back? Did he just save the world from aliens, and then bring all the aliens back again?
The Doctor: No TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare... Who da man?
[blank stares from Prisoner Zero, Rory, and Amy]
The Doctor: [Mumbling] Oh, it's, I'm never saying that again, fine!
The Doctor: I know what I need! I need... I need... I need... fish fingers and custard!
The Doctor: How many rooms?
Amy Pond: I'm sorry, what?
The Doctor: On this floor, how many rooms? Count them for me now.
Amy Pond: Why?
The Doctor: Because it will change your life.
Amy Pond: [pause] Five. One, two, three, four, five
The Doctor: Six.
Amy Pond: Six?
The Doctor: Look.
Amy Pond: Look where?
The Doctor: Exactly where you don't want to look, where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you.
The Doctor: Do I just have a face that nobody listens to? Again.
[seeing his new TARDIS for the first time]
The Doctor: Look at you. Oh, you sexy thing, look at you!
The Eleventh Doctor: Hello, I'm the Doctor.
The Eleventh Doctor: Basically, RUN.
The Doctor: These are all coma patients?
Rory: Yeah
The Doctor: No, they're all the multiform. Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero
Amy Pond: He had a dog, though. There's a dog in a coma?
The Doctor: Well, coma patient dreams he's walking a dog, Prisoner Zero gets a dog. Laptop! Your friend, what was his name, not him, the good looking one!
Rory: Thanks!
Amy Pond: Jeff.
Rory: Oh, thanks.
The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago. What happened?
Amy Pond: I grew up.
The Doctor: [He smiles] Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.
[He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS's door opens]
The Doctor: So... all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will - where do you want to start?
The Doctor: [Prisoner Zero is disguised as the Doctor] Well, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Rory: It's you.
The Doctor: Me?
[looks down]
The Doctor: Is that what I look like?
Rory: You don't know?
The Doctor: Busy day! Why me, though? You're linked with her. Why are you copying me?
Young Amy: [Prisoner Zero version] I'm not
[appears from behind the fake Doctor]
Young Amy: Poor Amy Pond. Still such a child inside. Dreaming of the magic Doctor she knows will return to save her. What a disappointment you've been
The Doctor: No. She's dreaming about me cos she can still hear me!
The Doctor: Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor.
[the Atraxi have returned in response to the phone call from The Doctor]
Amy Pond: So this was a good idea was it? They were leaving!
The Doctor: Leaving is good - never coming back is better!
Young Amy: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. Still cooking.
[repeated line]
Atraxi: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated!
The Doctor: You're Amelia!
Amy Pond: [pulling at her skirt] You're late!
[starts walking off]
The Doctor: [walking alongside] Amelia Pond! You're the little girl!
Amy Pond: I'm Amelia, and you're late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy Pond: Twelve years!
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat!
Amy Pond: Ha! Twelve years!
The Doctor: A cricket bat!
Amy Pond: Twelve years, and four psychiatrists!
The Doctor: Four?
Amy Pond: I kept biting them!
The Doctor: Why?
Amy Pond: They said you weren't real.
Atraxi: [Garbled] Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated!
Amy Pond: Come on! No, no, no! What! We're being staked out, by an ice cream van?
[the Doctor and Amy run to the van]
The Doctor: What is that? Why are you playing that?
Ice Cream Man: It's supposed to be Clare de Lune!
The Doctor: [Realising he is actually 12 years late] Why did you say six months?
Amy Pond: He's coming.
The Doctor: This matters. This is important. Why did you say six months?
Amy Pond: [Angrily] Why did you say five minutes?
The Doctor: Amy Pond. The girl who waited. You waited long enough.
Amy Pond: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool. And a library, and the swimming pool was in the library.
The Doctor: Yeah, not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming?
Amy Pond: No.
The Doctor: You wanted to come 14 years ago.
Amy Pond: I grew up.
The Doctor: Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.
Mother: The universe is cracked, the Pandorica will open, silence will fall.
Amy Pond: And you kept the bow tie?
The Eleventh Doctor: [looks at Amy]
The Eleventh Doctor: Yes, bow ties are cool
Young Amy: Dear Santa, thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you but... honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know its not cause at night there's voices so... please please can you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman, or...
[Amy trails off hearing the sound of the TARDIS crashing into her garden]
Young Amy: Back in a moment.
[Amy runs to her window and sees the "Police Public Call Box"]
Young Amy: Thank you Santa.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me cause it's important, and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a mad man with a box!
The Doctor: [Dialling a number on the phone] Sorry in advance, by the way
Rory: What for?
The Doctor: The bill!
The Doctor: [the Doctor has transmitted the reset virus to everyone in the conference call, and asked them to ensure it is passed on] Any questions?
Patrick Moore: Who's your lady friend?
The Doctor: Patrick - behave!
The Doctor: Well done, Prisoner Zero. A perfect impersonation of yourself.
The Doctor: I'm saving the world - I need a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show!
Amy Pond: Why me?
The Doctor: Why not?
Amy Pond: No seriously, you are asking me to run away with you in the middle of the night, it's a fair question. Why me?
The Doctor: I don't know, it's fun. Do I have to have a reason?
Amy Pond: People always have a reason.
The Doctor: Do I look like people?
Amy Pond: Yes.
The Doctor: Been knocking around on my own for a while. My choice, but I've started talking to myself, all the time. It's giving me an earache.
The Doctor: [the Doctor has grabbed Rory's cameraphone and looked at the picture] The sun's going out and you're photographing a man and a dog. Why?
Rory: [Notices Amy standing next to him] Amy!
Amy Pond: Hi
[Turns to the Doctor]
Amy Pond: Oh, this is Rory, he's a... friend.
Rory: Boyfriend.
Amy Pond: Kind of boyfriend.
Rory: Amy!
The Doctor: Man and dog, why?
Rory: [Looks the Doctor up and down] Oh, my god, It's him!
Amy Pond: Just answer his question, please!
Rory: But it's him though, the Doctor, the Raggady Doctor!
Amy Pond: Yes, he came back!
Rory: He was a story, he was a game...
The Doctor: [Grabs Rory by the lapels] Man and dog, why, tell me, now!
Rory: Sorry, it's just, he can't be there because he's
The Doctor , Rory: In a hospital, in a coma.
Rory: Yes
[Prisoner Zero poses as a mother with two girls, but blows its cover by talking through the wrong mouth]
Mother: Oh, I'm getting it wrong again, aren't I? I'm always doing that. So many mouths.
[Prisoner Zero opens all of its mouths, revealing large, fanged teeth]
The Doctor: Who's Amy? You were Amelia.
Amy Pond: Yeah, now I'm Amy.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond. That was a great name.
Amy Pond: Bit fairytale.
Mrs Angelo: I like Patrick Moore!
The Doctor: I'll get you his number, but watch him - he's a devil!
The Doctor: [Locking the door with the sonic screwdriver] Kissogram?
Amy Pond: Yes! A Kissogram! What's going on?
The Doctor: Why did you pretend to be a policewoman?
[Runs towards the TARDIS]
Amy Pond: [Chasing after him] You broke into my house! It was either this or a French Maid! What's going on? Tell me!
Young Amy: Are you okay?
The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Young Amy: You're soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Young Amy: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.
The Doctor: An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog and some other aliens who are about to incinerate your house. Any questions? Me too.
The Doctor: Well that's good. Fantastic. That gives us 20 minutes to save the world and I've got a post office. And it's shut!
Atraxi: You are not of this world.
The Doctor: No, but I've put a lot of work into it.
Amy Pond: So that thing, *that* hid in my house for 12 years?
The Doctor: Multiform can live for millenia - 12 years is just a pit stop!
The Doctor: [Indicating the Atraxi ship] That ship up there is scanning this area for no terrestrial technology
[Pulls out his screwdriver]
The Doctor: and nothing says non terrestrial like a sonic screwdriver!
The Doctor: [the Doctor is reached the TARDIS door when Amy asks what is going on] An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house! Any questions?
[Turns back to the TARDIS]
Amy Pond: Yes!
The Doctor: Me too!
[Tries the door, which won't open]
The Doctor: No, no, no, no, don't do that! It's still rebuilding, not letting us in!
Atraxi: Prisoner Zero has escaped!
The Doctor: Prisoner Zero...
Young Amy: Prisoner Zero has escaped. That's what I heard. What does it mean?
Atraxi: Prisoner Zero has escaped!
The Doctor: It means that on the other side of this wall there's a prison, and they've lost a prisoner. And do you know what that means?
Young Amy: What?
The Doctor: You need a better wall.
The Doctor: What is that?
Amy Pond: It's a duck pond.
The Doctor: Why aren't there any ducks?
Amy Pond: I don't know. There's never any ducks.
The Doctor: Then how do you know it's a duck pond?
Mrs Angelo: [Amy, a "Kissogram" in police attire, enters elderly Mrs. Angelo's house with The Doctor] Hello, Amy, dear. Are you a policewoman now?
Amy Pond: [Nervously] Well, sometimes.
Mrs Angelo: I thought you were a nurse.
Amy Pond: I can... be a nurse.
Mrs Angelo: [Growing suspicious] Or, actually, a nun...
Amy Pond: [With a tittering laugh] I dabble.
The Doctor: [arriving to save Amy and Rory] Am I late?
[looks at the clock]
The Doctor: No, three minutes. I've still got time.
Prisoner Zero: [in its mother and daughter disguise] Time for what, Time Lord?