Caroline Wexler: People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect.

Jenny: [Seeing Caroline in the restroom] Ugh, slut.

Caroline Wexler: What did you call me?

Jenny: I think I just called you a slut, slut.

Caroline Wexler: Why?

Jenny: Because everyone knows that you've banged, like, forty different guys since you came here.

Caroline Wexler: Really? Forty?

[pause to look in mirror]

Caroline Wexler: Okay, let's just say that I have banged forty guys. What's the problem? You're just jealous because you've been, ah, brainwashed by puritanical assholes who think sex is a sin. But then again, your, ah, little gerbil-sized brain has been reprogrammed by the media to believe that sex is the be-all, end-all. So now you're stuck, right? 'Cause on the one hand you love to fuck, but afterwards you feel overwhelmed by guilt & you're not sure why. Maybe it's because sex is neither as good or as evil as you've built it up to be.

Jenny: [hurt pause] Shut up, slut!

Caroline Wexler: Jenny, seriously, listen to me! The highlight of your entire life is gonna be your yearbook photo. You are already nostalgic for shit that has not even happened yet cause you have so precious little to look forward to. You're gonna spend the first half of your life planning your wedding and you're gonna spend the second half regretting it. And if I were you - and thank god I'm not, cause you have terrible hair - I would stop and I would reconsider your whole value system, because everything you know is wrong.

Caroline Wexler: What did you say to him?

Barry Anderson: Caroline... you and I are meant to be together.

Caroline Wexler: Oh my God, you are fucking crazy!

Caroline Wexler: I think you're cute and I want to go out with you.

Thurston Goldberg: [Brief pause] Really?

Paul: That's the problem - you see god once and suddenly you have divine permission to act like an asshole.