Lip Gallagher: I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you!
Mickey Milkovich: Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I'm calling and you not picking up! I'm starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back, Ian! I'm worried about you. I love you. Call me back.
Frank Gallagher: I'd be crying right now if I wasn't so high.
Carl Gallagher: [to Sammi] You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch!
Lip Gallagher: Facts cannot be racist. Many Irish are drunks. Many French smell. Most Chinese hate children, that's why they sell them to Americans.
Carl Gallagher: [about constantly getting in trouble at school] A shrink at school says I'm one of God's mistakes.
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica when she's about to give birth] Baby, you know what this means, right? I got a magic dick!
Veronica Fisher: [to Fiona] So is Lip getting serious about Mandy Skankovich?
Fiona Gallagher: SHUT *UP*, Frank!
Fiona Gallagher: [to Debbie] Nobody *fucks* with the Gallaghers!
Debbie Gallagher: That's right. NO ONE FUCKS WITH A GALLAGHER!
Lip Gallagher: I'm not my dad. You hear me? I'm not my fucking dad!
Sheila Jackson: I will make this kitchen my bitch.
Veronica Fisher: [while giving birth] OB? I need to make an appointment with a vet. I'm havin' a damn litter!
Frank Gallagher: [about his alcohol addiction] I can't handle anything up my ass without alcohol!
Frank Gallagher: [shouting while walking around the Chicago waterfront and drinking a beer] I'M *ALIVE,* MOTHERFUCKER!
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica] I thought that's what you ladies wanted. A shared housework, wage equality and all that Hunger Games, Lady Gaga girl power shit!
Fiona Gallagher: Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night?
Mickey Milkovich: Fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you!