If I Were You (2012) User Reviews (31)

Worth it

[tickin · 7/10 · 24 February 2013]

I have to open by saying I've always enjoyed Marcia Gay Harden. But I was a little worried that comedy might not be her strength. I was happily wrong. She delivers a joke well, very well at times and she carries the 2 hour movie right through to the end. She puts her own style into it too, which is memorable.

The movie is light entertainment but it's not irritating. It weaves it's own little path and pops out the other end with a smile on it's face. This is probably going to sound mean but the secondary characters were neither here nor there and only served as billboards for Marcia to graffiti. Though Aiden Quinn does carve out a few good moments for his character.

But It's Marcia's show and she steps up well. Well worth it if you're perhaps on the upper side of 40 and looking for something light, funny and mostly clean.

Stunning at times, but uneven. A perky quirky treat worth seeing.

[secondtake · 7/10 · 7 November 2013]

If I Were You (2012)

Be careful—the first twenty minutes of this movie is so bad (or bad seeming) with improbable dialog and kind of "stupid" characters (and maybe inept actors). Or so it all appears. Keep watching. This smooths out quickly, and you get used to the farcical style, so that by the end it all seems normal and pretty fun.

The idea is simple, and explained really well in the movie. Two women find they can't make good decisions for themselves, so they agree to make decisions for each other. Big stuff, like whether to date someone, or what to say to end a relationship. And so when a biggie comes up they have to call the other person for instructions.

This is tied together brilliantly by a simple first scene (which doesn't give much away, but skip this paragraph if you want the first five minutes of the movie untouched). One woman sees her husband cheating on her with the other (younger) woman. The older woman then sees the younger buy the stuff for a suicide, so follows her to save her. The younger woman thinks this is absolutely beautiful (which it is). And the friendship and the pact are formed.

But of course there is this secret lingering, and a husband who calls (and gets calls from) the two women for different reasons.

As you can imagine, the complications are hilarious.

The other theme that gets going is King Lear, the play, and how the two women get involved with that and why. It's a nice layer that actually doesn't get used very well until near the end when the older woman gives a eulogy quoting the Shakespeare she's been learning. The fellow actors are all terrible on purpose, but they are also thin and clumsy in the movie, especially the director who overacts to distraction.

By contrast, our two women play their roles to a kind of comic perfection. The older, played by Marcia Gay Harden, is actually the key protagonist, and is wonderful. Her younger friend, Leonor Watling, is terrific, too, and a perfect complement. Whatever the other outcomes of the movie, you end up hoping these rivals become good friends.

Reminiscent of Neil Simon

[rkhen · 8/10 · 31 October 2017]

If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you'll recognise the Neil Simon pretense of this movie. Though it has neither the fast pace nor the wicked writing of a Simon production, it's well done and entirely worth an evening's light viewing.

The depiction of a main character in an agonising predicament, but whose basic decency wins out time and again over her broken heart, is rare in popular culture, and brilliantly performed by Marcia Gay Harden.

An insightful comedy built largely on irony

[Buddy-51 · 7/10 · 25 November 2013]

Staid, even-keeled Madelyn gets the shock of her life when she discovers, quite by accident, that her husband of many years is cheating on her with a much younger woman. Then, through a series of complicated events, she winds up as the confidante and adviser to her husband's mistress who has no idea who Madelyn is. In fact, the two women both make a pact - Madelyn with full knowledge of what she's doing and Lucy wholly in the dark - that they will leave all their major life decisions up to the other person - an ostensibly more dispassionate and objective person - so as to avoid incurring any more self-inflicted mistakes in their lives.

Written and directed by Joan Carr-Wiggin, "If I Were You" plays much like a modern-day Feydeau farce, its humor based on a complex web of interconnected coincidences, misunderstandings and strategically withheld information. It's a clever, insightful little comedy that, by carrying its ironies and implausibilities to an almost absurd level, manages to make us face - and, even more amazingly, laugh at - just how real and cutting the pain caused by infidelity, romantic relationships and even platonic friendships can be. But the movie also deals with such heady themes as deceit, betrayal, hypocrisy, self-worth and a woman's place in the world, all without breaking a sweat. In fact, this becomes a growth experience for Madelyn who soon learns that she has a purpose and identity of her own apart from wife to a cheating husband.

It's true that the movie sometimes feels like it's a beat or two off in its more broadly comic moments (especially early on the film) and the ending rates as a bit of a cheat and copout, but those weaknesses are easily overlooked amidst fine performances by Marcia Gay Harden, Leonor Watling, Joseph Kell and Aidan Quinn and an overall wisdom about how life works.

Brilliant First Act

[Siren555 · 7/10 · 20 October 2013]

This is an intelligent and funny movie, well worth watching, even if for the first act alone. Harden and Watling are genuinely entertaining to watch. They have great chemistry, playing off each other beautifully. The film's only flaws are in the somewhat uneven plot, and a couple of very minor characters with sub-par acting -- the waitress in the opening scene must be surely be the producer's sister or something.

The first act is surprisingly great. I literally laughed out loud. The concept is also super fun and intriguing. Marcia Gay Harden's every move is perfect as Madeline, the prim and proper, confused working wife. Leonor Watling also gives a wonderful performance as Lucy. She gives Lucy exactly the right blend of naïvete, savviness, and genuine innocence, which allows us to care about Lucy even if she doesn't always do the right thing.

The second act continues at a pretty good pace. However, to keep from dragging, the middle of the movie craved a couple of extra plot complications.

In the third act, the tone of the movie shifts considerably. Now If I Were You is a drama, and a major new character is introduced. The story would have been even stronger if it could have retained more of the fun-loving spirit of the first act.

Overall, If I Were You gets a 6.5 . . . since that's not an option, 7.

Brilliant! With Meaning. Well done.

[elenid_brown · 10/10 · 3 November 2013]

This is a real gem of a movie written and directed by Joan Carr-Wiggin, who did an outstanding job at both. The writing was witty, highly intelligent and crisp, without being snappy or predictable, but embodying mature depth and strength. This film is one of those unforgettable films that reach into the inner core of the heart - yet is handled unconventionally and with more savvy than one has come to expect in these genres.

Marcia Gay Harden is outstanding in this film. Outstanding, deep, multifaceted. It was a joy just to watch her. There is so much about this movie that felt rich - certainly not your average shallow Hollywood product.

I look forward to more films by Joan Carr-Wiggin.

Quite uneven but often quite good

[planktonrules · 7/10 · 30 June 2013]

"If I were You" is a frustrating film to watch, though I do recommend it. Why frustrating? It's because it is almost like two or three different portions of films tossed together--and this is disconcerting. For example, the film starts off as a funny little comedy but then later it's depressing and maudlin and later it's a romance! I really wish the film had maintained a tighter focus--perhaps then it would have made money. Still, with some wonderful acting from Marcia Gay Harden and many wonderful moments, it is still very good.

The film begins with a woman (Harden) discovering that her husband is cheating on her. However, in a weird (and funny) twist, she sees the mistress about to kill herself and must intervene. No matter how much she hates her, she has some compassion and won't just stand back and see her die. Soon, in a weirder twist, the two become very good friends--though the mistress has no idea that her new friend is her lover's wife! There is MUCH more to the film than this--and as I said before, the film has great difficulty maintaining focus in style or plot. It's a shame, as the film is VERY funny in places.

So would you like my advice? Well, you are reading this, so I assume you do. First, don't let kids watch the film--it's just too adult. Second, watch it if you are willing to look over the uneven bits, as there is so much good in this one.

By the way, if you like this film, try watching Harden in "Canvas"---another small and overlooked film in which her acting really, really shines.

An oddball romance with clever twists

[robynartist · 9/10 · 17 October 2013]

Loved it! I just stumbled upon this movie on new releases on Netflix and was watching it while working in my studio. It is funny without being cute, poignant at times without being maudlin and downright fun.

I love the premise of the movie, the likes of which I've not experienced elsewhere - and heaven knows it's rare to find a new plot!

Although Marcia Gay Harden steals the show, I think the other actors effectively support her lead.

I don't often watch any film more than once, but I would watch this again with someone who's seeing it for the first time, for sure. The last romantic comedy that fit this category for me is Love Actually, which is one of the few movies I own and enjoy watching periodically.

Everyone Cheats

[blissey_s · 6/10 · 23 February 2023]

I enjoyed this film. The production isn't the greatest, but it has a charm about it that is hard to deny. There is a rivalry yet bond between the two that almost feels like a mother-daughter relationship. It's refreshing to see such a dynamic play out as older women can teach younger women much about life.

Marcia is riveting in her role; everyone else seems like a side character. Undoubtedly she makes this film what it is.

There is a lot of apt social commentary here: about how we choose to live our lives in romance and how much value we should place on sex. It's interesting to observe the differences between the characters' philosophies about romance and sex as it can tell us a lot about our own choices.

Where this movie fails is in the cheap production and almost amateur, art-school type feel of it all and the dialogues between Madelyn and Lucy can grow tiresome.

Putrid and uncouth

[jroyals-04341 · 1/10 · 27 August 2021]

The premise was good but the execution was not. The beginning had promise but the dialogue was stunningly juvenile. Each scene seemed to be progressively more unpleasant than the last and the f bombs piled up and still no laughs. Worse yet, the characters were all unlikeable. Harden acted like she was a teenager and was completely unbelievable. I turned this monstrosity off after 30 minutes.

Through hilarious circumstances, a wife and mistress help each other with their love lives. But! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

[sandranord · 10/10 · 18 March 2013]

This is one of the best comedies I have seen in years - I go to the movies a lot! The writing is smart, philosophical, quick witted. The plot comes up with surprise after surprise. You cannot predict the next move at all. The film is laugh-out-loud funny. The audience will put themselves in the shoes of these wonderfully rich characters and go through a fun emotional journey. Zany but plausible! The acting is stellar. I've always been a big fan of Marcia Gay Harden so I am thrilled to see her in a film of this caliber. The big question is "Why isn't this film in more theaters? I accidentally stumbled on this film. If not for that, I never would have seen it. Why? Marketing people ... distribution people ... GET THIS FILM TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC! We need to laugh ... not AT people which happens so often in films these days ... we need to laugh along with the genius of this film!

Good Movie

[macleans-11234 · 7/10 · 17 November 2020]

I watched on You Tube , it was on Netflixs at one point. Filmed in Toronto, Ontario. Known as a Canadian movie, there are a few Canadians in the film. Married Canadian couple , husband Paul (Joseph Kell and wife of Keith, Valerie Mahaffey are a married Canadian couple. Movie was good , I would consider it a made for TV movie. Overall, would recommend it.

Inventive take on Strangers on a Train

[hugh-33-58009 · 7/10 · 18 October 2020]

Clever, funny, well cast. Inventive and original take on Strangers on a Train. Sort of Allenesque in its approach. Some false notes and I didn't really buy the married relationship but still well worth watching.

Not your typical romance

[Pidgey1 · 10/10 · 29 May 2013]

What you might expect from a movie about two women, one who is lovely, older, wiser, and not as firm, the other lovely, young and not very bright, except for when it comes to manipulation and adoration of the physical and the moment, would not be what you get in If I Were You . It's a movie that does not underestimate the buddy aspect of a romp, and it turns that inside out by using traditional methods, straight (wo)man, loose limbed physical comedy, and adds a dose of heartbreak not only in the realm of love, but in all relationships including friendship and parent child. It's an exceptional vehicle for Harden and one she readily deserves as she is overlooked and underused in so many ways.

A troubled marriage awakens a woman's hidden desires.

[allen_hahn · 10/10 · 21 April 2012]

This is one of the most entertaining and downright funny films I have been privileged to watch in the past several years. Plot twists and turns come fast and are unexpected. Marcia Gay Harden leads an impeccable cast of interesting, quirky and all too human characters that include Aiden Quinn. The writing is simply exceptional. The dialog is as witty and hilarious as it comes, and come it does, non-stop. Joan-Carr Wiggin, who is both writer and director, smashes this one clean out of the park. I doubt you'll find yourself glancing at your iPhone or Blackberry during this film. This film is but another vehicle that demonstrates the versatility, cleverness, and command that a seasoned actor like Ms. Harden can bring to a role. Watching the interaction of the actors is much like watching the intricately choreographed dance numbers of a Twyla Tharp. Once this goes into general release, expect to see Marcia Gay Harden walk away with a Best Actress Oscar.

A woman and her husband's mistress find themselves through their surprise friendship -- and King Lear.

[maurice_yacowar · 9/10 · 19 September 2013]

I was so impressed by If I Were You at the Palm Springs Film Festival that I expected to hear a lot more about it. Alas, it disappeared into the esteemed Lorber DVD ranks, where to our relief and delight it can still be found. It deserves a large-screen rep.

Writer/director Joan Carr-Wiggin wrote a brilliant screenplay and directed a richly nuanced cast to bring it to impeccable life.

The plot is an inventive symphony of triangles. Madelyn (Marcia Gay Harden) spots her lying husband Paul (Joseph Kell) out with his bimbo mistress Lucy (Leonor Watling). After witnessing their quarrel Madelyn follows the apparently suicidal Lucy to her flat. Though herself heartbroken she consoles the girl and settles into a friendship in which -- at Lucy's suggestion -- each will count on the other to direct them through their present crisis. The girl has lost her lover and the woman seems to have lost her husband, but Lucy doesn't realize Madelyn is her Paul's wife. As Lucy doesn't know who Madelyn is, neither does Madelyn's demented mother. Nor, for that matter, does Paul, who is jealous and indignant when he takes her mysterious calls from Lucy to be from Madelyn's imagined lover. Nor does Madelyn yet realize who Madelyn is. That discovery will come when the business woman and homemaker steps out of her habitual roles and plays -- Queen Lear.

The rom-com element takes a sharp turn when Madelyn slips into a new relationship with Derek (Aidan Quinn), whose father died in the same home and at the same time as Madelyn's mother. It begins in the nursing home waiting room in the shadow of death: "When was our last first kiss and did we even know it was our last?" Their relationship blossoms over ice cream in a wintry cemetery. In him she finds an understanding, joy and devotion long gone form her marriage.

That cemetery image of rebirth confirms the function of the amateur theatre group's production, where a troupe of well-meaning incompetents are saved by Lucy's dippy Fool and Madelyn's heartfelt Lear -- and the play saves them. The play harnesses Madelyn's emotions and carries her through her heartbreak when Lucy turns against her and wins Paul away. Of course, Lucy understands Lear because she too has been maddened by losing everything she thought she had. Like Lear, Madelyn -- but also Lucy, Paul and Derek -- have grown to understand themselves better as a result of their adversity. For Lucy and Madelyn, the play has illuminated their selves and their lives, by giving them a detached yet engaging perspective on their personal dilemmas. Initially they helped themselves by taking the other's advice, which each developed by pretending to be the other. Then they sank/recovered themselves in their Shakespeare roles. A Lear speech carries Madelyn through her mother's funeral. Taking on a serious role gives Lucy the confidence to leave not just her bimbo life and callow ambition but her illusions about Paul. Both women get a new self-respect from the stage. For more go to www.yacowar.blogspot.com.

See this film!

[danbranan · 9/10 · 19 September 2016]

I only recently discovered this little gem on Netflix and I was really impressed. This independent film is everything that so many Hollywood films aren't (anymore): complex, interesting, challenging, funny. The acting (especially Marcia Gay Harden and Aidan Quinn) is excellent. Despite its 2-hour run-time and complex plot, it never bogs down. Director Joan Carr-Wiggin does an admirable job of keeping the story moving and relatable through all the twists and turns of the plot and subplots. In fact, the story itself mirrors the Shakespearean structure with intrigue, mistaken or confused identities, poignant subtext, etc. And to top it all off, there's no formulaic development or "Hollywood ending" to ruin the great story! This film is truly delightful and its a shame that it did so unbelievably poorly at the box-office. The critics have not done it justice, either, giving one-line reviews that make me wonder if they even watched it. If you check on Rotten Tomatoes, you'll see that the audience score is around 70%, while the critic's score is at 9%! Definitely a disconnect with reality, in my opinion. It's not a perfect film, and if IMDb allowed it I would have given it an 8.5, but it's certainly MUCH better than its critical ratings and box-office earnings indicate.

As good as Midnight In Paris

[daxjordan2000 · 10/10 · 11 January 2012]

I managed to score a seat to the sold out showing at the Palm Springs Film Festival last night, and the packed house ate this movie up. Marcia Gay Harden makes the argument for comedic performances becoming Oscar worthy. The clever situation that sets up the whole film starts immediately and the laughs come quickly, punctuated by moments of profound emotional connection. It's a movie about relationships, but it's also a movie about acting, at first metaphorically and then overtly. Written and directed by a woman, and starring many strong women, it shines with honesty and humor without coming off as a "chick flick". And Aiden Quinn's baritone voice will test the lower range of your theaters subwoofers. See this movie, and pray it gets a good distribution deal.

Think you've seen it all... huh? Well, you haven't!

[emailbillphillips · 10/10 · 5 November 2017]

I was tired, flipping from one Amazon Prime movie to another. Watched one on Japanese internment camps for about half an hour. Flipped more and started watching this one though I was about to fall asleep. By golly, stayed up for the entire two more hours.

What to say? A situational, hilarious, farce, sexy, mistaken identity comedy. I really didn't know who Marcia Gay Harden was, then I realized I'd seen her in lots of stuff, but, wow, what an actress. And, Leonor Watling, seems I've seen her in something before, but she's the best voluptuous and dumb (and funny) I've seen since Mira Sorvino in Mighty Aphrodite.

The story line doesn't quit. You think it's over, but it ain't. More stuff and twists just keep happening.

This Movie is Hilarious

[TrueFanMissy · 9/10 · 5 November 2017]

"If I Were You" is brilliantly funny. The writing is clever, fresh and funny. And the directing brings out hilarious performances. I just wonder why I never heard of the film before yesterday.

Marcia Gay Harden shakes from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet - as women do when they learn their husbands are having an affair. And her immediate actions start a comedic snowball that she just can't get away from.

Without giving a spoiler, just wait until you see her at work. Best and most honest conference room scene ever.

I read a few reviews of "If I Were You" by some clueless movie critics who must be so entrenched in the Hollywood machine they just wouldn't know a truly funny movie if it slapped them in the face.

Why only a 9? (1) It is a bit long for an easy Saturday night watch-after-the- kids-are-in-bed movie. (2) the bottle of scotch gag goes on too long. Other than that -- I love it.

The previous night I watched Nancy Meyers "The Holiday" and agonized through the first lame, predictable hour before it got interesting - I say "If I were You" is much better written and directed. So watch it.

I'm a little embarrassed that I never heard of this writer-director before, but then Hollywood has made a full-time job of pushing intelligent women and their intelligent films to the side so that some truly horrible men can stay in control.

Great Fun !

[bobcolganrac · 8/10 · 25 October 2017]

Lovely film ! Wonderful comedy ! Clearly written/directed by a woman who understands feminine angst. This review is short. I am only writing it to express my appreciation for the film and its wonderful acting by Harden and company.

Marcia Gay Harden's Madelyn is worth the price of admission itself against which Leonora Watling's Lucy holds her own.

It is basically a two women play.....and does recall many of the earlier Broadway-inspired Hollywood productions which involve emotionally unwieldy triads. But is it hackneyed?--not at all. It's human drama which at its base never loses freshness nor its inherent humor and pathos.

I enjoyed it. My wife enjoyed it. You'll probably enjoy it as well.

fun, fun, fun

[blanche-2 · 8/10 · 29 January 2017]

Marcia Gay Hardin is out of this world fabulous in "If I Were You" from 2012.

Hardin is Madelyn, a married career woman who finds out her husband is having an affair with a young woman - she spots them at a restaurant. Panicked as her husband leaves the restaurant, she ducks into a store, and so does the girlfriend Lucy (Lenore Watling).

Madelyn spots her rival buying a rope and booze, so she follows her home to make sure she isn't committing suicide, which she is. The two talk and become friends, though Madelyn has a hidden agenda. The two make a pact about their men (the same man) - each will tell the other what to do about her problem.

Then, by complete accident, Madelyn and Lucy are cast in a production of King Lear, even though Madelyn is not an actress. Madelyn is Lear.

I love the story - it's fresh, it's funny; it's also poignant, sad, and inspiring. The acting is terrific. Hardin really carries the film with her comedy coming out as a result of her character's situation. Nothing put on or going for laughs.

It's streaming on Netflix. Though it drags a little in the middle, keep with it and whatever you do, don't miss King Lear.

more of a drama on relationships. all kinds of em.

[ksf-2 · 8/10 · 3 October 2015]

Just as her husband says he will be coming home late, Madelyn sees him with another woman in the coffee shop. Instead of confronting them, she meet the woman, and oddly, becomes her friend. Written and directed by Joan Carr Wiggin, whose works are all about relationships, marriages, engagements. Marcia Harden is Madelyn, whose husband Paul is cheating with the MUCH younger Lucy (Leonor Watling). They strike up a friendship, lots of talking, discussing, psycho-analyzing, kind of like a woody allen movie. But... Madelyn doesn't tell Lucy that she is "the wife", and already knows what they are up to. They agree to help each other. Some funny lines. Lots of cussing, so leave the young uns back home! It's mostly a fun roller coaster of an adventure. Misunderstandings, lies, the usual caper ingredients. It's not always sure what it wants to be; netflix has this under COMEDY, but it's really a drama. Some serious scenes with Madelyn's mother, who is not at all well. Madelyn is very real, and she is all around us, with her sense of humor, and weaknesses. Check it out! Not bad.

Something a little different

[jragan1957 · 8/10 · 21 February 2020]

I liked this a lot. A character story with interesting characters. Following these folks down the road of their lives was just wonderful. Marcia Gay Harden is truly spectacular. Sometimes life takes unexpected turns and we dont always know how we will react until we are there. Great story

I love this movie.

[lagthirteen · 8/10 · 30 December 2021]

This is a movie I watch whenever I see it. I love the relationship between the two women, and how, unconsciously, that relationship brings powerful change to their lives. It's fun, sexy, and takes one's mind off of the daily nonsense.