This Means War

If you wanted to make a movie that was successful at the box office, you could plug the story lines of the top 25 movies for the last 10 years into a computer and have it generate a plot. It would probably come up with a new genre called the 'romantic action comedy'. It would probably come up with, 'This Means War'. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out who it was targeted for. First, no adult with a few functioning neurons will find the plot compelling. I doubt if women would find the romance unforgettable. I, therefore, concluded that the movie was targeted towards 15 year old boys out on their first dates. Yes, there are the obligatory action scenes with the required number of explosions and car chases, but this is mainly to wake up the 13-year-olds who fell asleep during the 'romantic' scenes. The comedy, and I am stretching the dictionary definition of that word here, comes mainly from the sexual remarks of Chelsea Handler and are directed at the same sleepy 13-year-olds.

It's too bad. I like Reese Witherspoon and, prior to this movie, I had concluded that she was never in a bad movie. Isn't she being offered any better roles than this? It is one of the few movies where you feel sorry for the guy who gets the girl. Actually, by that point in the movie, you really don't care. Yet, the sad truth, the very sad truth is that the movie will probably be a box office hit, a fact that will generate more movies in this genre and keep computer programmers employed for years to come.

I almost started off hating this movie before I had seen it; I thought the trailer looked like crap, with horrible comedic dialog and premises, but I took the chance on free screening tickets, figuring I could make fun at worst. The film opens with shooting at the hip action and stays pretty entertaining in comedy and delivery. Witherspoon's character's sister (Chelsea Handler) and their interactions are lots of fun. Chris Pine does a good job being semi-typecast and the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. It's way better than expected and I wouldn't have been upset had I paid full price for it. Like a review I read said, it's a romantic movie that guys won't have to be dragged to. Is it a great movie? No. Is it a fun valentines movie? Yes.

one of the worst films in 2012. there have many lousy movies released in 2012 so far, but this one sure got on the top 10 worst films of the year. the screenplay writer(s) should be slapped on the face heavily since they just proved to be certified morons in Hollywood. i really don't know why all the guys in Hollywood would use c.i.a. for all such kinda stupid movies. it seems that Hollywood is obsessed with c.i.a., but at the same time they molest c.i.a. anyway they could. the c.i.a. Hollywood style is pure nonsense. the Hollywood c.i.a.female chief in this movie is absolutely a bitch, and those two Hollywood c.i.a. male agents are stupid morons. Witherspoon, my god, she looked so old and ugly, full of wrinkles, but still tried to look like a....eh....teenager? a young woman in the early twenties? the director of this film is also a horrible one who obviously not quite understood the difference between farce and comedy. how come the average score of this horrible movie can still be around 6.5? maybe the producers of this movie really know that the majority of this movie's viewers are indeed morons?

This Means War is the oldest tale: two men fight for the attention of a beautiful woman. However, this time, the two men in question happen to be the new Captain Kirk and the new Bane from Batman and they're vying for the affections of that chick from Legally Blonde. Unfortunately, neither man use phasers, photon torpedoes or terrorist plots to sack an entire city, but they do make for an interesting pair of combatants - namely because they're both best friends who happen to work for the CIA (incidentally, everyone in the CIA looks like a supermodel - you probably didn't know that).

This means that there are gadgets and underhand techniques aplenty in their mission to generally do each other down and stab each other in the back.

This all takes place in a strange world filled with primary colours where everything looks like the inside of a Barbie doll's house (plus in this world a girl who looks like Reece Witherspoon can't actually get a date). There are some brief battles and even a minor car chase to keep the action junkies in their zone, but, primarily, this is a love (triangle) story and, if I'm honest, it's not a bad one.

This Means War is stupid, predictable, dumb, but strangely quite endearing and I found myself even laughing out loud in some places.

I think the film could be described as a 'date movie' as it's a good one to watch with a lady. And, if I ever stop sitting on the sofa watching DVDs and take a girl out, I may just show her this film.

And, just as a side note, why do both leading men look like they're wearing lipstick? Is it just me who thought that?

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Cartoony romp has a slick surface but not much underneath. What it does have are three charming actors who work hard to buoy it with their personality and charisma. Tom Hardy and Chris Pine work well together, actually their chemistry with each other is much stronger than either share with their female co-star. Reese is ditsy and sweet but whoever was in charge of her hair should be ashamed, it looks distractingly like straw. The director's roots in music videos are painfully obvious and he does nothing to smooth out the many kinks in the borderline creepy plot. Wasted in nothing parts are Til Schweiger a good actor stuck in a standard villain part that must have been larger in the original script and Angela Bassett, a great actress in a stick figure part that is so far beneath her abilities it's a crying shame. Rosemary Harris is thankfully on hand briefly to brighten a few scenes. Silly and painless you'll forget it as soon as it's over. All involved have made better films and will again.