This Means War

This Means War (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Best friends and CIA agents FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) finally hit the dating scene and both end up falling in love with the same girl (Reese Witherspoon). The girl, Lauren, is also just hitting the dating scene and is getting advice from her best friend (Chelsea Handler) who suggests she date two men and then decide which one is the best. Not knowing that her two men know one another, she sets out to see who is the best and the men decide to do war on each other. THIS MEANS WAR is a very, very, very stupid movie. Now, you might say that all romantic comedies need to be somewhat stupid and I think that's true but this film is so insulting to the three stars and their characters that I really wanted to jump through the screen and just scream at them. The three are constantly doing very stupid things that are just so over-the-top and out there that they're not charming but instead they're creepy. The fact that the two men, in the CIA. are using millions of dollars and high tech equipment to spy on each other is just a little weird. Even weirder is a scene where one of the men ends up having sex with the girl and since both have bugged her apartment with cameras their co-workers are back at the office watching them. You really have to wonder what these "agents" are supposed to be doing. Oh yeah, there's a subplot about them going after a bad guy but this entire thing is so unbelievable that you really can't take any of it serious. What's even worse is that all three of the characters, considering their professions, would have to be intelligent people yet they never do anything smart. They do nothing but something an uneducated moron would do and yet we're supposed to believe their characters. The Handler character is just there delivering very bad one-liners and the advice also seems so silly that you wonder why someone like Witherspoon would even bother with this person. I've been a fan of Witherspoon's since around 1991 and I must say that it's getting sad to see her in film's like this. Someone so talented delivering pictures like this and HOW DO YOU KNOW is just sad to see. Yes, she's "good" her but does it really matter when such talent is being wasted? Both Pine and Hardy are good in their bits but they too should be insulted by this screenplay (and happy with the paycheck I'm sure). This was my first time seeing Handler and I can't say I was impressed. THIS MEANS WAR is just a really stupid movie with stupid characters doing stupid things. Am I taking a comedy to serious? I don't think so especially when no one involved bothered to make it good.

one of the worst films in 2012. there have many lousy movies released in 2012 so far, but this one sure got on the top 10 worst films of the year. the screenplay writer(s) should be slapped on the face heavily since they just proved to be certified morons in Hollywood. i really don't know why all the guys in Hollywood would use c.i.a. for all such kinda stupid movies. it seems that Hollywood is obsessed with c.i.a., but at the same time they molest c.i.a. anyway they could. the c.i.a. Hollywood style is pure nonsense. the Hollywood c.i.a.female chief in this movie is absolutely a bitch, and those two Hollywood c.i.a. male agents are stupid morons. Witherspoon, my god, she looked so old and ugly, full of wrinkles, but still tried to look like a....eh....teenager? a young woman in the early twenties? the director of this film is also a horrible one who obviously not quite understood the difference between farce and comedy. how come the average score of this horrible movie can still be around 6.5? maybe the producers of this movie really know that the majority of this movie's viewers are indeed morons?

Hey, this isn't Citizen Kane. But it's funny, the actors are all good, and even though the premise is pretty silly--two secret agent types pursuing the same woman--the writers milked the possibilities about as much as they could without getting mindlessly stupid. The principals don't try to assassinate each other, merely to undermine one another's efforts, and the story works. Also, it doesn't hurt in a Rom-Com that Reese Witherspoon looks gorgeous throughout--as I suppose do Chris Pine and Tom Hardy for those more inclined in that direction--and the supporting cast is equally charming, with Chelsea Handler and Abigail Spencer especially deserving of kudos. What's not to like?

I almost started off hating this movie before I had seen it; I thought the trailer looked like crap, with horrible comedic dialog and premises, but I took the chance on free screening tickets, figuring I could make fun at worst. The film opens with shooting at the hip action and stays pretty entertaining in comedy and delivery. Witherspoon's character's sister (Chelsea Handler) and their interactions are lots of fun. Chris Pine does a good job being semi-typecast and the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. It's way better than expected and I wouldn't have been upset had I paid full price for it. Like a review I read said, it's a romantic movie that guys won't have to be dragged to. Is it a great movie? No. Is it a fun valentines movie? Yes.

If you wanted to make a movie that was successful at the box office, you could plug the story lines of the top 25 movies for the last 10 years into a computer and have it generate a plot. It would probably come up with a new genre called the 'romantic action comedy'. It would probably come up with, 'This Means War'. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out who it was targeted for. First, no adult with a few functioning neurons will find the plot compelling. I doubt if women would find the romance unforgettable. I, therefore, concluded that the movie was targeted towards 15 year old boys out on their first dates. Yes, there are the obligatory action scenes with the required number of explosions and car chases, but this is mainly to wake up the 13-year-olds who fell asleep during the 'romantic' scenes. The comedy, and I am stretching the dictionary definition of that word here, comes mainly from the sexual remarks of Chelsea Handler and are directed at the same sleepy 13-year-olds.

It's too bad. I like Reese Witherspoon and, prior to this movie, I had concluded that she was never in a bad movie. Isn't she being offered any better roles than this? It is one of the few movies where you feel sorry for the guy who gets the girl. Actually, by that point in the movie, you really don't care. Yet, the sad truth, the very sad truth is that the movie will probably be a box office hit, a fact that will generate more movies in this genre and keep computer programmers employed for years to come.