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  • My header doesn't refer to the talented actresses in "An Office Romance" but rather to the dimwitted approach of writer-director Lee Roy Myers, who was briefly entrusted with New Sensations' once-popular Romance genre features, taking time out from his lucrative churning out of crummy ripoffs known as "porn-parodies". This loser was apparently inspired by the financial success of his pair of ripoffs of TV's "The Office", which I will scrupulously avoid watching in its wake.

    Myers is extremely smug in the lengthy (41 mins.) BTS short subject included on the DVD, but his hack approach is evident throughout the feature.

    Other than clokwork use of stills of a building facade to separate the five sex scenes, we are trapped in a lousy set of the office and conference room, as an able cast recites cliched dialog and try to appear empathetic in their cardboard roles. Even the mean boss, who fires (actually consisting of a transfer back to the marketing department) Charles Dera early in the show is played by Evan Stone as Mr. Softy, with his crummy dialog of regret actually preserved by some IMDb schmo who submitted the lines as Quotes as if they represented the work of Shakespeare or Pinter.

    Myers promises us a surprise ending, but that supposed plot twist and reveal is so obvious from the git-go that I was almost embarrassed on Lee Roy's behalf. Yes, this a tale of unrequited (until the finale of course) love, with co-workers Dera and lovely Monique Alexander as the protagonists. At nearby desks Joey Brass and Gracie Glam portray the helpful friends and confidantes, while Velicity Von and Heather Summers pop up; to provide plenty of big-breast action, what the fans are really hungering for. Almost lost in the shuffle is stud Niko, evidently borrowed from Playgirl TV's hammerlock on the Romance vignettes genre, who gets to hump a bit too.

    Photographed by the label's ubiquitous workhorses Eddie Powell and Paul Woodcrest, the sex scenes are so perfunctory as to drain every ounce of eroticism (if not spunk) out of them, and Myers' flat direction is an anti-joy to behold. If his goal was to kill off story-line Adult cinema to make way for the total conquest by gonzo (which seems imminent) he certainly succeeded as best he could.